The budget talk...
So it has taken me quite some time to complete the post on this topic. Many of my fellow working moms that want to make the jump to this side (for whatever reason) have all asked... "Girl, how did you figure out the money thing?"
It truly was one of the most difficult things about making the decision to stay home was the "budget" talk. You know...the talk you MUST have with your spouse to go over current finances and future financial goals to make sure all parties are on the same page. The level of uncomfortableness of this topic may also depend on how your marriage/union was financially set up from the beginning.
We got married at 30...so we both were working and financially independent when we joined as one. So we have a his/hers/ours system. Doesn't work for everyone, works for US..no judgment.
I have always been overly concerned/responsible with my finances. I have multiple color coded spreadsheets and can tell you to the penny how much is in my checking or savings account or owed on a credit card at any given time (remember Finance is my background). I know my credit score every month... hey...that's just who I am. But now, I have put myself in a position where I have to convey EVERYTHING.
My husband completely understands that woman he married. So when he asked for my budget (spreadsheet)...he was "gentle". I immediately started having a "small" anxiety attack. He asked again after I didn't send him my spreadsheet right away. He persuaded me to list EVERYTHING. There are certain things (hair, nails) that can't be completely sacrificed with this decision...cut back yes, cut out... no! He insisted that I keep them in my number. My occasion need to feed my shoe addiction...yup, included. As well as all the expenses that go to support the household that don't necessarily have a specific line item to be grouped under ... all in there.
So I pressed "send" on the email and and then waited (with a glass of wine or two or the bottle..no judging) for the "TALK". I must admit it was not nearly as bad as I had imagined. Again, you have to KNOW your SPOUSE. You also have to KNOW YOURSELF. I knew I would need to cut back on some frivolous spending. He knew there were some things I would need to continue to do to be ME. I knew there would be some expenses that would be reduced simply as a result of the decision (dry cleaning, gas, the lunchtime shopping). We both came away with a PLAN that works for US. Having a SUPPORTIVE SPOUSE is crucial - it won't work if you both aren't committed to the decision. COMMUNICATION is key. TRUST, HAVE FAITH and IT WILL workout.