Author Notes: Did you miss me? Cause I did miss my inconsistent posting. I expect this fanfic to be shorter than Sal Vindagnyr odds and ends, but I still have a lot of ideas to fit into it. Independently to this kind of work, I did have some inspiration for some headcanons I’d like to post on here.
Regarding my posting schedule, it won’t be regular, but I’ll try to not dawdle too much. My main objective is to write my master’s thesis, but if I really can’t think of anything intelligent, I still want to write and that’s when I turn to fanfics. That’s the best way I found to manage the academic anxiety and relativize my perceived inability to write.
Trigger Warning: None, I believe.
Character Profile - Prologue (You are here) - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6
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Prologue
3k words
Yae Miko calmly observed the emotions pass on the face of her protégé seated in front of her. Two cups of tea were separating them; the envelopping silence being only disturbed by the breeze and the bristle of the sakura tree leaves. After reading the Waterlogged Note, Ikkyū Naoya turned his attention to the Fatui's delusion factory hall notice. His eyes were jumping from word to word, his expression becoming even more bleak as the time passed.
**Waterlogged Note**
...If anyone leaks the team's secrets, they shall be held accountable...
Phase 1: Ambush the Shogunate soldiers on a rainy night using our long-studied tactics, switch outfits with them, and obtain their ship's supplies.
Phase 2: Attack and break Shogunate's [sic] wards according to the methods Mr. Nathan explained, and restore the dignity of our great Omikami.
Stage 3: If the plan does not go well, sacrifice yourselves for our mighty Omikami. If things go well, you may retreat safely. But in neither case can you reveal your identity, thus implicating our Divine Priestess...
The above information is to be kept strictly confidential. Not a word to anyone, whether it be Her Excellency the Divine Priestess or our lowest-ranking comrades. Those with loose lips will face the consequences.
**Delusion factory hall notice**
The situation of the Inazuman civil war is presently uncertain. The longer this conflict drags on, the more advantageous our position will be...
To deepen the resistance's reliance on Delusions, to fan the flames of war, and steel the resolve of the leadership on both sides to continue fighting...
I call upon all available comrades to assist the work of 2nd Naval Lieutenant Nathan in dashing Sangonomiya's hopes for a quick victory...
If there are any accidents, assist in 2nd Lieutenant Nathan's escape, and silence all who might reveal our infiltration into their ranks!
This mission is of vital importance to securing our supply of Delusions — not a single detail may be overlooked!
«And those were given to you by the traveler and Paimon after you saved them from the delusion factory?» Naoya confirmed.
«Yes, they were in their possession and they believed we should know what exactly transpired and why.» Yae precised.
The young kitsune was at a loss for words. How could a single Fatui be responsible for the death and illness of so many innocent civilians? He folded the two pieces of paper before putting them down on the table; empty gaze, while his thoughts were racing. Naoya then reached for his cup of sencha green tea and drank the last residual sip. After ordering his thoughts, he looked back at Yae trying to figure out why she chose to show those documents to him. Her purple eyes were indecipherable, not giving out an ounce of information on how she was currently feeling or what she was thinking. The younger kitsune held her gaze, waiting to see if she was going to speak first; all those years at her side had the benefit of leaving him impervious to her enigmatic aura.
«Are you showing me these because you want me to deal with him?» Naoya hypothesized.
The Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine chuckled before answering. «Are we a guild of assassins now? He is not for us to deal with, on the other hand we need to do something to strengthen our wards from ill-behaved people so such events can’t occur in the future.»
«What do you suggest?» Naoya asked.
Yae Miko explained to her protégé the course of action she believed would be the best to tackle those issues. Divided in three steps, she exposed her simple, yet effective plan. First, cleanse and restore the wards before concealing them into a barrier. Second, purge any remnants of the Tatarigami on the inhabitants of the island, even if they are treasure hoarders, Nobushis or Kairagis.
«Third, i’d hope you could find the sealed room containing a propagated cutting from the Primeval Sakura. You know about the Thunder Sakura branches in Kannazuka that are related to the Sacred Sakura itself. Well it is said the Primeval Sakura of the Violet Court used to have some twin branches in Yashiori Island.» Yae explained. «I know this last part is ambitious, but with your knowledge of purification rituals and spiritual acuteness you are the one person I can trust.» She continued.
Naoya contemplated what she just suggested. The two first steps wouldn’t be two hard, but the third one seemed far fetched. «And you don’t remember where that sealed room is supposed to be?» The younger kitsune inquired.
«Ikkyū Naoya! Are you trying to disrespect the Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine? No, I don't remember anything from before the great flood. I wasn't even born. I just heard stories passed down from the matriarch of all kitsune.» Yae explained.
«I read somewhere that our ancestors aren’t native to Narukami Island and that we had to fight the tanukis that were already living on the island.»
«Well the timeline isn’t exactly clear. if it was, it would make things much simpler to interpret and glimpse at the grand scheme of things.» Yae answered.
«Well I wasn’t expecting to have a field trip on Yashiori Island, but I guess that dealing with Orobaxi’s remains will be a great way to exercise, plus I'll have time to myself.» Naoya stated.
«I can’t believe you would think one second I, your magnanimous protector, would send you alone on such a perilous journey.» Yae jests. «After all, whether it was the Sacred Sakura cleansing ritual or Miyuki’s duty to regulate the thunder sakuras, we had the help of the traveler.»
«So he is coming with me then?»
«I believe the poor outlander deserves a little break. Consequently, I asked the Yashiro Commission for assistance.» Yae paused, waiting for a reaction on Naoya’s part. Taking her time to read his heart, which she can do as if it was a mere fortune slip. «I’m sure Ayato will be happy to see his favourite Kitsune envoy.» Yae quips.
«They already know down there?» Naoya asked with a small voice.
«Yes, they will be waiting for you and they’ll give the full details on the expedition during supper. You should leave tomorrow morning.» Yae confirmed.
«When i return i’ll need a whole week just to recuperate, you better treat your loyal protégé to Aisa bathhouse. No, I'm not asking enough in regard to this profound betrayal. I deserve a stay at the Royal Hot Spring of the Kanjou commission.» The kitsune brooded.
«Oh Naoya, don’t fret. Wouldn’t you be happy to rekindle your precious childhood friendship?»
«What is that supposed to mean?» Naoya asked, outraged by the way he was being mocked.
«Keep this omamori with you, although i truly believe you are quite capable in this field of expertise i want you to come back to me in one piece.» Yae warmly added. She paused to look at a white cloud that had concealed the sun, her expression becoming aggravated knowing she had one last warning to dispense to her pupil. «This will represent a trial by fire, Naoya. This current endeavour will let you know if you can use your condition to your own advantage and triumph or if the filth will claim you.»
Naoya nodded and seemed to hesitate for one second before hugging Yae. He bid his goodbye to his mentor and excused himself to his room to pack his bag. He mechanically added tools, provisions and clothes to his travel bag. However, the kitsune’s brows were knitted into a worried frown. The thought of having to interact with his childhood friend after such a lapse of time seemed exhausting. Emotions he thought he had dealt with a long time ago, bubbled up into a lump in his throat, reminding him of the complex web of feelings he bore towards the eldest sibling of the Kamisato Clan.
After packing his luggage and grabbing his prized red long sword, Naoya left his room and found himself in front of the row of red Torii gate staring into empty space while gathering his courage. The kitsune resigned himself and hopped atop the first Torii gate and initiated his descent; sometimes jumping from gate to gate, other times using the granum residing in the thunder sakura boughs.
The yōkai reached ground level, the Kamisato estate in a straight line in front of him. His feet drove him to the entrance to the large estate following the familiar path.
«Ah Ikkyū-san, long time no see.» Hirotatsu greeted him. «You’ve become tall and strong, we should test out if your appearance matches your strength in the future.»
«A long time indeed. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be a match to you Hirotatsu-san, I lack the discipline of a dignified samurai like yourself. Do you know where I can find the commissioner?» Naoya asked.
«Kamisato-sama is already waiting for you indoors. He sent his little Hachikō to welcome you.» The Yashiro Commission Representative answered, pointing evasively inside the gate.
The kitsune was unsure what the samurai meant, but thanked him nonetheless before entering the estate. The surroundings were identical to his memories, a neat garden, familiar faces and the same bucolic atmosphere.
«You must be Ikkyū-sama. You are right on time for supper.» Naoya turned around to see the tall slender person who addressed him. The kitsune smiled to himself, his interlocutor was indeed akin to a loyal dog with his headband and genuine expression. He supposed that in Hirotatsu’s mouth being called Hachikō wasn’t a compliment per se, but Naoya saw it in a positive light.
«Affirmative! I remember we briefly crossed paths before I left for Liyue, but I’m afraid I don’t know your name.»
«I’m surprised you even remember me, I was only recently in Inazuma at the time. I’m Thoma, housekeeper of the Kamisato Clan.»
«Delighted to make your acquaintance Thoma.» The kitsune uttered as he bent into a partial bow. Unbeknown to the yōkai, his normally prick fox ears flopped forward adorably, almost killing Thoma at the sight.
«The-the pleasure is all mind.» Thoma stammered, raising his hands as if to capitulate. He turned around to hide his infatuation; «Please follow me Ikkyū-sama.»
«I just have one request before we go.» Mc stated, making Thoma turn around, an inquisitive look nested in his green eyes.
«Call me Naoya, I’m not a fan of hierarchy. After all, you should see me as an equal since I could be called the Housekeeper of the Grand Narukami shrine.» Mc completed.
«Duly noted Naoya.»
The kitsune was ushered into the kamisato main building. Thoma led him to the room that was prepared for his stay overnight.
«You can leave your luggage here. I believe you will be able to make your way to the dining room, once it’s done.» Thoma stated.
«Yes I remember. Thank you for the warm welcome. It’s really appreciated» Naoya assured.
Thoma seemed to perk up at the compliment and closed the sliding door to give his guest some privacy.
The housekeeper took a moment to regain his composure. He did catch sight of the kitsune previously, but he wasn’t prepared for how forthright and unfeigned Naoya was. When there were cultural events, he could be seen aiding Yae Miko, but always looked stiff and forced around Kamisato Ayato. Despite this previous image of his guest, Thoma couldn’t help himself, but to think that the kitsune should be of enjoyable company and was very easy on the eye, not that it mattered in any shape or form.
On the other side of the door, Naoya paused for a moment. Maybe being at the Kamisato estate wasn’t so bad if the reliableThoma was by his side. He dropped his bag, but still hung on to his red sword. Although he could make his way to the kitchen with his eyes closed, the appetizing smell also guided him to the dining room.
Turning around the corner he was greeted by Ayaka and Thoma. The kitsune left his sword reclined against the wall behind him and sat beside Thoma, leaving the other spot beside Ayaka empty for her brother.
«It’s so nice to see you again Naoya. It’s been too long.» Ayaka stated.
«It really is, but with all of our duties, it’s been difficult to clear our schedule as we used to. Well we didn’t have as rigid schedules back then.» Naoya answered.
«You are right, but it would be amazing if you could hold a tea ceremony at the Komore Teahouse. You are so talented and I miss attending such events.»
«We can see what can be done once we return. Maybe you can lend me a Ikebana piece to decorate.» The vulpine expert evasively stated.
They exchanged other pleasantries, reminiscing on their childhood as Thoma served some Miso soup for the three of them. Naoya turned his attention to the bowl in front of him and noticed the attention to details of the chef, herbs stylishly placed and a carrot carved into the shape of a flower, perhaps to evoke the Kamisato clan’s flower, the camellia.
«Wow, it looks so delicious that I almost feel guilty that I’m about to eat it.» Naoya complimented.
«You shouldn’t, I just wanted to make something special for this occasion.» Thoma claimed with a smile as warm as the sun.
«I’ll make sure to enjoy it then.» The kitsune answered, his words suspended in the air.
«Ikkyū-, hum Naoya, is there anything troubling you? I’ve noticed you brought your sword here and wondered if I could do anything to accomodate you.» Thoma expressed.
Naoya chuckled before explaining. «You see, it’s only a wooden sword; it cannot cut. In a way, the officials that run rampant in this nation are like my wooden sword here—handsome fakes that are utterly useless in a crunch.» (1) «So by bringing this sword everywhere I go, I entail that my behaviour isn’t any stranger than that of such authority figures.»
Before Thoma and Ayaka had time to recover from this declaration, a voice came from behind the kitsune. «May I be so bold to assume that your acerbic criticism is proof of your good health and high spirit Ikkyū-san?»
Naoya appraised the comment before his reprisal. «Correlating my wellness with my critical thinking is an interesting take, Kamisato-sama, but I’m afraid I’ll hold onto such opprobrium even on my deathbed.»
«I wouldn’t want it any other way.» Ayato capitulated for now. «I’m glad we have this opportunity to work together as before.»
An attendant entered with the full course meals, everyone having one specifically picked for their taste. Before Naoya was a plate of sundry sushi rolls with a side of fried tofu. The kitsune looked surprised and Ayato confirmed he requested this exact meal based on what the yōkai liked to eat as a kid.
Naoya softened ever so slightly, he couldn’t deny Ayato had always been attentive to his tastes. For good measure he still continued to play mind games with the commissioner, he wouldn’t let him have the last word, especially regarding his political affiliation. The four of them talked lightly as they finished their meal. They then talked more specifically about their expedition. Ayaka was to stay at the estate to deal with the usual matters of the Yashiro commission and appear at events. It was decided Ayato would personally take part in the expedition much to Naoya’s surprise. The kitsune didn’t expect he would have to spend so much time with his childhood best friend. The only redeeming aspect of the situation was that the reliable Thoma would complete the task team.
Back in his room, Naoya was chasing sleep; understanding the importance of his assignment, but also having second thoughts about being accompanied by the commissioner. He always had been aware of the feelings he harboured for Ayato. He simply decided to not act on them, not wanting to muddy the waters of their relationship. And now the distance created between the two rendered those feelings inconsequential. He would just need to be guarded and everything would be fine. Right?
****
Thoma didn’t exactly know how to proceed as he was gazing at the kitsune’s form below him. He knelt down and gently nudged Naoya's shoulder. The latter snapped out of his slumber, looking disoriented. As he looked obliviously at the housekeeper his expression changed into a sheepish one; assuming he must have overslept.
«I apologize, I’m not very presentable at the moment.» Mc mumbled.
«It’s ok to have difficulties getting some sleep before something important. I understand.» Thoma comforted
The kitsune sat on his futon mattress and tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes.
Thoma smiled at the gesture, Naoya continued to surprise him, passing from a stern political agitator last night to an endearing sleep deprived fox this morning.
«We are leaving in 15 minutes. Is there anything I can do to improve your morning?» Thoma inquired.
Mc let out an impressive yawn that made his eyes watered and pushed his hands towards the ceiling in an attempt to stretch himself awake. He then looked back at Thoma with a soft smile on his lips. «What was your question already? You want to know how to improve my morning?» Naoya asked.
Thoma blushed at the implications of the initial formulation of his solicitation. The housekeeper moved back, now hyper-aware of his proximity with the kitsune, an undisclosed innuendo incapacitating his brain.
«Hum, no, everything is fine, but I feel like I'm imposing too much on your hospitality.»
«Not at all, we invited you here, making sure you are ok is the least I can do.»
«You are so kind the people in your life are lucky to have you by their side. I’ll make sure to return the favour during the expedition.» Mc added. «I’ll dress up and I’ll be ready.»
«Great, we will be in the courtyard.» Thoma specified before exiting the room promptly. It’s not that he never receives compliments, but there is something in the way that Naoya says them that makes Thoma feel special.
Hi folx, I’m glad I’m able to update although it’s a little later than usual. The last scene from this chapter was inspired by the song Heat Lightning by Mitsiki. Since I wasn’t sure you liked the way I made that one scene relate to a song in the last chapter of my Sal Vindagnyr fanfic, I decided to just leave the link in the author notes. I’m hoping the song makes the ones that will listen to it feel comforted that we can share similar feelings although we are living different situations.
On a personal note, the way the song builds up to be nothing but anticlimactic, highlighting the way Mitsiki says she gives up/surrenders, really hit home and I just appreciate how it displays the tiredness of fixating on a situation we can’t change.
Ayato, Thoma and Naoya departed for their Yashiori island expedition in the morning, right after the latter got ready hurriedly after oversleeping. Thoma was able to foresee the possibility of this kind of complications and prepared extra onigiris to avoid anyone leaving the Kamisato estate on an empty stomach. Naoya exalted his diligence to the point the housekeeper was beginning to think he was being teased. He was nonetheless reassured when he heard the kitsune greedily engulf several onigiris, commenting on their consistency, stickiness and taste like some qualified taster. Thoma understood that Naoya was always vocal about the things he liked and would share his thoughts in a lot of details.
On their way to Hanamizaka, the kitsune completed his breakfast with yellow berries he picked along the way. He offered some to Thoma to repay him for his amiability, even offering to feed him directly which made Thoma feel a tad bashful, even though he didn’t have the heart to say no. Ayato remained silent observing the kitsune without interacting. At first the commissioner was apprehensive his childhood best friend would have kept a wall around him like it was the case for the past several months, meaning the expedition would have been reduced to cold stares and silences. Because of these apprehensions, he actually had a lot of trouble finding sleep the night prior, resulting in him feeling tired and easily annoyed. Even after last night's ideological debates, Naoya seemed to want to put his best foot forward, but he didn’t have to act so brightly this early in the morning. Watching the person that once was closest to him eagerly insist for Thoma to taste the ‘oh remarkably sweet berries’ made his heart pang. Ayato brushed it off pesting mentally about how childish the man could be, acting oblivious to how Thoma was reacting to his antics. In the end, maybe the silence would have been better, either way he wouldn’t voice any of the grudges he held against the kitsune.
After reaching Hanamizaka the trio met with a seafarer who agreed to make them cross the body of water separating them from Kannazuka. The water was calm and the sailing went smoothly. They were seated in a way to distribute the weight equally, with Naoya in the middle and Ayato and Thoma seated in front of him; the seafarer staying at the back to maneuver the rowboat. The capillary waves weren’t strong enough to bother the ones used to navigate, but it was enough for Thoma to feel uneasy. Each time the craft would sway a little too much for the taste of the Mondstadt-born man, Ayato reassuringly tightened his hold around the housekeeper’s waist to better keep him steady.
While Ayato was inside the main building of the encampment, Naoya was starting to get the increased attention from the soldiers that were on duty around the camp, chatting amongst themselves while staring brazenly at the man. The kitsune knew the political pamphlets he wrote for the Yae’s publishing house were often denounced as being treacherous towards the Bakufu and shogunate soldiers probably didn’t appreciate his critical opinions nor ‘out of the box’ reflections.
After passing between Akame Island and the violet court island they soon reached the other shore. The trio thanked the seafarer and made their way to the Kujou encampment while Naoya berated the actions of the Kujou clan and their role in the war that had put Inazuma to fire and sword. Ayato had to meet with Kujou Masahito, the General of the Shogun's Army and the eldest son of the Kujou clan, but didn’t intend to drag on the administrative courtesy meeting. The sun was already high in the sky and he wanted to make haste. The harsh sunlight seemed to put the commissioner in an even worse mood, making him acutely feeling the light sensitivity induced by lack of sleep.
Even though the kitsune rarely shied away from arguments, he didn’t want to put Ayato in a tight spot. After all, they were going to be together for a long time so he should bide his time and hold his tongue, just for that and nothing more. Why would he have any ulterior motive? He decided to head to the northern shore of the islet to inspect one of the five thunder sakuras. Satisfied by its recovering state, he then sat in front of it and started to meditate as he would do in front of the Sacred Sakura. Thoma stayed beside, patiently waiting for Ayato’s meeting to be over. At some point they decided to eat some remaining snacks prepared by Thoma, namely some dangos, as the afternoon was fleeting away.
Thinking about the incoming supper, Naoya bestired himself and took the decision of going fishing so they at least had sustenance for the night. Thoma cheered him on from the sand bank, amazed by how the kitsune adroitly caught some unsuspecting basses with his bare hands.
Once the sun began to set and painted the scarce clouds in pastel colours, Ayato found his way to their alfresco waiting area. Ayato looked utterly exhausted, thanked the pair for their patience and mumbled something about them being able to pass the night in an abandoned fisherman cabin, located between their current position and the pyro hypostasis.
Once they reached the shelter, Thoma busied himself and cooked the fresh catches into a simple fish soup and added vegetables he was able to gather from crates and the unkept garden beside the cabin. Naoya gathered the wood used to make a fire and tied together thin straw to make three makeshift futons so they wouldn’t have to sleep directly on the floor. Ayato set the table and sat himself staring vacantly into the space in front of him, one of his eyes twitching obnoxiously.
The commissioner thought back about his meeting and how he had to extensively relay news about the Kujou clan and their brittle standing in the city. The general of the shogun army also picked his brain on a plethora of subjects since he was left stationed in the encampment for such a long time without proper strategic resources, namely the escalating conflicts with Kairagis and Vagrants. What was supposed to be a simple formality became a full on brainstorming and counseling session. At least he also got a lot of information regarding the fatui activity around these parts. All in all, the eldest Kamisato sibling was washed out and only wanted for the day to be over. The stress accumulated from before the expedition decided to catch up to him and add to his mental load to the point the noises emitted by Thoma cooking and the incessant shuffling of Naoya made him want to leave the room to find more peace and quiet.
Once he finished setting up the straw mattresses, the kitsune joined his childhood best friend at the table and sent him a small smile which was half reciprocated by Ayato. The blue haired man massaged his temples in a futile attempt to make his headache go away. In that moment Naoya truly felt the distance that had settled in between them, not knowing how to show his support to the currently unknown person sitting in front of him.
Naoya reached out to his former friend and patted his forearm to show a sense of sympathy. As if he was burnt by the contact, Ayato jerked back, dodging the affection of the yōkai.
«Is there something wrong?»
«I would say I’m sorry Ikkyū-san, but I don’t have it in me to pretend. I need to be alone.» Ayato uttered before leaving for the smaller room of the cabin - the only closed space contrasting with the open-aired kitchen and living room.
Naoya was left motionless on his seat, taken aback by his former friend's words that highlighted the distance between the two of them. The kitsune was also confounded by the look on Ayato’s face, fiery emotions oozing out of him, spilling out through his eyes unrestrained. Ache, sorrow and disappointment, was there anything more?
Under his facade, Ayato was hiding the same pain he shared with his former best friend. The pain that can only come from a deep feeling of deception and betrayal, of remorse and bitterness at the way things ended years ago. The grief of losing a friend, a confidant, the person that was closest to each other. However, even in that moment it seemed the two of them were blinded to the pain of the other, two distinct narratives of what had happened in their heads.
Thoma placidly put down a first bowl of soup in front of the kitsune and brought the second one to Ayato in the other room before taking the third bowl for himself. They all ate in silence, the more appropriate option for the moment since emotions were running high.
After he ate in silence absorbed by his own thoughts, Naoya left the cabin and climbed on its top to gather his thoughts.The night had already fallen once he got outside, the sea breeze blowing on his face contrasted with the warmer humid air of the cabin. In the distance hypnotic white horses were created by the water atop of the regular waves. The onshore wind made the waves even stronger, sometimes making the sea spray reach the fishing nets scattered in front of the cabin.
After a little while Thoma joined him on the roof and silently sat beside him. If it wasn’t for the motion of the wave, Naoya could have believed time was suspended. The wind subsided after one last hazu gust and Thoma took that moment to share his words first.
«You know, it’s probably nothing against you, Ayato-san just seems tired.» Thoma tried to cheer the kitsune.
Naoya let the words sink in, looking straight in front of him, lost in the distance. The wind had cleared the air from the day’s humidity and increased the atmospheric visibility in such a way he was now able to discern the heat lightning that sporadically shone over the dark water. Despite being impressed by the way it was running on the horizon, the light filaments were a bitter reminder of the Sakoku decree. After all, heat lightning was merely lightning too far away to make it possible to hear the thunder, maybe Naoya preferred it that way.
The kitsune felt tension building in his stomach, somehow feeling inclined to let his emotions spill in front of Thoma and explain in so many words how he felt when he left for Liyue that time; how all this related to the current predicament. At the last second, the kitsune revised himself and let go of all his previous anxious thoughts, surrendering them to the waves so they could be washed away.
«I don’t know if I believe those words, but thank you for wanting to comfort me. I appreciate it. Actually, I'm really grateful we can get to know each other during this trip.» Naoya confessed with a little chuckle punctuating his sentence. «For the rest, it’s all come and gone, I just have to give up on it.»
«Would you like to talk about it or would you prefer we talk about something else?» Thoma inquired.
«How about you tell me more about yourself, what led you to the Kamisato estate in the first place?»
Name: Ikkyu Naoya; I decided to shed away from the generic "Mc". I still consider this fanfic to be on the cusp of 'x male reader'. It's your choice if you want to project onto him or not as a reader.
Same age as Ayato
Kitsune - Affiliated with the Grand Narukani Shrine. Occupy the valet position - divine attendant of Lady Guuji Yae Miko, concretely low-ranking functionary of shrine, entrusted with miscellaneous duties.
Writes political pamphlets for Yae Publishing House.
Speciality dishes: Fried tofu, Sakura Shrimp Crackers and Katsu Sandwiches.
Went to Liyue to study Guhua martial arts - the trip was arranged between Yae and Ganyu. He became acquainted with Kuki Shinobu there.
Carries a super long red wooden sword, but changes stance with a thurible (turibulum) and his Hoshi no tama (star ball) when he needs to exorcize spirits. He doesn’t have a vision.
Appearance: Prick ears (more like Gorou than the way Yae Miko makes her ears flow with the movement of her hair). Cordovan hair (dark red). As tall as Thoma and Ayato. Wears a deconstructed and modernized style of inazuman fashion.
I drew inspiration from four archetypes for this oc:
-Ikkyū Sōjun, an interesting Shinto monk;
-Natsume Yuujinchou for the exorcism aspect of the serie (I will forever recommend this anime, it’s one of my comfort series I always go back to when needed);
-Tonbokiri from Touken Ranbu for his physical appearances, although I headcanon him on the more burly/husky side - in opposition to the more slender Thoma and Ayato and the more muscular Itto (I don't wanna say ✨dad bod✨ but like the general rule is that my OCs don't fall under the unrealistic beauty standards).
-The Undercover Fall 2020 fashion show for his clothes because of the clear japanese feudal inspiration behind the runway theme;
Author Note: At this point I had to finish this chapter or the chapter would have finished me. So. Much. Dialogues. It really made me doubt if I, myself, know what dialogues are.
Also I had a fever a week ago and somehow I made some spicy lemon grade smut (Ayato x Male reader x Thoma) and I was wondering if it would be apropos to make it a stand alone more or less connecting to this fic. I wrote it using Y/N instead of using my OC Naoya and I'm unsure what yall would prefer between the two. You can tell me via direct messages, asks or the reaction bubble on this post - doing so will grant the VIP access and I might be more inclined to take recommandations (I'm half serious at this point, but don't be scare to reach out, constructive criticism are always welcome).
Thoma and Naoya were on their way back after investigating an adventurer campsite at the very North West of Yashiori island - where the tip of Orobashi’s tail pointed out of the water. They found some trinkets and artifacts under the tent, but more importantly some ragged notes with plans depicting a lower level to the above-water ruins of Fort Mumei. This time, Naoya had clearly felt an ancient energy emanating from within the stone structures. Maybe there was more to the location than meets the eye.
«So yeah, looking at Fort Mumei still felt eerie, but I’m pretty sure there is something more than just that feeling. Combined with the fact that I fainted the first time we went there, it’s safe to assume we will need to go back and investigate the site more thoroughly.» Naoya commented.
«There is really something about that place.» Thoma agreed.
«After all, it’s not called Fort Mumei for nothing; if we take into account that its name translates to Fort of ignorance it almost taunts us. Anyway having you by my side this time around was really pleasant. All week I’ve been investigating that Jakotsu Mine so I’m glad we were able to visit a place where the sky is visible letting the sun rays reach our skin.» Naoya stated.
«Yes, it also felt good to spend time outside after being shut in for so long. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come with you when you explored Jakotsu mine. By the way, do we know why Fort Mumei was built initially?
«Don’t apologize for the time you needed to recover from your illness, Thoma-chi. To answer your question, I read in the Narukami Shrines archives that long ago it was possible to cross all of Inazuma on foot. Something about the level of the water and a long distance highway that made for impressive infrastructures. The author of the documents posited that the ruins of Araumi and Fort Mumei are examples of such a nationwide network.»
«So it would have been possible to go on vacation to Watatsumi island by foot?» Thoma asked, seemingly excited at the possibilities it would entail.
«Hum, I don’t think it was possible since the roads must have predated the creation of the island of Watatsumi.» Naoya answered.
«So no vacation without taking a damn boat, uh.» Thoma summarized with a smidge of dejection as he looked at the maple leaves over him signaling that they would soon reach their base.
«No, but we can still go on vacation In Watatsumi with a bigger, safer boat! Didn’t you mention a crew that made it past the Thunderstorm barrier of the Sakoku Decree? We should ask them to take us. Well only if you want.»
«Captain Beidou and the fleet of the Crux are amazing! Maybe they are a good starting point. However we shouldn’t restrict ourselves to only Inazuma! They could bring us to Dornman port in Mondstadt and then I could show you around.» Thoma got more and more enthusiastic at the thought of visiting his home nation accompanied by the kitsune.
«I would like that…» Naoya mustered tentatively, embarrassed of how gushy he felt at the idea of some tacit long term plan he would share with the housekeeper.
However, the emotion was short-lived as their home base came into view. It wasn’t the building that made a glower appear on the kitsune’s face, it was the result of noticing a certain slender form right beside the old abandoned house.
Naoya swiftly changed his course and half shouted to Thoma: «I’m just going to freshen up by the river and I’ll meet you back at the house. It will take me 5 minutes, top.»
Thoma didn’t have an opportunity to answer anything before Naoya was out of earreach, long strides hastily bringing him in the opposite direction of the housekeeper’s position. Turning his back on the Kitsune, Thoma then noticed that Ayato was waiting for him. The housekeeper picked up some speed and followed the trail until he could greet him.
After exchanging formalities and enquiring about their respective last few days, Ayato stated he did come back, but only to end the expedition and bring everyone back to Narukami island. Although he understood where Ayato was coming from, Thoma felt the decision wasn’t made impartially.
«Ayato-san, I’m just telling you that it’s a bit unfair and that he probably won’t like you to come back here just to tell us the expedition is over. There is no reason for you to act that way without discussing the issue first.»
«Thoma, why are you taking his side? We already completed the ⅔ of this expedition and since you didn’t make any progress, we are cancelling the rest of the expedition. That’s all there is to it.»
«How about you cut some slack to Thoma and instead tell me why you made such an arbitrary decision?» Naoya’s voice was heard as soon as he opened the door, making a gust of wind rush inside. The kitsune knew storming in wasn’t his best course of action, but the tension that lingered after Ayato left for Narukami made it easy to overreact.
«Listening behind closed doors to get the right timing before making an entrance? No ‘Hello’ or ‘How have you been?’ you prefer jumping right into it. Always so dramatic Naoya.» Ayato sneered down at the kitsune.
«Sure that’s your point of view. Thoma you can tell him why we won’t be leaving if I'm too dramatic for Ayato’s taste.» Naoya smuggly taunted back, crossing his arms on his chest with an air of defiance.
Before Thoma was able to utter a single word, Ayato raised his voice with an unexpected vehemence. «Don’t bring him into that.»
«Why? Because you think he wouldn’t agree with you?» Naoya provoked some more.
«Stop trying to get in between him and me, you are just a hindrance to our work relationship.»
«Oh a ‘work relationship’, that is so ludicrous. You couldn’t even say friendship?» Naoya snapped back, rolling his eyes.
«Just say it. You tried to get close with Thoma only to get at me.»
«I think Thoma is a great companion and I would like to know him better. On the other hand, I'm not sure how I feel about you wanting to control his life and thinking people would only want to forge a bond with him to get at you, mister Head of the Kamisato clan. That is some bullshit right here.»
«You both know I'm just beside you, right?» Thoma tried to intervene, growing more and more exasperated with their shenanigans, especially since they didn’t mind using him to get at each other.
«Control his life? I'm just worried for him, you never spoke to him at any of the events you attended since you were back and I know you can be so insincere and deceiving when you want it. What if you suddenly decide that you don't want to talk with him for 3 years and act like strangers after that?»
«How dare you! Of course mister Kamisato, the oh so important Yashiro Commissioner, expects people to stay just as they are and keep their role in his pretty little life, because it is so much more important than anything else. What if you don't have your dose of charming personnel from Mondstat every day? Will you throw a hissy fit?»
«You have some nerves to patronize me like that. In opposition to your distasteful self-indulgent behaviours, I know Thoma would never leave without any last words. I can put my trust in him.»
«Stop putting so much pressure on him. That’s unbelievable. He is not there for your convenience. However, your figure of speech reveals a lot about your inner desires. Naughty Ayato thinks about "putting in" and "thrusting" when it comes to his personal staff. Why don't you say you just want to fuck him already.»
«You bastard.» Ayato grunted at half-voice, the sound escaping his throat resembling more the threatening sound of a torrent than his usual composed tone.
«Maybe I am a bastard; I was raised by the shrine maidens and never knew my parents. How does it make you feel that such a low born person is in your presence.»
«You are so deranged, all that meditation messed up your brain. You always find a way to cross the line when it comes to me.»
«ENOUGH. That's all you've done during this trip. Making things about me when in reality you are still two teenagers that aren't fucking able to communicate with each other or deal with their own emotions.»
Ayato turned around and looked in disbelief at Thoma. Even though the housekeeper doesn’t raise his voice often, he can project an incredible assertive aura.
«What is it, Ayato? You can't stand when something doesn't go like you planned? Close your gaping mouth and get over yourself.» Naoya nagged from behind Thoma, even pulling his tongue at Ayato adding another layer of pettiness.
«Oh and don't even start Naoya. Did you think you could have the milk, the butter in addition to fucking the milkman? You think you can act as you did just now and it will bear no consequences whatsoever? And back then, you left for Liyue and expected that everybody in Inazuma would hold their breath until you got back. Guess what? Ayato is the Head of the Yashiro Commission and he has a successful life because he is good at it and made many sacrifices along the way.» Thoma paused, catching his breath and glared down at the other two men as if he was their parent scolding them.
«The lack of respect you two just exhibited is not warranted. The way you objectified me isn’t something you do to someone you care about. I can't deal with your bad vibes anymore. Don’t wait for me, and focus on listening to each other.» Thoma exclaimed before storming off.
As the door slammed shut, Naoya just stood there, head lowered looking at the ground. The kitsune felt really small, he didn’t exactly know how to name the emotions he was feeling but shame had to be part of them. Did it really take Thoma for him to catch up on how he was acting, wasn’t he able to catch himself before going too far?
«Oh so now you're silent. I wish it happened sooner so it wouldn’t have come to this.» Ayato stated bitterly.
«Shut up. Stop blaming everything on me. We were both arguing if I remember correctly.» Naoya retorted in a more even tone than before.
«Tsk.» A simple click of tongue on Ayato’s part was enough to reignite the embers of the kitsune’s emotions.
Naoya abruptly turned around, closing the distance between them and grabbed Ayato’s collar. The kitsune raised his lowered head to meet with Ayato’s eyes. In the closeness of their position, Ayato was shocked to see some tears rolling down the kitsune’s cheek. Usually the latter would have hidden them at all cost; in spite of his pride he unveiled them, showcasing the vulnerability of the moment. «What do you want from me?» The glint in Naoya’s eyes let out more hurt than anger at this point.
Ayato moved back instinctively in an attempt to free himself from the kitsune’s hold. «Don’t touch me.»
«Just answer me. What do you want now? Do you want to have the last word or what? Be my guest, just say something.» At each sentence spilling out of Naoya’s mouth he shaked his former best friend back and forth like a child would shale a rag doll.
«Unhand me and control yourself.» Ayato spitted out before struggling against the Kitsune’s hold. As his previous attempts to free himself didn’t succeed, Ayato firmly pushed against Naoya’s chest which resulted in Naoya losing his balance and toggling backwards, while still bringing Ayato into his fall.
They heavily crashed on the wooden floor, Ayato hastily raised himself partly on his arm, Naoya trapped under him. They were close, Ayato could see many thoughts stir inside of the kitsune’s eyes.
«Let me go.» Naoya said without conviction.
«You asked me what I want from you. Just tell me how you feel and what you think, like before.» Ayato said as he maintained eye contact with the other. The fact he was resting against the kitsune also meant their bodies were the closest they had been in years, but nothing felt familiar at first. Ayato didn’t want to be this close, however it was an unexpected opportune way to pin his former best friend in place. It was uncomfortable, Naoya’s breathing was annoying, he didn’t know where to put his long limbs or where to land his stare other than looking at Naoya under him. Their position galled Ayato’s skin, but what irritated him the most was that he liked being able to touch the other after so much time. A proof the kitsune was tangible and not a figment of his imagination. The commissioner had replayed many of their last moments in his head in search of some details that would explain why his friend left like he did. They never said goodbye and neither did they exchange greetings when Naoya made it back to Narukami. So in a way, it was as if Naoya never stopped to be a quiet and acrimonious contemplation. And so it felt weird this was the first time their bodies were so close after all these years.
«I don’t want to. What’s the point if we haven’t reconnected thus far? It’s not like before.» Naoya answered while trying to look indiferent.
«You idiot, that’s the sunk cost fallacy. It’s still worth it. Just talk to me.» Ayato fired back.
Ayato had managed to earn a snicker out of Naoya. «Why though, didn’t I make you mad enough?»
«I might be mad, but I still care about you.»
Naoya looked up at Ayato and wondered if it was too late to make amends. «Are you sure? I think you prefer the version of me you have in your head. You were never satisfied with the real me.» Naoya attempted to jerk himself out of Ayato’s grasp but Ayato tightened his hold.
«Why are you so sure I can’t care about who you truly are.»
Naoya turned his head to look at the ceiling, remaining silent. The kitsune frowned and his ears flattened on his head. Ayato couldn’t tell what he was thinking but it seems his former best friend was reluctant to talk about their issues.
«How about I let you go before we have this conversation? But you can’t run away.» Ayato pleaded. Naoya nodded back, still looking somewhere slightly over the other. Ayato pushed himself to the side and freed the kitsune. Naoya raised himself on his elbows and retreated to the closest wall to put his back against the cold rugged surface.
«Nao-rin, tell me something, at least one. Stop trying to keep everything bottled up.»
Naoya twitched at the nickname and exhaled excessively. Ayato decided to remain seated a few meters away from the kitsune, regaining some patience after the heated argument. Naoya finally gave in and decided to try communicating his feelings. He had to be careful though, if he was going to do it, he needed to leave the pettiness behind.
«Let’s do this. I’m aware I have my own insecurities that I project onto you, but do I really have to be perfect all the time? I acknowledge them and work on them. Maybe now isn't the best moment to be worried about my self worth» Naoya began, unsure if he was petty or openning up.
«No. You don’t have to be perfect all the time, everyone has things they struggle with.»
«You know if we were better at communicating we wouldn’t have hurt Thoma in the crossfire.»
«I understand you want me to take part of the blame for not being able to communicate clearly. Correct?» Ayato questioned.
«No. Well, maybe. I just wanted to say it out loud.»
«I can’t object to this statement. However, let's deal with our problems and then we'll talk with Thoma.»
«I guess it’s now or never. If we don’t try to air our dirty laundry, I might not be able to sleep tonight anyway.» Naoya conceded.
Ayato smiled because of the mental gymnastics his former best friend was doing in order to be able to open up about his feelings. «I can start if it makes it easier. When it comes to you, I felt betrayed and I am resentful ever since you burned bridges with me. I don’t think I deserved this silent treatment. I was never able to figure out why you would leave like this without telling me. Did you do this to get back at me for hurting you in some way, or was our friendship meaningless to you.»
Naoya winced at the words, but instead of getting defensive, he accepted them and reflected on the feeling his former best friend tried to share with him. «During that time period I felt inadequate and lost. Inazuma wasn’t helping me understand what path I wanted to take.»
«But how does that relate to me? Why did I deserve for you to leave without saying anything.»
«I was trying to do what would be best for everyone.»
«Naoya I needed you. I lost you and then I lost my parents and everything was changing so fast. I didn’t know who my friends or enemies were.» Ayato explained, sorrow making his voice tremble a little. «People tried to destroy the Kamisato clan, my sister and I included and I had to hear from Toda (the shrine maiden acting as liaison between the Yashiro Commission and the Grand Narukami Shrine) that you had departed for Liyue.»
«I’m sorry for your loss. I guess I never took the opportunity to tell you, but I truly am. You shouldn’t have to live through that. Your parents were good people.» Naoya paused, wondering how to clearly explain how things were back then. «Aside from dealing with my inner struggle, I needed to understand our relationship better, I - I wanted to know if I was the person you described or if you just put a label on me so I could fit in your life.» Naoya searched for his words. «The timing wasn’t the best. At first I felt that I wasn’t enough to support you. I saw your righteous path before you and I got scared. Even with meditation I wasn’t able to be honest with myself, it seems like I was never thinking clearly. Were you asking too much of me? Were you taking advantage of me? I never had aspirations to gain influence, quite the opposite I wanted to work outside the system.» Naoya paused to breathe in. «Ayato, back then I didn’t have the answer, but now I can see I felt inadequate and at the same time you didn’t realize the expectations you had put on me. At some point I didn’t know if you were trying to change me and I know now it seemed so absurd. In a way I felt like some toy you had, not even my own person. And it hurt because I wanted to be seen and understood not just listened to.»
«But I didn't ask for you to be perfect, you didn’t have to be the answer to everything. I just wanted us to be there and stand together.»
Naoya sadly smiled. «I understand, but back then would you have wanted us to stand together even if it was in the dark? Were you ready to halt your projects for me? You never asked me to be perfect, but you never asked me to not be. With your actions, my inability to recognize I was putting tremendous pressure on myself, the shrine maidens that were giving me anxiety and the Bakufu and their flawed vision of inazuman people, I didn’t know who I was and if I was good enough. I felt like a liability and I was angry at you for it.»
Ayato took the words in. At first he was going to flatly negate everything, but thinking back about their past relationship he realized he could see what the kitsune meant. Ayato was sure of him and let the kitsune follow him behind. However, always following someone and trusting them could be difficult.
Naoya’s flow of words started once more and interrupted Ayato’s chain of thoughts. «Right now I feel guilty, and I feel so bad for not being able to be there at the time, but I also remember how hard it was for me to just do everyday tasks and having to trust the process. Maybe I should have stayed, maybe I made the right choice leaving, I honestly can’t tell.» The Kitsune let the words float in the air before concluding. «If i would do it again, I would take the time to tell you before leaving and actually send you the letters i wrote to you while abroad.»
«Wait, you wrote me letters?» Ayato asked, skeptical. «What were they about?»
Naoya smiled. «I did, the stack of letters was pretty impressive at some point. I wrote about me, how I felt, how I was striving for balance, how my master was such a good person, but oh so stern. She helped me in many ways and after a short while I was in a much better state. I wrote letters explaining myself and giving you cues on how to understand me. I also wrote about how I missed you.» The kitsune finished not bothering to hide those particular details.
«I’m glad you were able to find someone who could bring you that kind of support. I wished you would have sent those letters… Earlier you said that you had to reevaluate our relationship. What was that about, why was your mind clouded when it came to me?»
«Ayato, why are you such a good listener that you didn’t miss any details.» Naoya sighed. «Did you know you were the first kid my age I met? Of course we ended up making many friends when we met in the abandoned temple right in front of Mount Yougou. Before that, I was only with shrine maidens and Yae. They didn’t feel exactly like a family, but they were there for me. I didn’t get really close with Yae until I was older. They didn’t completely see me for who i was yet, they cared for me.»
Naoya was now lost in thoughts, but felt somewhat lighter after explaining everything so he kept going. «Regardless of what happened at the shrine, down the mountain a little adventurous and troublesome boy made me realize I missed the warmth of someone who looked forward to spending time with me. You were my best friend, my rival and an equal, someone who was able to follow me with my thoughts. You challenged me, showed me you cared for me, you talked, listened, felt, and even made plans about the future. It was scary, but it was also intoxicating to be with you. And then I had the thought it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. I convinced myself you had an ulterior motive.»
Naoya looked directly at Ayato and continued. «You represented so many things for me, but at some point it got confusing and I wanted to understand myself better first. And you know I meditate when I feel stuck.» The eldest Kamisato sibling let the kitsune articulate his thoughts, respectful yet eager. «Ayato, I-, I wanted to understand our relationship because my feelings got in the way of me thinking clearly. I hated that I didn’t know myself while you would be so whole and intact. Untouched and above the water while I was drowning in darkness. I don’t know, I’m sorry.»
«Why are you apologizing?» Ayato asked.
«I read once in old writings that laws regarding spiritual awakening stipulate one shouldn’t love someone in particular and regard humanity as all deserving of the same love, but in a way that love would also mean no earthly attachment-» Naoya stated in a monotone voice.
«Naoya, you are stalling. I want to know what YOU think of me.»
«Back then or now?»
«Now.»
«Those feelings don't scare me like they used to, but i think they are part of the reason I’m not able to properly interact with you. It got so complicated so fast and those feelings mostly hurt because I felt like I didn’t have the right to have them. Back then I missed the window opportunity to say my goodbyes and choose not to taint our memories. I guess writing those letters also helped me reach a certain closure.»
«That doesn’t answer my question, but maybe your letter will. May I read those letters when we get back?» Ayato asked with a sly smile.
«There is no chance of that happening.» Naoya blurted out with his ears quivering.
«Come on. You know I always liked your prose.»
«Stop it. Now it’s your turn to tell me how you feel.» Naoya asked, trying to get out of the tight spot he was in. He wasn’t about to confess a childhood crush after having a screaming match with the other person involved.
«I understand better now. The situation was complicated and we weren’t equipped to deal with it. I can see how my attitude made it seem like I was self absorbed, but truly it couldn’t be further from the truth. I would prefer if today was the last day of us not communicating properly and from tomorrow on, we won’t hide anything anymore. Is that something we can do?» Ayato established.
«That’s a given.» Naoya agreed.
«Great. Now tell me if those feelings of yours included love or not.» Ayato went in, taking no hostages.
Naoya jumped at the directness of the question and looked everywhere around them, fidgeting in place while his mind went blank. Of course Ayato would put him on the spot like that.
«Stop teasing me. We haven’t talked in years.» Naoya panicked.
«We are talking now. And you wrote me letters.»
«It’s not the same.»
«What kind of conversation would you like to hold?»
«It’s not that, I-. We were fighting minutes ago.»
«May I kiss you.» Ayato asked softly.
The kitsune’s body stifled, but the man’s words still brought Naoya's attention back to Ayato’s face. For a long time Naoya studied Ayato’s facial expression. Was he serious? That had to be the most unexpected course of action possible, which he didn’t anticipate.
«No. You aren’t thinking clearly.»
«But you still have feelings for me right? You talked like you still loved me. And I've loved you all this time, so what’s wrong? Never during the time we were apart did my negative thoughts outweigh the positive thoughts I harbored for you. I’ve wanted to do it for so long, and it was even harder during this expedition, but we weren’t able to understand each other. You can see this kiss as the promise of a new beginning without erasing what led us here.»
Naoya couldn’t understand how he had not self combust yet. «Not like this and not now. If you still feel like kissing me in a week, then maybe we may consider it. You can’t just expect me to be ok with a 180 like that.»
«Deal. Now allow me to give you a welcome back hug at least.» Ayato stood up and opened his arms.
«Welcome back from where? Your outing in Narukami?»
«Hey, I had important things to do with the Shumatsuban. You were too distant for my taste. I felt like you never returned from liyue and I was still waiting for you to come back into my life.» Ayato explained.
Naoya stood up as well and looked Ayato in the eyes before muttering a promise of his own. «I will work on what we have together and I won’t leave unless of some unforeseeable circumstances. If it was the case I commit myself to tell you 48 hours prior.»
«You better or it’s open season.» Ayato retorted, pulling Naoya against him tightly. Maybe this closeness was more familiar compared to the one of moments ago. Now they had explained themselves and there weren't any interferences left.
«I’m sorry for not being able to be here when you needed me and not coming to see you sooner.» Naoya apologized.
«I’m sorry that I wasn’t attentive to your needs and took you for granted.» Ayato answered.
After a moment of silence Naoya spoke again. «There is one last thing I need to tell you, but it can wait and I would prefer it if we waited for Thoma.»
****
The abandoned house was quiet. Ayato was crouched down over the table and had been asleep for some time now. Naoya was seated on the floor next to the door - pretty much where he was when he talked with Ayato, still thinking about the conversation they had. More importantly he was getting worried Thoma hadn’t come back yet. Maybe he should go see the amiable Kairagi next door to inquire if he had seen him.
Almost as if on cue, the kitsune heard regular footsteps in the distance getting closer and closer. Naoya straightened up and opened the door right away, his haste resulted in Ayato startling awake.
«Oh, you are awake.» Thoma commented plainly.
«I was getting worried, but wanted to give you some space.» Naoya explained, clasping his hands as he braced for Thoma’s possible anger. Ayato peaked from behind the kitsune’s shoulder.
«You didn’t have to worry I was with stray dogs from Higi Village and took them to the river. Did you sort things out?» Thoma asked, lassitude apparent in his tone.
«We-we did!» Naoya answered and turned around to look at Ayato who was nodding his head.
«Good.» Thoma said as he came face to face with Naoya. «Can you move from the doorway, I’d like to go to bed.»
Naoya didn’t know how to react, but complied and moved to the side to allow the venetian blonde to enter the abandoned house.
Thoma made a few steps before hearing a voice behind his back. «Thoma-chi, I’m so sorry. I apologize for what I said earlier. You didn’t deserve that.» Turning around he saw the kitsune kneeling down with his forehead touching the floor. Ayato took notice and was quick to bow in the same way. «We really appreciate you and we are sorry you had to be in the middle of us this whole time.» The commissioner added.
«Stand up. Both of you.» Thoma muttered.
Naoya and Ayato obliged, not knowing what to expect. Thoma menacingly walked toward them and stopped at arm length. He raised his hand and both men closed their eyes waiting for the impact. Thoma brought up his hand perpendicularly and proceeded to chop their heads with a light movement, nothing to hurt them.
«Seems like you did a lot of thinking. I’m glad to hear everything resolved itself.» Thoma said with a sweet smile only he could pull off. «Now let’s get to bed, shall we.»
****
In the early hours of morning, thunder and wind worked in concert to make sure that any sleep the three men could have wouldn’t be of top grade quality. After being woken up one two many times, the trio settled for an early breakfast prepared by Ayao and Naoya who still felt a little guilty for letting their quarrel get to Thoma. The latter enjoyed the act of kindness and was grateful to see his two boys working together for once. The menu consisted of some grilled lavender melons, omelette rice and some dango milk Ayato had brought back with him yesterday.
After most of their plates were emptied, Naoya decided to tackle the last thing on his list of things he wanted to resolve with the boys.
«So.» Naoya hesitated, breaking the silence. «There is one last thing we kinda need to talk about.»
«Yes Naoya, we can finish the expedition like you wished, but don’t be smug about it.» Ayato stated before taking a long sip of dango milk; it even seemed like he was looking for shelter into his cup at the idea of another confrontation.
«Well that’s great but I meant to talk about… err the reason why you left in a hurry, Ayato and that you worried a lot Thoma. Let’s say I want to talk about my condition.» Naoya cautiously explained.
«Is it about the reason why you fainted during our expeditions?» Thoma enquired.
«Yeah. Naoya let out breathily, further indicating he really didn’t know where to go with this conversation.
«Don’t worry Nao-rin, take your time. And in case you are worried, we won’t be mad. The last few weeks didn’t give you a lot of options to open up.» »Thoma stated, taking charge of the dialogue to help the other.
«Thank you. Hum. I don’t know where to start.» Naoya confessed.
«Start with the beginning.» Thoma answered, trying to lighten the mood.
«Or maybe you could tell a story like you used to do when we were younger.» Ayato offered. «Naoya always made up stories akin to light novels when he wanted to talk about something personal, while not knowing how to.» The light blue-haired man specified for Thoma.
«I can see Guuji Yae’s influence.» Thoma chuckled and smiled at the kitsune to encourage him.
«Right.» Naoya inhaled and the pieces of the story were coming to him. « Long ago there was a little fox that wanted to make his clan very proud of him. When the matriarch asked for him to better his spiritual connection to the Sacred Sakura, the fox obliged and started meditating under its leaves every day. His busy schedule could be overwhelming, but the moments he passed under the tree brought more balance to him. With time, the fox strengthened his connection and his power grew by leaps and bounds making him out to be a great asset for the shrine and his clan.»
Naoya paused his memories playing in his head. Thoma reached out and lightly patted the kitsune’s forearm.
«Did the cute little fox happen to have a reddish cordovan fur?» Ayato teased.
«Who said the fox was cute?» Naoya stammered back.
«If I’m not mistaken, the cute fox isn’t so small anymore.» Thoma added.
«Stoooop.» Naoya pleaded, his ears fluttering from the teasing comments.
«I’m sorry, go on.» Ayato apologized.
«You don’t even seem sincere; I’m sure you would tease me again.» Naoya complained. «Anyway, the unknown fox - which you clearly never met, was once more in deep meditation in front of the tree, well it would be more accurate to say with the tree. As he was going deeper and deeper, the fox felt something calling out to him, asking him to follow the roots further into the earth. Naively, the fox continued his descent up until he was hanging from the lowest roots. The feeling was exhilarating, he could feel the whole of Inazuma from there, memories swirling around him. But with his guard lowered the wide-eyed fox was an easy target and he fell prey to the great darkness that lingered after the last calamity. As the fox drowned in the darkness he tried his best to struggle. It took time but after a great deal of effort, he was able to climb back up and ask for help. When the matriarch of the clan heard the plea, she rushed to her protégé's help. Although she would subdue the lingering darkness, she couldn’t make it go away completely.» As he reminisced, Naoya let tears escape down his face alerting the other two men of the kitsune’s ache, who moved closer to hold him. Ayato passed his arm behind the kitsune’s back and hooked his hand on the opposite side, while Thoma opted to cling to the arm he was previously petting.
«From then on, the fox needed to be permanently aware of the darkness that obscured a corner of his mind. After a month or so of recuperating, the fox decided to leave and learn new ways to focus his body and mind. One week later, the kitsune… I sailed the sea and reached liyue in the hope of being able to rebuild myself.»
Naoya chased away his tears and looked to Thoma and saw the worry in his eyes. «Don’t look at me like that, it’s ok.»
«Nao-rin.» Ayato whispered.
«I’m telling you it’s no big deal.» Naoya turned around to see a somber expression painted on his childhood best friend’s face.
«Nao-rin, is that why you felt so inadequate, why you thought you weren’t strong enough to follow me.» Ayato asked while staring at the space in front of him.
Naoya held back his tears which sent trembles through his bodies and nodded with his head affirmatively.
«I’m sorry.» Naoya mustered in between controlled sobs.
«It’s ok we talked about it yesterday. We weren’t equipped to properly talk about those things back then.» Ayato replied. «I’m glad you felt safe enough to tell us now.»
«I know I sounded dramatic, but if I ever spoke of a darkness troubling me, I was in fact referring to the filth and not using some figure of speech.Thank you both for listening.» Naoya acknowledged. «However, the filth isn’t something hard to control anymore, it only creeps up on me when I’m surprised by something like the tatarigami.»
«Are you saying this with the expedition in mind?» Ayato worried.
«Yes. I know it may seem reckless, but I know I can find the Primeval Sakura in Fort Mumei. Whatever that will be waiting for us there doesn’t stand a chance. If I come prepared, you won’t have to worry about me.»
«When do you think you can get ready?» Thoma asked.
«Are you sure you want to do this?» Ayato added.
«Yes, but all this talk about feelings and the lack of sleep got me a bit tired. Even though we woke up not long ago, I feel like napping. I think we all need some sleep actually. After that I give myself until 10 o'clock tomorrow to be standing on those ruines.»
«That can be arranged. Especially the napping part.» Thoma reassured.
As Thoma got up and held out his hand for Naoya to grab it and follow him, Ayato moved out to put their three futons together and gathered the light bedsheet and throw blankets they had with them. In the morning light, Naoya took place in the middle and pulled the cover over him and tossed around to sink in the soft materials already shutting his eyes. Thoma and Ayato suddenly looked like they were having second thoughts; was it really ok to nap together? Was it too soon after everything? Maybe the kitsune would prefer to be alone to rest.
«What are you waiting for? I’ll get cold if I’m napping alone.» Naoya stated, raising himself on his elbows to look up at the other two. His lower eyelids raised up instinctively, highlighting the fact he found their sudden burst of shyness futile.
The two men take place on each side of the kitsune; Thoma settled on his back while Ayato was on his side facing the kitsune's profile. As he felt the sleepiness seap in, Naoya turned on his side to be more comfortable. His change of position brought him closer to the housekeeper, so much so that it prompted Thoma to pull him closer against his side, so the kitsune would rest his head on the venetian blonde man’s chest and pass his arm on his stomach.
«Hum.» Naoya whispered.
«Are you uncomfortable? I thought you might be cold.» Thoma asked, his green eyes letting out a facetious glint, happy with the reaction he obtained from the kitsune.
«Is this really ok?» Naoya asked, while his fox ears cutely quivered back, which didn’t not escape the eye of the housekeeper.
«Of course it is. I felt it would be much more comfortable that way.» Thoma reassured.
«Thank you.» Naoya answered before nuzzling onto the man’s chest.
Before Ayato even had time to sulk, the kitsune searched for Ayato’s arm behind him and pulled it over him, befittingly making the other the bigger spoon. He maintained his hold on the commissioner's hand and went as far as intertwining their fingers together and resting them on Thoma’s stomach. Soon a third hand covered theirs, completing their embrace. Naoya knew that he would overheat sooner or later trapped like he was, but that concern faded away as he fell asleep in their arms.
Naoya was the first to get up in the morning and went outside to practice some Guhua forms known to activate the body and train flexibility. They were basically sequences of many movements that all link up together and that strive for energy balance between the inside and the outside. Although Thoma didn’t know hitherto about Guhua forms, he was pretty amazed by it when he peeked at the unsuspecting kitsune while he was searching around the cabin for eggs he could use to make the breakfast. Well, was he impressed by the forms themselves or the kitsune performing them? That he couldn’t tell yet. Although if the adjacent violet ibis were able to be more than passive onlookers, they would tell the housekeeper the way he had blushed after looking at the kitsune on the sly should give him the answer to his question.
Ayato delayed the moment he would have to leave the safety of the closed-off room until breakfast was ready. The commissioner rubbed his face in an attempt to ground himself, got out and beelined to where his plate was resting on the table before retreating ‘to look through the window’. Thoma and Naoya idly chatted as they ate, sometimes eying the commissioner who remained very private, eating while standing a few meters away. The atmosphere was heavy, leaving the unaddressed tensions to settle in the air between them like threads.
After their light breakfast, they readied themselves and packed the few belongings they took out during their stay. The kitsune was the last one to exit; right before he completely crossed the doorway of the small cabin, he looked back over his shoulder to the cozy space that appeared cleaner than when they got there yesterday. In another life maybe he could stay here and be a fisherman to live off the sea. Perchance that life would follow the rhythm of the tides and seasons and bring more tranquility. The kitsune smiled after catching himself being extra melancholic this early in the day.
The trio made their way to the northern shore of Kannazuka, Ayato and Thoma were walking up ahead discussing their future tasks and revised the way they had chosen to divide the areas for the search of the Primeval Sakura. Naoya stayed a bit behind lost in his thoughts. He recalled the event of last night and wondered if he should have a warmer attitude towards the commissioner - he wouldn’t change for him, but he could nag him a little bit less.
The kitsune readjusted the shoulder strap used to carry his red wooden sword so it could stop hitting his calves when he walked. He jogged a little to catch up to the other two that stalled in front of a thunder sakura. Naoya examined the tree and affixed some paragraphs into something that could be called an informal logbook. At least the thunder sakura showed signs of healing and regrowth.
The group continued in silence, walking at a steady pace with the goal of reaching Yashiori Island before nightfall. The more the third island was coming into view - revealing the details of its landscape, the more Naoya feeled pressed to address the hiccups of the last evening.
«Hum. About yesterday…»
«Think nothing of it, I was unprofessional and let the tiredness of the day get to me.» Ayato stated, still looking sternly in front of him.
«Well, professionalism is one thing, but on a personal level I know I've said things that irked you in the last two days so I’d like to apologize for them.» Naoya expanded.
The commissioner was surprised to hear those words come out of the mouth of someone that usually doesn’t want to accept their faults.
«So yeah, I will make sure to be mindful of the comments I make so this expedition can be enjoyable for everyone. What do you think Kamisa- uh Ayato-san?»
«I think I would like that. Naoya-san.» Ayato answered, calculating if that was only a dubious attempt to make him lower his guard.
With that settled, they made a few more determined strides before coming to a halt in front of the Musoujin Gorge and its violet glow. The Kamisato brother looked at the narrow rift with a mixture of reverence and dejection. Naoya felt uneasy and jumpy as if the electricity was teasing the top of his ears. Thoma noticed how the kitsune’s nose scrunched and twitched as if some imaginary whiskers were reacting to the high voltage of the area. Wait, would a kitsune even have whiskers in his human form? The housekeeper decided to cast the question aside and initiated the group movement to reach the hills of the island where the Tatarigami would be less concentrated.
Ayato unfolded his map to better locate himself in relation to the Higi Village. Reports mentioned the place was abandoned and was the perfect location to establish their base of operations. They followed a muddy path and made their way to the area marked by the prevalence of maple trees in the local flora. Ayato was pleased with their accomplishments; they left early in the morning and walked steadily so they were able to reach Higi Village in the middle of the afternoon.
They cut over a river where a bridge was in shambles, barely hanging on to the rocky embankment. As they reached the first building of the village they heard assertive shouts coming from further in, someone seemed to be rallying a group of people.
«Stay back, the town doesn’t seem to be inhabited anymore.» Ayato raised his arm so that Thoma and Naoya would stay behind him.
The Nobushis and the one Kairagi leader that made Higi Village their place of dwelling came to meet the intruders, weapons in hand either drawing their swords and readying their crossbows.
Thoma lowered the commissioner's arm and stood beside him with his polearm pointing towards the group. Wasn’t it clear he would be ready to lend his shield to his friend? Both the vagrants and the newcomers studied the people they were facing trying to detect an opening where they could strike. The coughing fit of a Nobushi nearly made them jump at each other's throat as if it was a bell announcing a brawl.
«How about a duel with the pretty lanky boy in white? He looks determined.» The Kairagi shouted with a glint in his eyes.
«Your kind doesn’t have the values nor the seriousness required to proceed with a duel in good standing.» Ayato shouted back.
«Either way you are going down and blood will soil your city boy outfit.» The Kairagi added while showing signs of becoming increasingly agitated.
«That won’t be necessary.» Naoya interrupted while making his way beside his two companions to come into the field of view of the group of bandits. Ayato grabbed the arm of his childhood friend ready to yank him back to cover; only for Naoya to pull his arm out of his grip while adding an annoyed hand movement that meant something along the lines of «Don’t make a fuss, I’m handling this.»
«A new contender has appeared. So you want to receive the beating first?» Mocked the Kairagi.
Naoya folded his arms on his chest and assumed the most imposing stance his statured allowed him to take. «How about a deal so everyone is happy and no one gets hurt.»
«Are you that much of a coward, or maybe are you smart enough to realize the two weaklings behind you don’t have enough muscles to win this fight.» The Kairagi continued and earned some laughs from his subordinates.
«If I was to guess the reason you didn’t attack as soon as you met us, I would say it’s because you are sick enough to doubt your abilities.»
«Even impared, I can take the three of you at once.»
Naoya grinned, but kept himself from alluding to the bottoming abilities of the Kairagi who proclaimed he could take the three of them. Now wasn’t the time to put oil on the fire, nor was it the time to have his mind in the gutter.
«Here’s the offer. We take this one secluded house over there so we can rest and sleep during our expedition and while I'm here I will heal and cleanse you from the Tatarigami. You know, I can see it oozing and coiling around you.»
The group of bandits contemplated the offer; they had nothing to lose but could they trust the words of the man with a wooden red sword? Even his clothes seemed a little too eccentric for their tastes.
«Can you also get rid of his voice? The one in my head?» A nervous Nobushi asked as he broke the ranks.
Only Naoya’s quick blink betrayed the pinch of surprise he felt before hearing those words, answering without skipping a beat: «Of course, I am a certified shrine attendee on Narukami island. The Grand Narukami Shrine to be exact.» He then proceeded to get his personal Gohei wand out of his backpack to add weight to his claim.
The opposing group erupted in chatter and soon the Kairagi made a step in the direction of the kitsune, extending his arm to show he was willing to accept the terms. Naoya closed the distance between them and shook his hand, and even if the Kairagi clamped his hand harder and harder as he shook it, he didn’t back down.
The Karaigi must have decided Naoya passed some kind of test and pulled him in amicably and passed his arm around the kitsune’s shoulders. «So tell me about yourself, what does a kitsune like yourself do so far from his appointed shrine?»
As the Karaigi brought his new friend towards the bigger maple tree towering in the middle of the village, Naoya turned around to gesture he was ok and that he would meet them back at the house they would occupy.
Ayato reluctantly turned around and headed off to the house, soon followed by the housekeeper. In the distance they were still able to hear the husky voice of the kairagi blurting out comments about Naoya. «Are those your real kitsune ears? Can I pet them?»
«Now you would have to win a real duel to be allowed to do that.» Naoya dodged.
«How come your tail isn’t showing? Your long hair is so well kept, I’m sure your tail is fluffy, show it to us.»
«Hey, tail grooming is an important matter, but it is only discussed with other people who have one…»
Thoma wondered if it was really safe to let the kitsune with them. He was about to turn back to have another eye contact with Naoya so he could be at peace, right until an upset Ayato requested his help.
«Thoma can you help me open the door?» The question was followed by the sound of cracking wood and then another: «Oh the door is fine, but I’ll need help with that table, it can stay there, it’s too big, we should be push it against the wall.»
The housekeeper was surprised to see the commissioner in such a mood since he was normally good at composing himself. Thoma was ready to bet that If Ayato was portrayed in a light novel he would have smoke coming out of his ears while he stomped around. Thoma smiled at the mental picture, but still wondered if that was what a jealous Ayato looked like.
«Thoma this place is a mess, we’ll need a broom to take out those cobwebs and give the floor a good sweep.» Ayato shouted from inside the house, Thoma joined him hoping he would be able to manage his friend's mood.
«This went well, Naoya was really good at calming everyone.» Thoma tried.
«Yeah, yeah, he is so good. Everyone likes Nao-rin. But then if you remember in the inazuman play Konkai, only when the fox Hakuzōsu - or reverting to his form, do you really know what he was up to, because before that you did believe he was a monk, but then is it really the problem because his reason were good, wait a minute what is the meaning of the play, what is the moral of the story. Don’t show your true form until it’s safe? Anyway…» Ayato continued to mull over the latest developpement only for the flow of words coming out of his mouth was interrupted by Thoma chiming in.
«Wait did you call Naoya, Nao-rin as a cute nickname when you were younger?»
Ayato stopped fidgeting and looked back at Thoma. «That’s not the point.»
«It’s really endearing, how did he call you?» The housekeepers enquired.
«I’m not telling you. We were young, so it’s not important.»
«Ah come one, I won’t tell.»
«No.»
«I’ll learn it eventually if I ask Milady. Or maybe ‘Nao-rin’ himself would be able to enlighten me.»
Author Note: This chapter lays the groundwork for the rest of the story, but I made sure to make it extra fluffy. There is something about the intimacy of taking care of someone sick that gets me everytime.
After Ayato’s nightly departure, Naoya fervently threw himself in the search for the Primeval Sakura, no stone left unturned. His days were packed with hikes, meditation sessions, guhua training and helping the Kairagi and Nobushis get back at doing something constructive, whether it is planting some crops or selling the ore they mined. They weren’t really invested in those activities, but something in the kitsune demeanor told them he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Thoma didn’t really know how to address the situations, but often offered his support and that he was there if the kitsune needed someone to confide in. Even though the yōkai really appreciated the housekeeper's company, he remained closed off and kept their conversations at a surface level.
After the three first days following the commissioner's departure, Naoya’s mood had soured. Thoma felt that Naoya rehashed the last events to the extent he blamed all his negative feelings on Ayato, the focal point being that he abandoned them and how it wasn’t supposed to be that way. It was also when Thoma showed the first symptoms of illness. Naoya took the situation really seriously and when the housekeeper’s sniffles turned into a fever that kept him bedridden, the kitsune dropped everything to be at his bedside.
Thoma was lying down on a makeshift futon with blankets up to his chin. Although the Mondstadter’s forehead was hot like a pyro slime, the rest of his body was scoured by shivers. Kneeling beside him, Naoya soaked a cloth into cold water, wringed it to take out the excess water and folded neatly. The kitsune then brushed off some strands of hair out of the shut-in face before placing the cloth on it. In a way it was kinda weird to see the man without his signature headband, but Noaya also realised that his patient was cute with or without the accessory.
Thoma mumbled something intelligible and started to move, so to make sure he stayed put and rested, the kitsune took the other’s hand. The reassuring presence seemed to calm Thoma and to make sure he would find his way back to sleepiness, Naoya opted to hum Hakushin’s legacy, a song the shrine maiden onced sang for him. When Naoya finished humming the last notes of the melody a sense of calm had spread inside of him. He looked down at Thoma’s peaceful face, even getting closer to look at all the details he never had the luxury to notice. Satisfied with his inspection, the kitsune still hovered over his friend’s face, thinking about how his traits were harmonious or how his lips’ pigmentation attuned into the prettiest of pink. Naoya allowed himself to place a light kiss on the damp cloth resting on his friend’s forehead; unsure about what he meant by that gesture, but he still smiled to himself when he lifted his head back up. He then turned the cloth around to make sure the coldest side could ease the strawberry blonde’s fever. Indirect forehead kiss? Naoya was quick to dismiss the idea. He just had felt it was a nice caring thing to do.
That was probably the worst state in which Thoma found himself. After the fever eased off. Naoya cooked several batches of soup and sometimes changed it up with some Katsu sandwiches, one of his specialties. Under the pretense that Thoma was too much in a weakened state, Naoya fed him his first few bowls of soup, which was almost enough to bring back the fever they fought so hard to snuff out. Thoma accepted he wouldn’t be able to hide the blush that spread on his cheeks each time he was pampered and stopped fighting it off, but Naoya seemed oblivious to any of those signs.
Soon, Thoma began to feel better and would chat with the kitsune about everything and nothing, learning about each other's past. Thoma confided in Naoya about how lonely Inazuma could feel for him. As much as he liked working at the kamisato estate, he still felt homesick sometimes and that made him feel guilty. The kitsune remembered such feelings from when he was abroad in Liyue. When he left he didn’t know if he would come back to Inazuma one day and that was scary in itself. He was grateful for the people he met like big sister Ganyu - who often meets Yae Miko to discuss bilateral relations between Liyue and Inazuma, who was a blessing. As soon as she took care of his arrival, the kitsune knew he was going to be ok. Naoya insisted Thoma was allowed to feel sad and that it didn’t have to do with his current situation, he himself felt sad in the land of geo, but it had never been because of the people he met. In a way being, able to talk about it with someone who was able to relate to his situation felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, Thoma knew that he wasn’t the only one to feel like that.
On a grey afternoon, Thoma decided to ask a more personal question about an anterior time period than when the kitsune was living in Liyue. The housekeeper didn’t know where he found the courage to be so daring, but maybe those sakura shrimp crackers Naoya had prepared and the fact he was almost feeling back to normal comforted him enough and allowed him to find the confidence to tackle the delicate subject that was on his mind for a while. Why did Naoya and Ayato never talk about that period of time?
«Hey, I have a question.» Thoma asked evasively as he was seated on the makeshift futon under him and swept the sakura shrimp crackers’ crumbs that were left on his thighs.
«Ask away.» Naoya answered, not raising his eyes from the scroll he was reading.
«Can you tell me about your childhood?» Thoma inquired with a neutral tone.
Naoya inhaled sharply as if an old wound would suddenly be painful again. «Hum, is there anything to say?»
«Ah come on, giving me a hard time right after I’ve been so sick? I know Ayato and you spent a lot of time together back then.» After finishing his sentence Thoma held Naoya’s gaze. Truth be told, the housekeeper didn’t feel targeted by it, as the kitsune’s focus was further behind him, staring blankly at the intangible options before him.
Naoya pushed back a strand of his maroon hair out of his face before continuing. «What do you want to know?»
«When did you meet and what was it like to grow up with him? Anything that you think is noteworthy.»
«Well I don't remember a time when I didn't know him per se. I was raised by the shrine maiden in Narukami and would always meet him at different cultural events and festivals.»
Naoya paused and Thoma let him order his thoughts without pressing him.
«Before I knew it we became best of friends and we would snuck out together to escape the formalities of the events where we were to represent our respective faction. Most of the time we would meet where the Narukami trail starts - which aligned with the front of the Kamisato estate, and then go out and about, sometimes exploring the Chinju Forest and other times just watching the sea and talking about how we would recreate the whole world. As you know our views would often clash, but we didn’t care.» The kitsune chuckled at the memories. Thoma nodded and smiled to convey that he was paying attention.
«At first I was shyer when it came to meeting other kids, but Ayato would introduce me to everybody in such a gentle manner that I started to make a lot of acquaintances, something I didn’t think was possible back when I was stuck in the ivory tower the Narukami Shrine could represent. For a while we even had a little gang that we met during the boring adult gatherings we were made to assist. The group was composed of other people that didn’t necessarily fit in. We would meet each saturday evening in the abandoned temple right in front of Mount Yougou.»
«The red one not too far from the hole that leads to the Sacred Sakura Tree?»
«Yes that one. We can go visit it when we go back if you want.»
«I’d like that but who were those other kids?» Thoma questioned, ever so curious about that time period that wasn’t often talked about.
«When everyone was able to make it we were a little bit less than 10. Hum… the group counted the Kamisato siblings, Kujou Sara, Naganohara Yoimiya, Kaedehara Kazuha, Arataki Itto and my fellow Narukami Shrine attendee Kuki Shinobu. We would mostly do what pre-teenagers did and despite the fact that we couldn't all be there for each other on a daily basis we enjoyed our little gatherings.»
«What happened to the group?»
«Well we all knew it was an ephemeral thing. As time would pass some would stop coming and we would hear the adults talk about them indirectly. Kuki-chan’s parents were really strict and put so much pressure I even barely saw her at the shrine. Kazuha-san’s whole clan basically collapsed and he became a wandering samurai. For the rest we mostly got caught up with the looming tasks and responsibilities that would guide us to adulthood.»
«So that’s when you stop seeing Ayato-san as well?» Thoma guessed.
«Not exactly, Ayato and I were always a unit, gang or no gang we would still make time to see each other. The more time I spent with him and the more I felt we would grow up and remain as we were forever. However, even as Eternity’s servant, I kinda knew this wasn’t realistic.» Naoya’s traits contorted into an expression where reminiscence, bitterness and sorrow mixed together. Thoma shifted his position and grabbed the kitsune’s hand.
«You don’t have to continue and you can take all the time that you need.»
«Thank you. A little while before I saw you for the first time at the estate something happened to me that was too big for me to overcome. On his end, Ayato’s parents were under increased pressure which had repercussions on him as well. At this point, Ayato and I relationship just deteriorated and I did nothing to salvage it. Something like 6 months went by and Ayato had to step up as the next commissioner while I left for Liyue.» Naoya could feel his eyes being filled with water and raise his head towards the ceiling to keep the tears from crossing his eyelids. Thoma pulled on the kitsune’s hand and brought him in for a tight hug.
In the closeness of their embrace Thoma was surprised to find the faint scent of Wisteria nested in the crook of the kitsune’s neck. In a way the flowery scent matched Naoya's essence perfectly with the sweet and powdery top notes comparable to the scent of lilac or peonies, making way to an underlying fresh and springy scent that concluded on a small hint of wispy musk. The more he smelled the scent, the finer it got and the more he wanted to hold the kitsune. To evade the feeling, Thoma maintained his hold, but started to playfully rock from side to side until they both fell on the housekeeper’s futon, earning a string of laughter from the kitsune.
«Thank you for sharing your story with me, although I feel bad for bringing you to the verge of tears.» Thoma acknowledged.
«What tears? It actually felt great to talk about it with someone that has both an inside and outside perspective. You are a great listener, each time you nodded reassured me in some way.» Naoya admitted.
From then on, Thoma and Naoya alike felt the bond between them deepened. They weren’t two expedition buddies anymore, they had moved on from that stage. Thoma was also feeling much better and started to work around the home base and took on the task of cooking the meals. It was now possible for the kitsune to briefly leave the house to go on expeditions or do some Guhua forms in the front yard while still checking in from time to time to make sure Thoma was ok or if he needed something.
One morning, Thoma decided to join Naoya while he was exercising outside under the maple trees. It was still early in the day so the sun rays were soft and pleasant on the skin and Thoma relished the idea of getting some vitamin D. The housekeeper just sat quietly on the ground basking in the morning glow, not too far so he could watch the kitsune’s prowess. If he was honest with himself, Naoya recognised he was a bit infatuated to have the strawberry blonde man as an audience, but he still did his best to complete his forms before joining the housekeeper.
«I don’t remember having anyone watching me during my training aside from my master.» Naoya stated.
«You know you are really graceful? Your movements are so fluid as if your body was always meant to move that way. It was almost hypnotizing.» Thoma complimented.
Naoya felt the heat rise on his face and looked away trying to regain his composure. «It’s rare that I’m told I’m graceful with the stature I have.» Naoya snickered to divert the attention.
«Would you show me?» Thoma candidly asked.
The kitsune brought back his gaze on his companion.
«I mean, only if it doesn’t bother you?»
«You are never a bother, but I’m not sure if I would make a good teacher.»
Fast-forward to Naoya chuckling at the way Thoma was too concentrated on executing the Guhua pose itself to notice how stiff all of his muscles were.
«May I correct your posture?» Naoya asked.
«Uh wait, let me regain my balance, yeah, ok.»
The Guhua expert proceeded to adjust Thoma’s position from his feet to his hips and torso, and helped extend the housekeeper’s arms. Once he was satisfied he even applied a little more pressure at key points, so Thoma could really feel the deep stretch of his muscle fibers.
That last one was maybe a little too much for the first 30 minutes of learning Guhua forms so the kitsune had pity for the man and helped Thoma to sit back down on the ground and take a little break.
«That was intense, you do every pose so easily that I would have never guessed the amount of control it required. I’m impressed Nao-rin.» Thoma teased while bumping his shoulder against his friend’s shoulder.
«Well I have a lot of experience, so it’s normal. You were pretty good for your first time.» Naoya retorted. The kitsune laid down on his back and added: «What are you going to teach me in exchange, Thoma-chi.»
«Is that the nickname you chose for me?»
«Don’t question it or it loses its charm. Right Thoma-chi.»
«If you say so.» Thoma accepted feigning indifference, albeit wanting to hear Naoya say his nickname many more times. Thoma cleared his throat and continued: «Well I can teach you many things once we get back, but for now I wanted to gift you something for taking care of me.» Thoma got up and went inside the house to bring back a present. «Here, I hope that you like it.»
«Did you knit that scarf for me.» Naoya asked with incredulous eyes wide opened.
«Of course I did, why do you look so surprised? I chose black because it goes with a lot of things and your clothes are of darker shades usually.»
«It does fit my colour palette very well.» Naoya looked down at the scarf and with extreme care wrapped it around his neck. He looked almost scared that he would pull a thread and make the whole scarf come undone.
«You should trust my skills. I make sturdy stuff when I knit.» Thoma added with a smile and secured the scarf tighter around the kitsune’s neck.
Naoya didn’t know what touched him so much with this gesture, but he didn’t really need to know for the time being. The kitsune got up, only a bit taller than the housekeeper and hugged him tightly. Thoma heard the muffled voice of his friend paired with the fanning of his breath against his nape: «Thank you. I like it.»
The housekeeper smiled even more reveling in the blissful moment. The Kitsune turned around to dry the unwanted tears that made an apparition in the corners of his eyes. Thoma didn’t mention it, feeling like Naoya already reached his emotional output for the day, maybe more for the week or month.
«Should we finish getting ready for the day?»
«Yes, if you want I can make Katsu sandwiches with a side of sakura shrimp crackers for when we are out on expedition.»
Author Note: For some reason my brain decided he wasn't able to form coherent sentences and that syntaxe was now meaningless. I reread the chapter thrice, but some passages are jerky and harder to understand. I hope you all think it adds to my charming foreignness and that it makes me very sexy.
Thoma, Ayato and Naoya had worked at light speed in the last few days. After settling in Higi Village, they first decided on cleaning the house that had been abandoned prior to their arrival, as their first task. Once they had three beds and an operational cast iron stove, they set out to explore the island and helped the other inhabitants get rid of the remnant of the tatarigami. Naoya led the primary sweep of the three main shrines to make sure they were in good condition before inquiring to the Watatsumi army stationed in Fort Fujitou if he could proceed with the rituals he planned on doing.
Since it was in the best interest of everyone, the representatives of the Watatsumi army agreed to the kitsune’s request to deal with the matter. After all, Yae Miko and Sangonomiya Kokomi had been exchanging letters on the subject before the expedition was planned. Everything was settled in a matter of a few days and the kitsune easily purified the ground around the wards and set up some specialized Shikigami around them to act as guards. The last step was to dissimulate the ward and place them under thunder barriers that required carrying an electrograna to pass through it. The kitsune made sure to explain to the representative of the Watatsumi army how to receive such a blessing from the Thunder Sakura Boughs.
The only mishap occurred in Fort Mumei after a long day of carrying out exhausting tasks. When completing final technicalities regarding the purification of the area around the third ward, Naoya happened to lose consciousness for an instant resulting in him fainting against the grey stones. When asked for an explanation he simply brushed it off as a silly oversight on his spiritual energy reserves and that he would restore such reserves by eating and sleeping.
After being brought back to their home base, the kitsune was severely grounded by Thoma. The blonde housekeeper continuously scolded the kitsune over the pot of miso soup he was heating up. Thoma used such a stern voice that the kitsune made sure to showcase his attentiveness via some active listening techniques, which amused Ayato to the utmost while he enjoyed the scene from a safe distance. Thoma concluded his admonition by asking a few questions to make sure the kitsune understood what he was told and once the man was satisfied with the answers, he practically spoon-fed the hot miso soup to the kitsune. Since then, Thoma was always making sure that the other wouldn’t push himself too much - sometimes going the extra mile which led Naoya to his current predicament.
«Naoya-san are you sure you drank enough water today? The sun is very bright.» Thoma enquired.
«I sure did, I wouldn’t want to make you worry after me.» The kitsune answered before smiling at the housekeeper and giving a thumbs up to confirm he was in good shape.
Ayato watched the other two out of the corner of his eye; he had to admit his childhood best friend had honed his patience and became more compliant. Ayato smirked, thinking about how a young Naoya would have screamed at the shrine maidens for trying to micromanage him so much and probably make a fervent plea regarding the freedom of choice and the philosophical concepts attached to it. Maybe his stay in Liyue made him mature more than he thought.
The trio had finally managed to reach the top of the Serpent’s Head. The sight was even more impressive up close, the gigantic skeleton, its jaw opened wide, almost daring adventurers to venture in. Even the glow emanating from the bones that had withened over time added a certain dramatic feel. The trio crossed the row of sharp teeth and reached the interior of the mouth. Their eyes took some time to get accustomed to the dimly lit area which heavily contrasted with the rawness of the outside light.
When they were finally able to inspect the inside of the snake maw, their attention was caught by a sealed metal gate on the floor that was akin to the very esophagus of the giant snake. They looked at each other and on their own accord, started to take a closer look at the mysterious space in search of a way to open it.
«Found it!» Ayato claimed.
«Where is it?» Naoya questioned turning around.
Ayato was crouched down looking between the bars of the gate. He pointed to the lever that was a little bit lower, past the gate. He got down and tried his best to reach and pull it but it was a few centimeters too far. When the commissioner didn’t succeed, Thoma decided to give it a try too, hoping to achieve better results.
«I can't reach the handle either.» Thoma conceded as he was laying flat on the ground, his arm passing through the aperture of the gate, elbow deep and still trying to extend his hand even more.
«I'm not sure what was the purpose of making this mechanism in such a way. Whoever built this had to have a way to get in and out. Maybe it was made for snakes to get in… Hum perhaps a dog could pass through as well, or even a...»
«I don't like where this is going Ayato-san.»
«I’m glad you are picking up on it Naoya. If someone happened to shift, let’s say in their fox form, there is a possibility we could find a way down and even find that elusive tree that we are looking for.»
«Let's just find another way. No fox form for no one.» Naoya stated.
«You can turn into a fox?» Thoma asked, seemingly cheerful at the idea.
«Nu-uh, it's an urban legend.» Naoya uttered while turning his back to them.
«Please, I beg of you. It would save us so much time. Don’t you agree, Nao-rin? You would be our savior and we would be eternally grateful for it. Not to mention you look so so cuddly when you turn into your fox form, but that’s beside the point.» Ayato concluded, using a singsong voice to put emphasis on the way he used the kitsune’s childhood nickname.
Mc abruptly turned around, his face on fire from all the pleading he just heard. He stared at Ayato with a frown. Thoma was unsure how Naoya would react to some added pressure, but he went for it.
«You know Naoya, I think you are really gifted, as I was able to see ever since this expedition, but I doubt you can really transform into a fox.» Thoma taunted while peering down the kitsune with his eyes half lidded, looking sly. At that the kitsune snapped his head to stare at the housekeeper, but was unable to maintain eye contact once he met his eyes. That’s when Thoma decided to go in for the kill, «That would be truly amazing and magical, but I guess I'll just have to curb my enthusiasm. I should be more realistic and not daydream about some adorable fox form. Right Nao-rin?» Thoma used the same singsong tone to say the three syllables of the kitsune’s nickname.
Naoya opened his mouth to answer, but closed it after a few seconds of silence. They were really after him, that couldn’t only be about the gate now, could it? They had to make it about him, to put him on the spot. Naoya shaked his head in a vain attempt to clear it from all the thoughts traversing it.
The Kitsune smiled in defeat, accepting his fate for the only reason that it would be much faster than trying to find another exit and nothing else.
«You- you are not even being subtle about it. Fine. Can I have some intimacy whilst I change form?»
Ayato and Thoma obediently turned around, smiling at each other knowingly. «Just drop my clothes down once I open the gates so I can get dressed right back.» They heard the shuffle of Mc's clothes and the light sound they made when they dropped on the ground.
It wasn’t long until Ayato and Thoma heard a clicking metallic sound indicating the gate’s opening. They turned around to peer down the hole only to see a blurry bundle of reddish fur jumping from the small ledge beside the lever and into the room below. The kitsune sat down while glaring up with the most expressive little triangular vulpine face Thoma had ever seen. Ayato knew he needed to drop the clothes quickly or he was going to be a dead man in a matter of seconds; still he lingered just a little more to look at the rare sight which is his childhood best friend fox form.
Only once Naoya put back on his clothes did the other two were allowed to come join him in the lower space. They were able to find a thunder sakura bough which allowed them to reach the second room beneath. There they were stopped by another gate, keeping them from accessing the final room. This time the mechanism was easily reachable, but they had to try it twice before understanding the pattern in which the lever needed to be activated to succeed.
They finally made it to the last room that could be considered on ground level or the stomach of the snake, but they tried to not think about this comparison. The trio started investigating in the dimly lit room to find anything that would look remotely sakura-ish. Naoya used his senses to try and figure out if there was another hidden passageway that could lead him to the cutting of the primeval sakura. The kitsune investigated the simple tomb bearing the inscription «Kikuchiyo - Eternal fisher-maid, eternal samurai.»
«What a strange epitaph.» Naoya mumbled for himself. He then stood back up and dusted his clothes, ready to leave the room as he couldn’t shake the impression that the cave walls were closing in. The kitsune walked under the gates to look back up through the aligned apertures. He couldn’t see clearly above himself even with his enhanced vision, but he was still able to discern the light at the very top. The moment Naoya stepped back, an Ochimusha - the ghostly manifestation of a kairagi, spawned in his previous location making smoke swirl around its form. The apparition brandished his sword and before the kitsune could alert his friends, the ghostly soldier used a paper seal to infuse his sword with pyro.
Naoya barely dodged the first attack of the manifestation, resulting in him flying back against the cave wall and Thoma counterattacked, granting a blazing barrier to everyone. Ayato hurriedly unveiled his garden of purity and started his onslaught on the opponent. The synergy between the string of rapid hydro slashes and the fiery collapse pyro attacks made it easy to significantly reduce the health of the Ochimusha.
On his part Naoya had to face his own demons. As he stumbled backwards the kitsune tried to contain himself and remain calm. Without knowing it, Ayato’s elemental ability mixed with the presence of the Ochimusha caused a chain reaction inside the commissioner's childhood friend. His garden of purity, when it existed as a space, could silence the cacophony within, which had the effect of unsettling the kitsune’s mental barriers that were put in place in order to subdue the filth he carried with him.
The kitsune tried to focus his attention on breathing in and out and started with inhaling two sharp breaths before releasing the air through his nose. Naoya felt the filth alarmingly move around his body only making him focus more fervently on his breathing meditation. He had grown a lot since the first episode. Flashes of scattered memories flooded his brain - the familiar Narukami shrine, a younger version of himself meditating in front of the Sacred Sakura. Back then he didn’t know how to protect his mind from intrusion and when he dived too deep within the Sacred Sakura and encountered the tumor of filth at the bottom of its roots, he wasn’t able to suppress the torrent of filth puncturing his mind. Before he was drowned in the maddening darkness, Yae Miko was able to save him and purify his body. However, her proégé would forever be mentally scarred by the filth as if he was stained by indelible ink.
He got this, he could do it, keeping the filth in check in the corner of his mind was what he was doing at any point in time, the only difference now was that he got surprised by how quiet everything went, destabilizing the balance he maintained within. Naoya’s mind cleared up enough for him to notice what was happening. Before him, Thoma and Ayato were destroying the Kiraigi manifestation with brute force - weapons in hand firmly slashing its corporeal appearance. Once they slayed the Ochimusha, the residual energy of the tatarigami it carried splashed all over the room. Round two. The dark residue hit the kitsune with full force, making the filth inside of him go wild - comparable to two magnets with the same magnetic charge reacting in a repulsive manner.
Only when they heard Naoya crying did Thoma and Ayato realized something was not right. With his blurry vision Naoya was foraging hecticly in his bag. The two men came beside him trying to support or understand what he needed, but in the end they felt like useless witnesses relegated to the sidelines.
It was too late for the kitsune to make a normal purification ritual; the dam he had created in his mind was threatening to come completely undone. Finally he found it! He took a piece of paper covered with ink and folded it in two and brought the paper to his lips. He gathered his strength, clapped his hands and insufflated power into the symbols on the sheet. As he blew through the piece of paper clasped in between his lips, the symbols etched into it started to fly in the air and plaster themselves on his skin to bind the energy of the kitsune. His last resort was basically a self induced coma that would allow him to regulate his own spiritual energy and purge out the excess of negative energy.
After a dozen minutes the kitsune reopened his eyes, the symbols that bound him already fading away as their duty was completed. He found himself lying on the ground with his head resting on Ayato’s lap. Thoma had his index and middle finger on his wrist, probably to monitor his vital signs.
«I’m ok.» Naoya whispered.
Ayato and Thoma perked up at the same time a million words threatening to spill, solely contained by the understanding that now wasn’t the best of times to ask questions to the kitsune. Slowly, the yokai stood up with the assistance of the other two and they left the room together in silence. Ayato’s knuckles were white as a result of the strong grip in which he held his childhood best friend's backpack. The way back to the Higi Village was lived differently for both sides; one side was too numb to process what was happening and the other side harbored cold dread nested in the pit of their stomach after seeing the terrified expression of the kitsune moments ago.
As soon as Naoya reached the house he fell on his bed and slept until the moon was high in the sky. He woke up covered in sweat from a nightmare he didn’t remember any details of. The kitsune looked around the room to find his roommates sleeping in their respective makeshift beds. He stood up, took a gourd of water and exited the house to benefit from the chilled night air. He took a few steps in the direction of the maple trees and sat on the grass. From there he could hear the stream of water running nearby. The door he had closed opened once more and Ayato soon came beside him, not uttering a single word. Not wanting to talk first, the commissioner waited and started picking every blade of grass within arm reach around him to calm himself.
«So…» Naoya began.
«What the hell was that.» Ayato bursted out.
«Nothing, the energy of the room was just off. You know I don’t like bad vibes.»
«Shut it. Don’t give me that.» Ayato scolded.
«Don’t give you what?» Naoya feigned.
«Tell me what that was. Your episode. Or the thing. I have never seen you cry like that, you seemed terrified.»
«I’m sure it looked worse than what it felt like, haha.» Naoya let out a force chuckle to side with his lies. A pitiable attempt at keeping Ayato at a distance, a boundary of sort to keep old wounds closed.
«Why are you like that? Is it funny to you?»
Naoya looked at his feet hoping the wrath of his childhood best friend would subside but he knew it was a pious wish at best and an insult at worst.
«Why am I even trying? Only a fool would hold onto you, I can’t do such a thing anymore…»
As the other wasn’t reacting, the commissioner stood up glaring down at his former best friend. There was more hurt than hate in his eyes, but explaining it felt pointless now. «Anyway, while you were out cold, I was contacted by the Shumatsuban. There are matters I must attend to in Narukami. I waited for you to wake up, but now i regret it. I should have left hours ago.» Ayato stated in a more neutral tone.
Naoya’s fox ears were turned toward Ayato in such a manner it was clear he was listening, but he remained as quiet as a grave.
«I’ll be leaving now.»
«Wait!» Naoya got up on his feet and bolted around to see the back of his former best friend.
«What? Are you going to ask me something selfish now? Are you going to tell me I should forget all about you like the last time when you left for Liyue.»
«You don’t understand.»
«Enough!»
«You are being unfair.»
«So be it. I’m so tired of this. I’ll be back in a week or so, and if you haven’t made any progress it will mark the end of this expedition.» Ayato instructed with a cutting tone. Without looking back, the commissioner left while Naoya watched the white jacket disappear between the hills of Yashiori island.
