Memories of the Past 2: The time I was nearly underweight
As a kid (and even still now), I was swayed very easily by others' opinions, partly because I assumed everyone else was always right. On top of that, I was extremely competitive. I attended, again, Casa Montessori, where my grade level literally had about ten of us. The whole idea was that we were a family, and thus we would compete on everything.
One time around third grade (don't quote me on this: those years all blur together), I walked into a conversation: "Hey, how much do you weigh?" "70." "Ha! I weigh 63!" Suddenly, we were all comparing weights. This was something I thought I could win. "60." Nobody spoke up.
"50...6" Nazek came out of nowhere! I forgot how small she was! My victory was blown right out my hands, but I wasn't going to let it be that easy. Four pounds? I can lose that much. It didn't occur to me at the time that her smaller size and gender put her at a clear advantage.
I was already slim for my age, so my mother became very concerned. "Ijay, please eat some more. I'm worried that you never finish your plate." Sorry, can't do that. I have to beat a friend. Beside, I had already tricked myself into thinking I only needed to eat until I stopped feeling hunger instead of the "Full Load" feeling.
At the next doctor;s visit, they weighed and measured my height. The doctor pointed to a chart. "This is the average line, and this shaded region is the 'Safe' zone. You're right here, toward the bottom of that." Yes! Look how many people I'm beating! Even though I had only lost one pound, I still thought I could do it.
It didn't hit me until later that year when we went on a trip. We were going to somewhere in Tennessee to go rafting. We were waiting around in a log cabin, my parents filling out the paperwork. The manager had to check to see if I met the qualifications since I was the smallest.
He put me on a scale and I remember thinking, "Come on! Lower than sixty! Come one! 58 pounds! Yes!" Then my mum looked at me sadly: "Sorry, Ijay. You can't go rafting with us. You have to weigh sixty pounds. Don't worry, we can go tubing instead."
That's when I realised that being the lightest doesn't always make you win. My parents told me we could go back next year, and I'm pretty sure that's the only reason why I began to eat more. Slowly, I moved up the doctor's graph into a safer zone. I was still skinny for my age, and I still am, but my mother's fear receded back into her mind. I considered competing with my friends for the highest weight, but I was far behind in that regard so I went back to my running.
Today's awesome song is brought to you by Corey Schutzer, who must play a very difficult piece on the contrabass.