#pickup pocalypse

[bushelofmuses]

@laimdalen-itellam is victim number five in the pickup-pocalypse for making the mistake of liking that post.

You're getting two for the price of one.

Ameridan and Myrna drew straws to see who'd go first. Ameridan, apparently. Maker, why did he let her talk him into this...

He approached Lavellan and rested a hand on his shoulder. "On a scale of one to ten, one being Adorable and ten being Maker-Dammed Adorable, I'd give you a fifteen."

"Boooo! Old man can't woo, can you? Here. My turn."

"I'll have you know I've seduced plenty in my lifetime. How many have you gotten?"

"Doesn't matter. You're an old fart trying to drop a pickup line on someone even younger than me. Of course you're going to be terrible at it. Watch and learn." Myrna hip-checked him out of the way and bounced a little where she stood, grinning at Lavellan. "Mar, do you mind if I stare at you up close rather than from across the room? I'd hate to miss one detail of your perfection...just say yes so we can put him out of his misery."

[bushelofmuses]

@nehraa-asaaranda is victim number three to the shitty pickup-pocalypse.

She needed a step ladder but dammit was she going to try to win the competition. Myrna quickly climbed up and wrapped an arm around Asaaranda's shoulders and said, "I'm studying important dates in history. Want to be one of them?"

[bushelofmuses]

//

[bushelofmuses]

@hcroesjcurney is victim number four in the shitty pickup-pocalypse bc they were foolish enough to like that post

Cole looked between her and the slip of paper he had in his hand. Right. He could do this. "Have you been covered in bees recently—that sounds unpleasant—because you look sweeter than honey..."

He began muttering to himself, his free hand scratching beneath his hat. "Varric this doesn't make sense. Morwenna isn't covered in honey?"