02/04/25:
It's been a while, but life seems worthy again, not just a sunny day, nor the kiss of my dog. But life. As a commune aspect. So I can see art and feel fulfilled again. Music doesn't seem a distraction anymore, but a piece of somebody else's heart, thanks to Frank Ocean I know that.
I try not to fall back onto my old ways, but you can't stop being you, so I can't shop being me... I kissed a dude, and I got feelings. Just not love. And I felt shit for a while. Just like everyone else, I just want to feel something, that contact between two. His touch felt like a dream, maybe cause I was quite drunk. Then back home I had a good cry, feeling sorry for myself but even more for my future self... Many things these days have been feeling too mundane even for me, I want to stop looking at the feed of everybody else, I want to feel me again, post something every now n then. This is just my archive, not my life.
