CONGRATS ON 7K!!!! 🎉🎉🎉 may i please play roulette with poly darksun and number 12 from the acts of service list :]
thanks for playing!
poly!darksun x gn!reader who know everything there is to know about James [694 words]
CW: no gender markers used for reader, cheek and fluff, affectionate name calling
“No, don’t eat those.” You murmur softly without lifting your head, causing James’ hand to pause on its route to his mouth, the pastry hovering listlessly in front of his mouth.
“Did…she poison them or something?” He asks as he relents to your warning, placing the turnover back onto its plate that Lily had dropped off earlier whilst James was at work.
With this, Barty cackles, though he doesn’t look up from the trashy magazine he's flipping through. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you? I always knew you were into some freaky shit.”
“Oh sod off.” James laughs, propping his socked-feet up to place them on Barty’s lap which sees one of his hands disappearing beneath the kitchen table to rub at them dutifully. “What? You lot just want them all for yourself? Is that it?”
You laugh as you finally look up from where you’re chopping vegetables for tonight's dinner to give him a teasing look. “No, you tit. They have cherry filling; last time she made cherry cheesecake you got hives, you might be allergic.”
James’ brows furrow as he pushes the plate further away from him; Barty’s finger digging harder into the arch of his foot which causes James’ bemused eyes to flit up and meet Barty’s questioning ones.
“And you just…know that?” He asks dumbly, both partners slowing to a halt to give him a funny look.
“Well…yeah?” You venture, shooting Barty a wary gaze before returning to your chopping.
“What else do you know?”
It’s as if Barty had been simply waiting for someone to ask, throwing his magazine haphazardly over his shoulder as he directs his sole attention to James.
“Last week Y/N had to remind you to take your medication three times.”
James was immediately defensive. “Okay…well, that just means that I-”
“I had to remind you twice.” He continues with a Cheshire cat smile.
“Be nice, Barty.” You chide, though you’re smiling too. “I know that you fell off a swing set at 11 years old and haven’t trusted them ever since.”
James doesn’t get a chance to argue, nor to ask how you know that when Barty continues. “You have a scar on your shoulder blade from the incident.”
“You spent three years insisting you hated mushrooms only to be caught eating cream of mushroom soup.” You carry on.
“I just didn’t like my dad’s mushroom risotto.” James pouts; caught.
“We’ve told all of our friends that they’re not allowed to bring up manatees around you because-”
“Why would they be so fucking cute if we’re not allowed to touch them!?” James hollers, causing each of you to snicker.
“-because you go stage-five ballistic.” Barty finishes with a flourish. James rips his feet away from him petulantly.
“Love,” you half-laugh, half-chide, “you asked what we know!”
“I just didn’t expect you to know so much!”
“Of course we know so much!” You laugh. “That’s our job, yeah?”
“Well,” James starts, coming up with an argument on the fly, “how come you two seem to know more about me than I do?”
Your face softens and you decide to pause your chopping in order to join James at the table. Barty, for his part, jumps up like this is a relay race and you’ve just handed him the baton, pecking a rough kiss to your head and winking at James before taking up your position.
“Bubs, I don’t think that’s a bad thing, yeah? I mean…taking care of myself has always felt like a chore, but getting to take care of you is one of my favourite things.” You explain as though it’s simple maths.
Barty makes a sound of agreement around a bite of raw carrot. “Things about me are sodding boring. Things about you two? That’s fuckin’ mint, that is.”
“I guess I do know a lot about you guys as well.” James muses, noticing the two of you begin nodding in agreement. He jumps on it.
“Like how-”
“No. No, no. We don’t need to hear about any of that.” Barty says as he waves the – very large – knife in his direction whilst you squeeze his hand warningly.
“Don’t worry, Jamie.” You placate. “We believe you.”
☃️ come cuddle you know you want to, DarkSun or MoonWater, they're my two fav more unconventional ships and you write them so well!
awe, thanks darling!! <3
the winter games
poly!darksun x fem!reader who definitely wants to cuddle with them [377 words]
CW: swearing [obviously]
“Babe!” Barty shouted nearly right in James’ ear, though neither of them bothered to get up and move from their current position to search for you. “Oi! Babe!!”
“Would you quit sodding shouting?” You grumbled as you walked into the living room; a mug of cocoa in both hands, one for each of the boys.
“You’re gonna miss the best part, Tres.” Barty explained absently, eyes glued to the screen as he accepted his drink.
“Thank you, angel.” James delighted, taking the mug from you before stealing your then-empty hand to press a quick kiss to it. “Are you going to join us?”
You rolled your eyes and sighed like it was a huge inconvenience, but James could see the ghost of a smile dancing across your lips.
“I guess I could sit for a little bit.”
Barty cheered and James pressed another kiss to your fingers before letting you go. You returned a few moments later with your own mug of cocoa, but - to James’ absolute horror - opted to sit in the chair instead of on the sofa with your two boyfriends.
“Oi!” Barty barked chidingly, causing you to raise a brow as you brought your mug to your lips. “What’s your angle?”
“My angle?” You parrotted.
“Was it really necessary to sit in a different postcode, angel?” James translated then, even though he was quite sure you knew what had your boyfriend’s shorts in a knot.
“Maybe I just wanted to enjoy my cocoa in peace; did you ever think about that?”
“Fuck that.” Barty argued quickly, sitting up to create a perfectly you-shaped space between him and James. “Get your fine arse over here.”
You hummed as if you were thinking about it, though James saw the mischief in your eyes. “Nope.”
“Treasure.”
“Barty.” You returned evenly.
“Come onnnn.” James offered, lifting his brows up and down salaciously. “Come cuddle with us.”
“You know you want to.” Barty sing-songed, and James watched any pretense of aloofness on your part vanished as you stood with a laugh and placed yourself snuggly between the two boys.
“There’s our girl.” James murmured into your cheek before stamping it with a kiss.
“Not going to cuddle with us.” Barty snorted from your other side. “You’re so funny, Tres.”
