I'm hyperfixating againnn and it's time for a s/i intro! This is gonna be a three in one because I figure that's just fine.
1: Danielle "Dan" Henderson (Ship Name: Dan And The Girl She Pulled By Being Autistic)
Dustin's older sister. Dating Robin Buckley after S4's hijinks. Been involved since S1, technically. Goofy, unpredictable, surly, Supreme Overlord od Middle-School-Fucked-Me-Up-Land
2: Theodora "Teddy" Bauman (Ship Name: Turn My World Upside Down)
Murray Bauman's kid. Dating Steve Harrington since S3 to everyone's surprise. Been involved since S2. Snarky, argumentative, abrasive, but funny and kind. "Fuck the man" is her motto
3: Ruth Sawyer (Ship Name: The Kids Aren't All Right: 1980s Remaster)
Goes by Saw because Eddie called her that and it stuck. Dating Eddie Munson since his first senior year. Got dragged into all this when Dustin showed up looking for Eddie because they decided he was at her place.
Their stories run parallel in the same clump of stories because I like the thought of them as a chaos trio and friend group.
General facts:
All three of them minus Ruth are in Hellfire. Ruth isn't in it but she might as well be because Eddie has her present for every meeting and Ruth helps him plan campaigns sometimes. She doesn't give the others spoilers and they wouldn't ask even if they thought she would.
Dan has been there since early middle school (she's in Robin & Nancy's year but Eddie doesn't care he makes friends across grade divides). She's Dustin's big sister and that won Dustin some major brownie points with Eddie. Teddy showed up in eighth grade/late middle school and both Eddie and Dan immediately thought "yeah ok she's in for sure." Ruth showed up on the radar in sophomore year and Teddy was such a shithead carbon copy of her father that she didn't rest until Ruth and Eddie were dating.
The whole group (I call them the Fucked Up Four w/ Eddie or the Terrible Trio w/o him) steal each other's clothes and do pot at each other's houses and just generally wreak havoc. They have a reputation throughout all of their peer group in Hawkins because they've been such menaces.
More details to come but also random blurbs and hcs of them interacting with the world I dropped them into.
Teddy watched Steve drag the back of his hand and arm across his mouth, leaving a smear of blood and spit across it. The petals left in the toilet bowl swirled on top of the water. There was a whole flower with them, blood seeping out between the baby pink petals in a decidedly creepy way.
Funny. Teddyhad really liked pink camellia before this. They were pretty. The symbolism was nice too.
But now the symbolism was killing her friend, a guy she really cared about, who she... loved. She could say it. At least in her head, she could say it.
It wasn't like anything would come of it. The proof couldn't be any clearer that he wasn't into her. If he were, he wouldn't have it. If it were her, he wouldn't be staring at confirmation that he was unloved right now.
She'd made her peace with it. Not with him having this disease, not with him refusing to tell anyone but her, not with her own feelings, but with the fact that he didn't want her. That, at least, she'd made her peace with.
As the toilet flushed and pulled its petals down with it, Steve sighed. It was nice that she was here but it hurt. Seeing her worry over him, fuss and finnick in exactly the way that made him love her, hurt.
She was so close, she clearly cared so much. But that couldn't save him, because he was an idiot.
He loved her. And as encouraging as her words and behavior were, this hanahaki shit said pretty clearly that she didn't love him back.
Not like he wanted her to.
"You think about telling her?" Teddy asked. "You think... maybe you should, I dunno." Steve laughed humorlessly. If only she knew...
"No," he said. "It wouldn't do any good."
"What do you mean any good?" Teddyasked. "There's gotta be a chance, right? I mean... c'mon, it's Nancy, right? She liked you before, sh-"
"It's not Nance," Steve said. He shook his head. "It's not her." Teddy couldn't help but believe him. Why lie now?
"Then who..." Steve looked at her over his shoulder. Okay, come on. Teddy looked at him. He looked so sad. Crumpled. Wilted, even. But the look in his eye was soft, and reverent. Even when she was being frustrating and she knew it, he didn't seem annoyed.
It gave him away. Oh.
"Oh," she said. "Shit. Steve, I-" Love you too. Wish you'd told me sooner. Can't believe I didn't notice it. Hate myself for putting you through this even accidentally. She opened her mouth to say some combination of this, but didn't get the chance.
"Oh, sh-hit-" he started coughing. It felt like the flowers were trying to grow out of his throat even as he coughed them up.
"Steve!" Teddy scooted across the floor and started rubbing his back. He was still coughing, his whole body hacking and jerking as his lungs tried to accommodate the flowers. He was leaning forward, one hand over his mouth as the other gripped Teddy's knee for dear life.
She put her hand over his and squeezed. "I love you too," she said, voice barely above a whisper but filled with urgency. "I love you too."
The coughing stopped for the first time in several glorious, tiny eternities and Steve began to sit up. "You don't have to-"
"Well I do," she said. "Deal with it, Harrington." He turned his hand so he could hold hers properly as he hacked up the last of the petals.
That's the thought that kept Teddy up at night. It wasn't fair. Steve deserved love. He had so much love to give- clearly, given the increasing severity of his condition- and the one he wanted to give it to didn't love him back. It wasn't fair.
It wasn't even Nancy's fault, either, which made Teddy even more miserable about all this.
Over the days following Steve telling her about all this, a few things happened. He stayed with her overnight, and for a few days after that. Luckily once they explained Steve's condition, Dad was very understanding. He got it. Teddy didn't have to explain, he knew what to make of this.
Teddy was scared to let him return to his home. His parents weren't there, so if this got worse it'd happen without anyone to monitor it or help him.
And right after that, the flowers started coming up bloody. It made sense- all that hacking and coughing, plus something growing in his lungs, of course it'd draw blood. But its perfect rationality didn't make it less concerning.
Teddy's worst fear as of late was him dying or getting life-threateningly ill and her not being there to help.
If he died...
Fuck. This wasn't fair. Teddy was living in constant terror.
She really cared about Steve. For a fleeting second when he told her what was happening she wished it was for her so that she could fix it.
But he probably wouldn't have it if it were for her, so... moot point and all that.
Steve was currently hacking up more petals into a trash can.
"Any clue what flower it's mimicking?" Steve asked.
"In your case?" Teddy asked. She looked at the flower bud he was holding up. "Uhh... looks like pink camellia."
"Is that bad?"
"Probably doesn't make a difference," Teddy said. "Never gets mentioned, really." She looked at the flower thoughtfully. "Although if you're coughing up whole buds it's not long before it's whole flowers, so we should really start thinking about next moves."
Steve wished he'd kept his mouth shut. Maybe it'd already be on its way out then, who knows. But telling Teddy, watching her immediately drop everything and take care of him, even letting him stay in her house... it only made him love her more.
And since she clearly couldn't tell, she definitely did not feel the same way.
He dropped the bud in the trash can and spit out the last of the petals, this time accompanied by two bits of shredded stem. Gross. This disease was gross. That wasn't a word he used to describe himself but it was the only word for this.
Teddy pulled out the Farmer's Almanac edition that she got at a fair when she was a kid, the one with the flower symbolism guide in it. She leafed through it until she found it, and then found pink camellia- longing. She didn't even need the guide, pink camellias had been a favorite of hers for a long time.
Of course. Of course it was longing. What else, for Steve Harrington? He longed for the love Nancy didn't give him, he longed for Nancy.
And Teddy longed for him. Privately, agonizingly, longed for him. Watched him suffer and wished she could redirect his feelings and give him everything Nancy wouldn't.
Later that night, as she slept in her bed- it was her turn with it, Steve wouldn't take it full time- she tried not to cry.
Why? Why him, why now, why?
It wasn't fair, it wasn't fucking fair.
What Teddy wouldn't give to fix this. Knowing what it was wouldn't fix it. Telling him what it was wouldn't fix it. Nothing Teddy did could fix it.
Ok so I had an idea at 3 am (the best kind of idea) and I'm writing my selfships with all the fanfic tropes I like. Or even just tropes I know.
First up is Hanahaki disease because it fucks severely (or at least my version of it does, imo). In my canon hanahaki disease is an opportunistic fungus that feeds on the hormones released by infatuation, particularly unrequited infatuation for... reasons. Suspend your disbelief idk.
Steve wasn't sure why this was happening. At this point he was fuzzy on when it started, he could barely narrow down a month. Which was weird because he'd think he'd remember when something this strange started happening to him.
It didn't seem related to what happened earlier this summer, at least. He was pretty sure. Of course, it happened the same month, but he just didn't think it was that.
If it was, it'd be spores and not petals.
When it first happened, he tried to cover it up. It was just one little coughing fit toward the end of the day, and a few petals came up, wet with spit and kind of crumpled. It was weird but not too bad.
Then it was a few little coughing fits scattered across the day, a few petals surfacing each time. It was gross and freaky but still, managable.
Steve didn't mention it to his parents when they stopped by. Why bother? They'd just say the same things he was telling himself. Or his dad would think he was on drugs. Or think it even more, he guessed.
But he had to ask someone what was happening to him, just in case it was like, a real thing. Like some species of flower did this and he had to go to a hospital.
His thoughts turned to Teddy very quickly. She would believe him, and he'd seen the kind of dedication she had to getting to the heart of a problem and fixing it. If anyone could help him, it was her.
So here he was, at her house- the one in Chicago, with Murray.
"You have got to be kidding me, Harrington," she said.
"Uh... no, not kidding," he said. "What, you know what this is?"
"Dude it's weird you don't know," Teddy said. "Hanahaki disease? First documented case like, centuries ago or something? It's a fungal infection that mimics flowers and feeds off human hormones and amino acids."
"Hold on this thing is eating me? Like from the inside?"
"...No," Bernie said. "But it's pretty curable. You take some meds to suppress the hormones feeding it and then get a quick surgery, clears up in like three weeks. Should be pretty affordable for a rich guy like you." Kid of a rich guy, thanks, I lost my job slinging ice cream.
"Is there another option?" Steve asked. "My dad was pissed that he had to pay the paramedics who patched me up at Starcourt, he's not gonna want to shell out more cash because I got... what, Haki?"
"Hanahaki," Teddy corrected him. "And the other option seems to be resolving the cause of the disease." Or waiting it out but that was a dangerous game.
"The cause? It's a fungus."
"No, the fungus is just an opportunist that latched onto an ideal source. The cause is the hormones that attracted the fungus," Teddie said. Steve didn't seem to show any recognition. "You seriously didn't learn about this in health class?"
"I didn't go to health class, I was too busy doing the things they were talking about in health class," Steve said. He had that cheeky smile he wore when he thought he was being funny. Teddy smiled against her will, a tic-like twitch at the corner of her mouth.
"Good for you. I learned that Hanahaki disease infects people with an abundance of the infatuation hormones. Particularly when someone's in love with someone who doesn't love them back. That's why it's called the love disease or love sickness sometimes." Shit. Love? Did that mean he was in love? Fuck.
Was he really surprised?
Of course that was it. The timing was perfect. He got it a little while after he realized he was in love with Teddy.
And apparently she didn't love him back. Which also didn't surprise him, because lately it felt like he was the guy who helped women realize they could do a lot better.
"So... wanna tell me who it is?"
"What?"
"No you're right that's stupid," Teddy said. "It doesn't matter, that's your business." Plus it'd probably break her heart, just a little bit, to hear that he was still in love with Nancy Wheeler.
She'd thought she had a chance before, in that bathroom. And then right before they split up, the way he looked at her... it felt like they were about to kiss. She wished she'd just gone for it. She wished she'd stopped to talk to him on that curb instead of grabbing her dad and taking him home, too.
If she'd done that, maybe he wouldn't have this. Maybe he'd love someone who loved him back.
Then again if he was still in love with Nancy so long after they broke up, Teddy probably couldn't change that. It was dumb and kind of narcissistic to think she could.
*
Well that's part one. There's two more for Turn My World Upside Down and then some homosexuality is well overdue.
And again I show up to throw headcanons into the void and disappear. (Also there's a new s/i introdump coming as soon as I remember what the fuck their names were supposed to be).
Teddie meeting Steve's parents:
• It was toward the end of Teddie's degree, her junior or senior year of college.
• Steve's parents found out he was dating a girl (through the Perkinses or something probably) and asked him to bring her over for dinner.
• It was the first family dinner Steve had had (and the first family dinner with Teddie ever) since he was a sophomore in high school and this was nerve-wracking enough.
• Teddie's refusal to take out her piercings was even more so. But he supported it because he didn't want his parents to think he was in love with some fake version of her.
• The Harringtons were floored when the girl from his highschool graduation walked in and sat down.
• Steve's dad (who I named Gary) interrogated her mercilessly. He found out she was working for her dad and didn't hesitate to share his disapproval of Murray's choices.
• Steve expected Teddie to fight his dad the way he did but she just passive aggressively responded by implying Gary was a nepotism baby.
• And thus began the 'hating Steve' portion of the evening.
• Steve's dad tried to bond with Teddie (who he still hated, btw) over bashing Steve. Implying he didn't have a real job, he couldn't be a provider, etc.
• Teddie tried shutting it down gently at first but he kept going so she set a hard line about dissing her boyfriend.
• Steve found that sweet but this night had become so humiliating he just wanted to leave.
• His mom tried to peacemake the whole time. It didn't work.
• Teddie was less focused on Steve's mom not arguing with her husband and more on Steve's mom not trying to defend or comfort Steve. She found it appalling that his mom ran after Gary, to comfort GARY, after Steve finally snapped and Gary stormed off.
• Steve apologized on the drive home. Something about that broke Teddie's heart and also made her snap because the rest of the drive home was a long rant about how terrible his parents are and how they should consider themselves lucky if they even get put in a home later.
• Steve was oddly quiet that whole night but Teddie was there and that helped.
• He also asked her to let him be the little spoon that night. She couldn't refuse. Especially not when he held her hand so tight that it almost bruised as he had a very obvious struggle against tears.
Steve meeting Teddie's parents:
• Steve had already met Murray. Once at Starcourt Mall, briefly, and then again when he helped Teddie move, and a third time in 1986 after they lost against Vecna and everyone reunited in Hawkins.
• Murray really seems to like him, which he is very grateful for. But he needs Teddie's moms to like him too.
• Teddie also wants her moms to like Steve, but she sees it as a given whereas Steve thinks once again his reputation precedes him in the worst way possible.
• Teddie arranges for them to come over and eat dinner with her moms so he can see how much they'll love him.
• Steve is nervous as hell. He rehearsed greetings to himself, spent too long on his hair and was freaking out on the drive over.
• He assumed it'd be a repeat of when Teddie met his parents.
• Boy did he not know what he was in for.
• Teddie's parents (all three of them) don't give a single shit about who he is as long as Teddie likes him and he treats her well.
• So when they meet, they've already heard all about the wonderful Steve. How sweet, smart, funny, gentle, kind, deserving of love, badass he is.
• And they take to him so easily.
• Dorothy starts calling him "hon" and offering him drink refills and fussing over him like he's part of the family.
• Tracy claps him on the back and ruffles his hair and laughs and jokes with him and lets him help in the kitchen and says how much of a responsible young man Teddie's boyfriend is, good for her snagging such a catch.
• Teddie is beaming and joking with her family and they're eating lasagna ("Murray's recipe, he's not Italian by any stretch but he can cook") and no one hates each other or fights and they're close.
• It's clear they actually spend time together. They love each other, like families do.
• They stay longer than expected.
• At the end of the night, Steve is handed chocolate chip pecan cookies (the family recipe Dorothy perfected, no less). Not Teddie (though of course the idea is for both of them to have them), him.
• Tracy tells him to drive safe and Dorothy tells him he and Teddie are welcome over any time.
• Steve is having a breakdown. Maybe Teddie was right and his family sucks. They definitely do compared to this.
Dan And The Girl She Pulled By Being Autistic HCs:
- Dan fell first, Robin fell harder.
- Dustin gave up on forcing Steve and Robin together after Steve kissed Teddy at the mall but he needed to try and force SOMEONE to have a relationship so he moved on to nagging Dan about Robin. He didn't know Robin was gay but he knew Dan was and he somehow forgot all about homophobia and thought the worst that could happen was Robin would say no.
- Dan spent a while crushing on Robin and trying to test the waters to see if Robin liked her back or was even capable of liking her back. Robin was so oblivious that she basically outright rejected Dan like twice, per Dan's point of view.
- Meanwhile once Robin realized she was into Dan, she was crushing so hard that she thought she was giving herself away and that Dan was bound to find out and make her a town pariah.
- Steve literally just thought they were already dating. They were always so cuddly with each other and Robin seemed flustered when Dan showed any public affection and Dan looked at Robin like Robin was the axis on which the world turned so he was like "ah yes a couple." (He literally should have been right)
- This notion was dispelled only when he asked how things were going between them and Robin immediately launched into a weird nervous rant about giving herself away and ruining a really great friendship or make herself a town pariah. Steve then became Wimgman #1 trying to get Robin and Dan together. He was very sure that Dan was into Robin.
- Dan also kinda thought they were dating at some point. She just thought that since Robin was always borrowing her jackets, they ate together after Robin's work got out a lot, Dan held Robin's hand in public a bunch, they were always clinging and leaning on each other etc, that meant they were kind of in a relationship. She had a really horrible "oh my god I made it all up" moment and ranted about it with Teddy, who from that moment onward sought to set Dan and Robin up. She and Dustin found common ground here.
- At some point in Season 4, Robin came out to Dan. Dan tried not to celebrate too obviously but Steve saw the way she lit the fuck up. (Dan was already out to this particular group but somehow Robin was being Very Oblivious, like SHSL Oblivious).
- At the end of Season 4, Dan decided life was short and it was time. She started talking to Robin, asked what it took for Robin to know a girl liked her, Robin said "I... I don't know, I honestly think she'd just have to go right ahead and kiss me or I'd probably explain it away, I m-" and Dan took that advice. Luckily they were in a pantry getting sandwich supplies for their volunteer work or that would've gone poorly. Robin stammered out what amounted to "what? Are we dating? That was great and I'd love to live in the moment but I need to know if this makes us dating."
- Steve clocked the newly-minted gay couple when they came out all smiley and relaxed. He also asked them on the drive home if they'd really been classless enough to make out at the relief center, to which they both shouted "NO shut up we kissed like once for half a second what is wrong with you" or something like that.
- They get less touchy in public now that they're dating but Steve lets them lock themselves in the back of Family Video so they can kiss or cuddle without any threat of interference or discovery. Ultimate Ally 100000/10.
- It is a LITTLE transactional, in that Robin now must allow Steve to take Bernie back there when she comes by, but like... totally fine trade-off.
- Dan has an intense fondness for playing with Robin's hair, doing Robin's makeup, doing up the last two buttons on Robin's shirt, etc. Robin gets so clumsily flustered about it and Dan's just like "^_^ what? (:"
- Robin plays with Dan's hair and does Dan's makeup too. She also likes to paint Dan's nails. (Dan only wears clear lacquer on them but Robin paints them anyway.)
- Robin doesn't even have to sneak into Dan's house to hang out (ie watch movies and try on e/os clothes), Dustin will let her in and make weird little snickers while Robin embarrassedly walks into Dan's room.
- If Steve and Dustin are the only two people around, Dan and Robin allow themselves to do cute couple-in-public shit like hold hands or sit with their legs on e/o's laps.
- Dan calls Robin "girlfriend" because it's weirdly enough it can pass as platonic just fine. Robin calls her "Dani" (is the only one allowed to do so, btw) and in public they let people think they're just besties.
- Dan has sat behind Robin and guided Robin's hands, technically teaching her how to play the cello or violin but really just being cute and gay. Robin has let Dan press the notes on her trumpet while Robin blows into it too. Dustin is extremely annoyed by this, as it frequently happens in his and Dan's house and is "so UNBELIEVABLY distracting, I literally cannot focus, do you KNOW how impossible-"
- Dan wears a shit ton of jewelry, mostly rows and rows of bracelets. Robin plays with them a lot, it's like a stim.
- Dan has like eighty cute pictures of Robin taped up in her closet.
- Robin has several pictures of Dan, which she keeps in a shoebox under her bed.
- Dan hitches a ride with Steve now bc Robin is also in that car at that time.
- Overall dynamic is "idiots to lovers" and also "Blaine and Kurt from Glee but if they were girls and also in the 80s.
- Steve yelled at Robin for holding up the video store phone line talking to Dan. Granted, HE only got mad because he wanted to hold up the phone line talking to Bernie, but still, uncool, Robin.
- Both of them have an unspoken agreement that now that they're officially girlfriend-girlfriend, they'll stick together in all further Vecna business. They're an essential unit. Inseparable.
- They're also inseparable in many other, non-Vecna-related stuff. Much to the deep annoyance of everyone around them.
- Dan pays for stuff on dates. She doesn't have to but she insists.
A/N: Hello again and welcome back to the 'Sprout is bored so they're writing about their fictional boyfriend on the internet' show! I'm your host, Sprout, let's see what our subject has come up with now!
Teddy's parents were a closeted mostly-gay man and an unrealized partly-gay woman. They married because it was what was expected of them, and Teddy happened and it sorta confirmed 'oh so... guess we're really doing this then.'
They divorced when Teddy was ten because Dorothy (her mom) found a girlfriend and promptly realized she'd rather be with her. It was an amicable split except when it came to custody of Teddy, when there was a great deal of tension.
Dorothy wanted her and Tracy to raise Teddy on their own. Murray was kind of attached to the shithead and didn't want to give her up. Dorothy had reservations about Murray's parenting skills. Murray had reservations about Dorothy's.
Dorothy tried to make Murray forfeit custody and his parental rights. Murray was going to agree to spare himself any further damage and Teddy any further conflict.
Until Teddy threw a holy-rolling fit and forced Dorothy and Tracy to let her stay with Murray for Passover, Hanukkah and the summer.
Then she forced Murray to let her stay with him for Passover, Hanukkah and the summer.
He was an odd father figure. Instead of normal bedtime stories he read her a mix of classic literature in English or Russian and he was NO help on social studies homework. In fact there were several awkward conferences about why Teddy wrote her JFK essay on his assassination being the work of LBJ or other such theories.
Her mom put her in music and martial arts lessons. She thrived in both. Her mom taught her how to apply makeup, how to fight like a girl, how to have ambition and pride, how to say fuck you in the most subtle ways, how to be a feminist from Hell, and to make her own pepper spray and to wear rings so if she had to punch someone it'd hurt more.
Her dad, meanwhile, taught her to question all authority, keep her identity and most things about herself secret, to never mind her business, not to back down, to argue openly and just generally be a menace to society.
Middle school was rough for her. She was enough like both her parents to be such a menace that teachers and other students alike didn't know how to handle her and she reveled in being an intimidatingly bizarre person. So no one liked her much.
Her father more or less told her "find someone who does tolerate you, attach yourself to them, and then destroy anyone who messes with any of your little group.
She did. And she found a group of metalhead/punk kids that she stuck with until living in Indianapolis was too expensive and she and her mom moved up to Hawkins.
At which point she did it again, and that's how she, Danielle Henderson, Eddie Munson, Jeff and Gareth became the inaugural members of Hellfire Club. It was eighth grade. They became GLUED together.
Teddy entertained all of Eddie's "freak rants" and Eddie entertained Teddy's conspiracy theories. Teddy and Danielle bonded over being gay.
Speaking of being gay, her dad knew she was bi before she did.
Murray likes subjecting Teddy's thoughts to intense intellectual scrutiny. He's unfortunately not of the 'let children win' school of thought so she had to really earn her victories. Unless it's at board games (including chess) because her skill at those is from her mom and she's SCARY good.
He encourages her to go at his thoughts with all her skepticism and intellectual might too.
They're very smart and very annoying together. Like. They're smart on their own but together they become an unstoppable unit of pure malice.
Murray isn't really a lovey-dovey-feely type father. He helps her resolve her feelings just... not the way most parents do. He gets the job done and he's made Teddy into something functional, that's what matters.
Teddy and her dad both have insomnia so there's a lot of late nights hanging out and being weird together. Parallel play is a big thing with them- just hanging out in the same room, reading or watching stuff or in Murray's case PI stuff.
Murray hugs her a lot. Or rather, she being a physical-touch kinda girl hugs him and he happily returns it.
Murray lets her live recklessly, for the most part. He doesn't expect that she won't drink, he thinks America's drinking age is dumb, and he expects she'll probably do pot at some point. His only real rules are that she call him or Dorothy if she EVER thinks she might be in trouble, that she doesn't absolutely destroy the place, and that she follow some general common sense rules like not getting caught, doing all her drugs/alcohol/sex safely, not screwing people over, etc.
He has also given her a general distrust of cops and dislike of authority.
Her family has a bad reputation in town for being pretty clearly queer and very openly liberal but Teddy gives so little of a shit about that (outwardly at least) that they've all given up trying to bully her about it.
She wasn't involved in the plot in Season One but due to her dad working on the Hollands' behalf she knows just about what happened.
She was also... briefly stalking the Byers family. Her dad needed some pictures for information and she was happy to oblige.
And her dad called her when Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan Byers came by to tell her the new and improved timeline. And the FULL story.
As such, he also told her to start keeping a first aid kit and a weapon on her at all times, and to NEVER let her krav maga go rusty.
Her weapon of choice was a machete and her first aid kit is well stocked.
She also met Max while skating (she longboards to clear her head) around her mom's neighborhood (which is also Max's neighborhood) and more or less immediately adopted the brat. Max didn't warm up to the 'weird neighbor chick who has her dog pull her skateboard like a sled' until Teddy followed Billy to the Byers house and straight up knocked the dude out by bashing him into the wall, then reanimated him so Max could make her demands.
8/10 childhood, 10/10 family
Okay so apparently it was a deep dive into Teddy's childhood. Tune in next time for more hits from the 'Sprout's bored so they're writing about their fictional boyfriend' show!
Okay the title is another instance of me thinking I'm clever and probably being wrong but the story is a comedic bit about the canon gang plus my s/is deciding where to go from here in my 'Eddie Lives' au. Canon-typical shit ensues. Enjoy!
The silence that settled over the van after the endless minutes of panic was deafening. Not even Robin had words. Teddy stared out the windshield, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles and wide eyes. Steve sat in the passenger seat, tense and clearly thinking nothing but this is fucking crazy.
"What's gonna happen to Eddie and Max?" Lucas asked. He was still holding Max as though the minute he let go she'd start floating again.
"I dunno," Dan said. She had moved to let Ruth hold Eddie and was now crammed between Ruth and Robin.
"They still think he's a murderer," Dustin said. "This town still fucking hates him."
"At least Jason can't do anything to him," Ruth said. "We've got a chance at clearing his name now that psycho's out of our way."
"Yeah," she said. "So... what if we use him to clear Eddie's name? He was there when Max died, the cops questioned him about Chrissy's death first... the only victim we can't connect him to is Fred and they can't connect him to Eddie either."
Jason was out of the way... Teddy felt an idea forming. What was it she'd joked about with Steve? It was always the "normal" ones who turned out fucked up enough to kill people.
"That wouldn't work," Lucas said. "Patrick-"
"It was just the three of them out there," Ruth said. "The other one stayed behind for some reason. We could say it was Jason, it's our word against his."
"And he's dead so it's really just our word," Dan said.
"Hang on hang on, why would Jason-" Nancy started. Why would Eddie? Bernie thought
"Let's say Eddie and Chrissy were hanging out. Let's say Jason heard they were at Eddie's place and-"
"Snapped," Lucas said.
"And Eddie ran to get help but Jason got to him first," Ruth added. "Maybe he realized he had to get himself an alibi so he went back to the party and locked Eddie at the boathouse."
"Exactly," Teddy said.
"Okay, why-"
"He's crazy, Nancy, he just killed someone," Dan said. "He's freaked out and he doesn't want to get caught."
"And in the morning he realizes he has to blame this on someone so he blames Eddie."
"But Fred-"
"Was in the wrong place at the wrong time, right?" Teddy asked. "He found something, or saw something, I dunno, none of us were there but of course Jason would kill again to cover up the first one."
"I'm- I'm sorry, are we mad-libbing a cover story to frame a guy for murder?" Steve asked.
"Yes," Teddy answered quickly. "Now back to the point."
"He went back to the boathouse to finish what he started and get rid of Eddie," Lucas said. "But Patrick showed up."
"Another wrong place, wrong time killing, but this time his own teammate," Teddy said. "Ya gotta admit from a narrative perspective it kinda works, Nance." Nancy looked stunned and sick.
"Okay, but-"
"And by now who knows, maybe he does think this is all Munson's fault," Teddy said. "And he's hunting Eddie because now Eddie's out and he could ruin everything. And he finds Max and Lucas' group- and Lucas could also ruin everything because Lucas isn't buying it anymore." Lucas nodded.
"Max and I were trying to find Eddie because we were starting to think he was innocent," Lucas said. "And we tried to make Jason tell us the truth... and he snapped again."
"Okay so where were the rest of us?" Dustin asked.
"You were looking for Eddie too," Dan said. "With me, at Eddie's trailer."
"And we were trying to find you guys," Teddy said. "And you drag an injured Eddie onto the side of the road, you found him hiding in the woods when the earthquake hit and injured you both."
"Can I keep the killing-Jason-in-self-defense thing or does he have to die in the earthquake?" Ruth asked.
"Yeah you guys keep the same story but it was you interrogating him instead of the other way around," Teddy said. "So we get Eddie and you guys in here. He tells us this whole thing before falling unconscious, and we realize Max's group is in danger and go to her, by which time she's almost dead but Jason is real-dead. Sound good?"
"Sounds messy," Nancy said.
"Okay, so remember the bit that relates to you and if the cops ask about the others just say 'that sounds like a question for them doesn't it?' and we're in the clear," Teddy said.
"What about them?" Dustin asked. "How do we give two unconscious people this plan?"
"I'm not leaving Eddie's bedside until he's up so I can fill him in while I'm at it," Ruth said. "Lucas can do the same for Max." Lucas nodded.
"Really is your year, isn't it Eds?" Teddy asked. There was a weak laugh around the van.
"Y’know, before I knew you guys I didn't lie nearly as much," Erica said. "My whole house is on fire."
"We tried to stop you from coming along," Lucas said.
"Wait your house is on fire?" Steve asked.
"It's that 'liar liar pants on fire' thing," Teddy said. Steve nodded.
"Oh..."
"Seriously, do you need to be told everything?" Dustin asked.
So glad that we're all talking again but like... how do I make them shut up?
