Ubud still makes me think. This is so wonderful because I feel how things come up, how I overthink stuff I just did over the years. Where I just do things the way I always did them or plainly react in a way I am used too. Now. Seeing this all clearer, having the opportunity to question myself - a lot! Gives me a chance. And of course I am great person (just sayin), but there are things that I don't want to do or be and now is the time to reflect and change. Let's make it concrete. 1) I am a yes person - but! usually only on the second or third chance. Why? Cause I am afraid, need to think about it, imaging the situation, come to the conclusion this might be worth a try. But!! There are things in life where you just have one chance. Dancing in the rain with a foreigner - going to a eye-gazing session - talking to the cute guy at the yoga session before you get nervous. Solution: just do it. 2) I am totally overthinking any romantic relationship that might be at the horizon. I see someone barely talk to him but imagine what he might think about me, daydream how we end up at a romantic scooter drive to the rice fields or watch the sky at night. But!! Do nothing to even come close to being alone with him at all (and usually find them with another girl shortly after *grml*). Solution: stop daydreaming. Talk to random people to get over your shyness. Live. Be happy. Get to know people. Start "something" even though you don't know how it ends or what it means. 3) I am still waiting to be found. This is so frustrating. This damn Hollywood movies that make you be rescued or seen by mister: perfect looking nice guy who throws everything away, even so you just made a dramatic scene in public, to rescue you!!!! Agh!! So there is a lot to learn. First: don't expect people who barely know you to do anything more then you would do... Second: men do actually have an ego and that is fine. Don't expect them to do all for you when you just hurt them or disrespected them... Third: you are not to be found or rescued or anything. And men are not looking around to identify the women of their dreams by how beautiful she looks or dances or whatever. You actually have to talk to them. How would they otherwise know who you are? Solution: behave like an adult woman for gods sake!!! That's enough to change for now I guess ;-)