Fantasia LOVE&KISS Novel Chapter 7
Disclaimer: I’m not a professional translator
Masterlist here
🎤
After rehearsals, Aizou visited the live house that Iv rented. In between their busy schedules, Aizou and Iv make time for singing lessons. What they do was always the same: Aizou sang on stage, and Iv listened to him from the other end of the venue.
It was a repetitive process. After the two-hour lesson, Aizou sat down on the chair that Iv had brought out for him.
“I think you've got a better voice now than you did at first,” Iv made coffee for two and offered him a cup.
“You think so?” Aizou asked, glancing up at him. “I didn’t realize it myself, but I feel like I can hit pitches that I couldn’t, before. I felt like I was being tuned.” He chuckled and raised the coffee to his lips.
Iv leaned against his desk with a small laugh. “Just a little longer...” He muttered to himself.
Immediately, Aizou thought that he wouldn’t be able to do it.
“You should have more confidence, Aizou. You should realize by now that you have more potential than you think.”
“I’m not sure about that...Yui also told me that I can do things that I don’t seem to be able to do...I wonder if that’s how people see me?”
“Is it possible that, from their perspective, you can do more?”
“I think that you think too highly of me.”
“You think so?” Iv looked at him with a small smile.
“I can’t do many thing...” The words unlike Yujiro nearly escaped his lips, but he swallowed them back along with the coffee that Iv made.
“This is serious, then,” Iv muttered and sighed, “does this mean that we chose you at the auditions because we think too highly of you?”
Aizou, who was about to bring his cup to his lips again, froze.
“At that time, there was only one person who should have been accepted. One of the two finalists was supposed to be chosen. But we chose both of you. It wasn’t just Yujiro.”
“Iv...”
Iv smiled at him and patted his shoulder. “So prove to me that our decision was the right one, okay?”
(I’m not even sure what you saw in me...)
_
When Aizou returned home, he turned on the light and collapsed onto the couch in the living room. The door soon opened and his brother came in while holding Kuro. Since he was the one in charge, he should be the one feeding her. His brother went to the kitchen and shuffled through the fridge.
“Hm...we don’t really have anything. Hey, you want some sushi? Your treat, of course~”
(I don’t give a shit!)
Aizou frowned and ignored his brother, standing up and grabbing his bag. He walked over to his room before pausing halfway. “...Hey...” He spoke up.
Ken, who was going through the cupboards to look for a cup of noodles, glanced at him.
“...Was...was I a decent singer, back in elementary school..?”
When he asked in a hushed voice, his brother rolled his eyes and looked at Kuro. Kuro, who had been curled up cozily in his brother's arms, purred affectionately.
When Aizou was in elementary school, he used to sing all the time. In music class, the teacher praised him a lot. His mother entered him in a singing competition because hiss teacher suggested that he should try it.
Most of the children who enter competitions are those who take singing lessons or are members of some choir.
How could he, who was not under the guidance of a teacher, win the competition? Was it just luck? My brother thought for a moment and then turned his head.
“Well?”
Asking him was a waste of time. Aizou sighed.
“I don’t know if you were really all that good, but I know that you were always singing,” Ken finally said, putting a kettle on the stove and waiting for the water to boil. “...Do you want a bowl of katsudon?”
(I really don’t give a shit!)
Aizou stormed inside of his room and slammed his door shut instead of replying.
He began to study his math reference book and textbooks, when he suddenly heard Kuro’s mewls.
It had been about two hours since he had locked himself in his room. It was past eleven o'clock by the time he looked at his watch.
(Come to think of it, I haven’t eaten dinner yet...)
He got up and came out of his room, finding Kuro sitting on the floor. His brother was nowhere to be found, so he must have gone out somewhere.
(Dammit, if you’re not going to be home, at least turn off the lights!)
He didn’t have any time for grocery shopping, so he didn’t have any ingredients to make anything. Hopefully, though, there was one more cup of noodles left in one of the cupboards, unless Ken got to it first and ate it. Aizou headed to the kitchen, hoping to find it.
He stopped partway there, spotting the cup of noodles on the table. On top of it was a sticky note with the words “you can have it” on it.
He must have gone out to a convenience store or went to a small restaurant.
Underneath the noodles was a DVD case. Aizou picked it up and found that it was a DVD of the competition in which he had participated.
“I didn’t know we still had this...” Aizou muttered.
He sat on the couch in the living room, staring blankly at the images of the competition on the TV.
Kuro, who had climbed into his lap, yawned as if she were completely bored and became engrossed in grooming her fur.
When his name was called on the DVD, his elementary school self, hand outstretched, walked out from the side of the stage. It was obvious to anyone watching that he was completely nervous.
He bowed his head and began to sing to the accompaniment of the piano. When it was over, there was a huge round of applause. No matter how many times he saw it, he couldn't really feel it. Even if he was told that this was him, it didn't feel right.
He could not feel the excitement and elation that he should have felt at that time in this video.
Was it always like this?
He thought he could have sung a little better than he did in his memory of that time. It was shortly before his parents divorced that he stopped being able to sing.
It was the day he was returning from an annual festival at a nearby shrine with his brother. They bought masks from a stall while they walked up to the shrine, and he played target practice with his brother, ate hot grilled corn, and bought candy apples as a souvenir for his mother, who was waiting at home.
His brother had laughed at him and said, "if it's mother, she'd rather have fried squid," but he thought she would definitely be more pleased with the candy apples than the fried squid.
He had spent all of his allowance, and it suddenly started to rain, so he put up an umbrella and hurried home. He was walking in front of the station when his brother suddenly stopped. Aizou called out to him, but he did not move, so he looked in the direction of the station to see what was wrong.
Their father was holding a woman he did not know on the shoulder as if she was his girlfriend. At home, he was always fighting with their mother and was always in a bad mood. Their father wore a smile that he never showed them at home when he was with that woman.
“Eh...why..?” His voice leaked out.
“Dad...he said he was working late today...”
Aizou hadn’t understood at the time. Their father didn’t notice that they were there. He didn’t notice, because he was going somewhere with a woman, and they were getting into a cab together.
Aizou had tried to stop him as quickly as he could, but his brother grabbed his arm and pulled him back painfully hard. He turned around in surprise and his eyes were covered by his brother, who reached out from behind him.
“Why...”
“You don’t need to know,” was all his brother said. “If you don’t see it, if you don’t hear it and you just keep smiling, then maybe you’ll forget all about this.” With that, his brother slowly removed his hand.
By then, his father and the woman were already gone, and his brother wore a stiff smile on his face.
“Let’s go home...mom’s waiting for us.”
“Yeah...”
It was not long after that that their father left them. Aizou hoped that singing would cheer up his mother, who cried every day, and make her smile again. However, it seemed to be only grating on his mother's ears.
“You’re too noisy, stop singing!”
He was shocked by what he was told, and he found himself unable to sing. He could talk, but when he tried to sing, he felt as though he couldn't breathe, as if he were drowning under water.
His singing voice was gone, and he was sure that was his punishment.
💮
As the performance date neared, the number of magazine interviews and appearances at events increased. He was reminded that the day of the performance was only about two weeks away, and he became more and more nervous by the day.
In the midst of all this, a rehearsal was held in which they actually put on their costumes and used props.
Yujiro stepped out in front of Rino, who played the role of the princess, as she entered the scene where he has a direct confrontation with the princess, who was being controlled by the dragon.
Okido, the director, called Yujiro and Rino together and repeatedly instructed them on this important scene.
“If you want us to beg for forgiveness, I can do so.”
“Oi!” Aizou protested angrily, his hand on his rapier. But Yujiro held an arm out to intercept him. He left his bow in Aizou’s hands and walked to the princess, holding the rose sword.
“…It’s a small price to pay to save her life. We don’t want to waste it either.”
“Ho. You’re so much more understanding than that idiot over there.”
“And of course, I will give you back this sword. It belonged to your father. It is not ours to keep.”
The guards tried to stop him, but backed down at the princess’s command.
“I hope you can forgive our insolent behavior,” Yujiro got down on one knee. He picked up the foot of the princess and brought his lips to the toe of her shoe, before his gaze suddenly snapped to the princess’s.
The actors and crew members watching around them watched the tense performance with bated breath. Rino, too, was a completely different person from her usual calm and collected self, completely inhabiting the role of the princess who had been manipulated by a dragon.
It was as if the two were showing everyone just how good their acting skills were.
The director, Okido, kept his hand on his chin and did not take his eyes off the two performers. A small, satisfied smile crossed his face, as if he were saying “this is what I wanted to see.”
“But...I refuse to be loyal to you. When I am finished here, I fully intend to leave this castle. However, before I do, I want the reward I was promised for fulfilling my end of the deal!”
Yujiro’s strong tone echoed throughout the rehearsal room, and it gave Aizou gooesbumps. Involuntarily, his grip on the hilt of his rapier tightened.
(He’s come so far and we’re almost finished...)
From the first reading of the script, Yujiro's voice inflections, pauses, and the tempo of his dialogues were so good that it was hard to believe that it was his first time on stage, but it was a far cry from the days when he was a newcomer.
His dialogue and movements had changed dramatically. When rehearsing in this way, Yujiro's acting pulled him in and he almost forgot that he was on the stage as well.
It was as if he was really in “the other world” and he sometimes found himself arguing with him in earnest. What he was playing now was not the partner he knew. It is not Yujiro of LIPxLIP.
This was Someya Yujiro, who had been unable to perform on stage as an actor for a long time, but has continued to dream of being on stage, and had continued to practice and work hard alone in the shadows.
Everyone present, including the staff, was watching him intently. No doubt, it would be the same on the stage.
He was going to stand on the same stage with Yujiro and perform as an equal.
He felt like he was suddenly being reminded of how absurd that was, and he started to break out in a cold sweat.
Aizou gripped his arm tightly with his hand. He knew how much Yujiro cherished LIPxLIP as a unit and how big his dreams were for it, and how much he was always trying to protect them with everything he had.
That was probably the reason why he had clashed with Okido. The magnitude of the feelings he held was the same for him.
In order to make his dream come true, he chose Yujiro as his partner in order to keep standing on the stage he had set out to reach. Together, they could see places and see worlds that he could never reach on his own. He believed that they could show that world to the many fans who followed them.
And yet...he thought they were always fighting, but when did they start to lean on each other so much? They’d been telling each other that they were dragging each other down.
After a fifteen-minute break, Yujiro returned to his chair, grabbed his towel, and wiped the sweat off his face. Aizou watched him from a distance.
(...He’ll end up carrying my baggage as well...)
If they were going to stand on the same stage together, there were things they had to overcome.
Yujiro suddenly turned to him. When their eyes met, a puzzled expression crossed his face.
Aizou discreetly clenched his fists at his sides.
(I have to overcome Yujiro...)
How could he have forgotten that? The wall that had been standing in front of him since that day at the audition had always been there.
Aizou turned his head away, his lips pursed in a pout, and strode swiftly out of the practice room.
He needed to be able to lighten Yujiro's burden. He couldn’t leave his own luggage with his partner and make him do all the work.
He refused to let him do that.
💮
Aizou stood at the center of the stage in the venue that Iv rented, and he closed his eyes. He began singing, which Iv listened to, leaning against the railing in the back of the room.
When he finished, Iv gave him a rare round of applause. He started walking over, and Aizou walked down the steps of the stage.
“That was perfect. This concludes our lessons- the rest is up to you now.”
“Thank you!” Aizou bowed. Ever since he had started taking lessons with Iv, Ikezaki had praised him, saying that his pitch had become more stable and his voice had improved. With this, he would be able to perform in the show. “It’s all thanks to you...I’ll definitely send you tickets so that you all can come see the show.”
“I don’t know if you want those guys over to watch the show, I doubt they’ll be able to sit still and watch it quietly,” Iv said, his brows furrowing in worry.
Aizou laughed. “Maybe so, but...I’m indebted to all of you. Oh, I’ve been declining Yui’s invites to ramen lately, so tell him I’ll definitely go next time!”
“Only if it’s a place where the ramen isn’t spicy and just tastes good, right?” Iv smirked lightly.
“Yes, please...” Aizou replied, and Iv laughed warmly.
“The performance is coming up. How’re you feeling?”
“I don’t know...but I just have to give it everything I got.”
He was sure that there were a lot of things he was missing. He would be lying if he said he wasn't anxious about how the audience would feel, but he had no choice but to believe in what he worked so hard to achieve over the past few months and show it on stage.
Even if he failed, even if people laughed at him, he knew that this was all he had right now.
“Right...and I think I’d be happy to go, and take my boys along with me.”
Aizou nodded.
“Oh, and, Aizou,” Iv looked like he was just remembering something. “You said before that you can’t do a lot of things, right? But you should appreciate what you have more. You can do a lot more than you think you can, and a lot of people really love you.”
Aizou stared at him in confusion.
Iv laughed at him. “You really don’t get it. One day, you’ll realize what you took for granted was a special gift given to you. So until then, keep what I said in mind,” he patted Aizou’s shoulder and grinned at him.
(A special gift given to...me...)
🎤
A rehearsal was held in the venue that the play was going to be held in.It was the final rehearsal, all of which would be performed as on the day of the performance.
As Aizou headed out onto the stage, all ready to go, clad with his makeup and costumes on, his other costars were gathering one after the other.
Aizou watched as the crew busily moved in and out of the stage, waiting out of the way offstage. The big props had already been placed on the stage. The round lights on the ceiling were flashing with red and blue lights, as if they were making final checks on the lighting.
The curtain was up, so he was able to see the audience seats lined up almost like a staircase. He was getting really nervous.
“Aizou-kun...” A shy voice called out.
Aizou turned and saw Rino, standing there wearing her own makeup and white dress costume. Her hair was done up as well, with a golden tiara on top of her head.
“Inokawa-san...”
“It always makes me nervous,” Inokawa Rino stood by him, staring at the audience seats with sparkling eyes.
“Even you get nervous, even though you’re used to this kind of stage?” Aizou asked, surprised.
“I do! The anxiety never truly goes away, but...it always makes me happy being able to stand on stage,” Rino explained, then smiled. “But...this is all thanks to you. You’re really amazing, you know?”
“Ehh, you’re more impressive than I am, though...”
“I love actng, and I’ve been doing it since I was a little girl, that’s all.”
(That’s still impressive, though.)
Aizou listened as she continued to talk.
“I know Aoi-chan didn’t want to be in this play...but I did, and I ended up pushing her too much...I felt horrible about it. But after your ad lib that day, she started having more fun during rehearsals. And it’s no thanks to me...it’s thanks to you. It's not only Aoi-chan. I’ve also really enjoyed the rehearsals since then. I think the same goes for the staff and everyone else. The atmosphere at the site has become better and brighter. I think Okido-san feels the same way.”
“Eh, the director?” Aizou blinked.
“Yeah, he seemed to be having a good time, didn’t he?” Rino laughed.
“Well...the first time I met him, I thought he was pretty harsh,” Aizou said, putting a hand on the back of his head.
He was as strict as ever, but he laughed at a few ad libs Aizou did, and he even changed the direction of how some scenes went to fit in with the ad libs.
“Yujiro-kun’s been the same. He was so tense at first, but even he seems to be a bit more relaxed.” And if she was saying that after rehearsing with him, it must be true.
(I had no idea...)
Though he did notice that Yujiro no longer had grim or frustrated expressions during rehearsals, probably thanks to the fact he no longer clashed with Okido.
“What you did was amazing. You’ve moved so many people.”
“Ah...I really didn’t do much,” Aizou said with a wry smile.
Rino only smiled and put a small bag in Aizou’s hand. The contents of the transparent bag were lemon-colored candies.
The color and shape of the candy resembled the legendary jewel that Aizou would obtain after defeating the dragon.
“Let me bestow upon you, brave traveler, our country’s famous Mystery Jewel Candy!” Rino said in a theatrical tone, before laughing. “Let’s do our best!” She ran off.
(Mystery jewel candy..?)
Aizou glanced at the bag and sighed, a small smile crossing his face.
Rino caught up with Aoi, who realized that Aizou was glancing over at her. She raised a fist, as if to say “let’s do our best!”.
Aizou held up a fist in response.
Rino giggled a little at the exchange and Aoi quickly lowered her fist with a pout, and the two girls rushed off while giggling, clearly enjoying themselves.
(They really do seem like close friends.)
As he watched them leave, Yujiro came out in his costume, greeting the staff.
“Aizou, Yujiro!” Manager Uchida waved to them to come backstage. Aizou suppressed a sigh and walked over.
“...What are you holding?” Yujiro asked.
Aizou held up the bag of yellow candy. “It was given to me by the princess herself. Amazing, huh? I think they’re going to be sold at the booth tomorrow for the performance.”
“What is this? Or, rather, when did it even become part of the merch?” Yujiro frowned.
Suddenly, the bag was snatched out of his hand. “Ah?!”
“I think I’ll take it, since you don’t like sweets!”
Aizou only sighed in exasperation. “I really can’t let my guard down around you, huh.” It was stupid of him to show sweets to the local sweet-tooth.
After they received their rapier and bow from Manager Uchida, a staff member called out to them. “Rehearsals will start in fifteen minutes!”
“Good luck to you both!” Manager Uchida smiled.
“Yes!” Both Aizou and Yujiro replied. They shared a look, before bumping their fists together, just like they always did before a live show.
💮
Moonlight shined through the crumbling ceiling of the dimly lit, abandoned cathedral. This was the scene where Aizou and Yujiro, surrounded by the guards, quickly pretend to be traveling performers to escape.
Yujiro raised a chair that had collapsed in front of the organ and sat down.
“...I’ve never sung in front of people before!” Aizou rushed to Yujiro, whispering his complaint.
“I haven’t either.”
“I don’t know any song! No hometown ones or lullabies- nothing!”
“Then just sing something random. I’ll accompany you.”
“Don’t be reckless. There’s no way we can match a song out of the blue!”
Yujiro grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to him. “You can either sing recklessly or get caught and thrown in jail!”
Aizou pushed Yujiro’s hand off of him. “Don’t complain if I mess up!” He faced the guards.
“Well? We’re waiting!” The guards comments started flying in, and Aizou’s heart pounded as if it were a real performance.
“Sing louder!”
Listening to the taunting voices of the guards, Aizou took a deep breath. If he faltered here, the whole scene would be ruined. He knew this song by now, he’d practiced it many times with Iv. Yujiro started to play the organ, the sound filling the venue. At the sound, Aizou looked up. It felt as though he’d been patted on the back.
(Really, the role...I’m ready for it...)
He had to pretend to improvise a song while pretending to be a traveling performer. It really was a reckless idea- but when the organ started playing, he started singing, his voice spreading throughout the venue.
(Huh..?)
Aizou, who had been singing slowly with his eyes downcast, opened his eyes in confusion. The light of a blue-white light, which looked like moonlight, was shining from above. When he sang in his lessons with Iv, he didn't use a microphone.
Even though the microphone was picking up his singing voice properly this time, he was surprised at how much it sounded. It was totally different from his usual live performances. The resonance of the deep organ played by Yujiro combined with his singing voice spread out to envelop the entire venue. It felt good and made him want to raise his voice even more.
(I’m...doing really well, aren’t I?)
He didn’t know if it was the effect of the lessons, the acoustics of the venue, or the tuna mayo rice balls he bought and ate at the convenience store in the morning, but it was different from usual. The sound was stable and he could sing as he wanted.
The high notes, which had been difficult during the lesson, came out beautifully, and he subconsciously clenched his fists.
Suddenly, he remembered the DVD of the competition that he had watched repeatedly in the living room of his apartment. At the time, he couldn't remember anything, so he just watched it emotionlessly.
But now, he felt as though he’d been pulled back to that day's competition venue. He could even remember the cool air and smell of the dry, air-conditioned hall.
When it was his turn, the announcer called his name, and he nervously stepped out onto the stage, with the dazzling lights.
The woman who had been accompanying him was sitting at the piano. She stood in the middle of the stage and bowed with a perky smile, and the audience applauded. One of the people who clapped so loudly that it was embarrassing was his mother, who was sitting in the audience. So he knew immediately where his parents and brother were sitting.
When he saw their faces, he suddenly felt relieved and relaxed. It was the same feeling he had when he was jumping up and down and singing in the living room at home. When the piano accompaniment started and he began to sing, his voice sounded better than when he was singing at home or at school, so he was comfortable, and he sang as loud as he could, wishing he could reach many more people.
(Yes, I...I was singing just like this...)
He almost laughed at what he was doing. It really was something he had done back then.
He had been so afraid to revisit his memories. There were many things he didn't want to face. But they weren’t all bad memories. It was the same with the competition.
He was so happy to win that he jumped up and down.
He put all of those memories together, threw them in a box, and put them in the deepest part of his mind so he wouldn't see them or remember them anymore.
No matter who he sang for or won, it seemed useless and no one needed him. But as Iv said, it was a gift given to him. It was not that there was nothing special about him.
What he was looking for, what he needed, was inside him from the beginning. He had not lost the key to the box where he kept his precious things. All he needed was the courage to open it.
He found himself unable to hear the organ. All that was echoing in the hall was his own singing voice. Yujiro stopped accompanying the organ in the middle of the song, even though it was not supposed to be staged that way.
As soon as Aizou finished singing, the tears that had been building up spilled out.
When he finally looked up as the afterglow faded, he saw that the people playing the role of the guards had also forgotten their roles and were staring at him with stunned expressions.
The next line was supposed to come in.
Aizou looked at Yujiro, who was staring at him, his eyes wide with surprise.
Suddenly, he heard the sound of crackling applause from the empty seats. The director, Okido, who was watching from the middle of the first row, was clapping his hands. As if following his lead, the scriptwriter and Ikezaki, who had taught him dance and singing, sitting on either side of him, also started clapping. The staff members who were watching from the back of the second floor also began to clap.
Even Yujiro started smiling and applauding him.
The guards looked at each other and clapped while they laughed, looking impressed, even though it wasn’t the day of the performance.
Aizou squeezed his eyes shut and bowed.
On that day, the day of the competition, he felt the same. He’d been laughing proudly while standing on that stage.
💮
After the rehearsals were finished, the staff and his costars all came up to him, and started telling him “good job!”, referring to the scene with the song in it. Even Okido slapped Aizou’s shoulder and left without a word.
He must have gotten a pass from him.
(Really...I made it just in time...)
He knew he was ready for the challenge of tomorrow.
Strangely enough, he didn’t feel any anxiety.
Was this was self-confidence felt like? He felt like he could sing any song, any number of times. He sang his song during rehearsals, but it still didn’t feel like it was enough.
(I’m getting a little carried away...)
He felt like he was floating around in the air, and he couldn’t stop smiling. In any case, he was in the mindset of wanting to run through to the final day of the show while staying on top of things.
On the stage, the staff was clearing away the castle set and preparing the snowy mountain set. Behind it was a set of stairs that one could climb up. During the performance, smoke resembling a snowstorm or a snow plume would paint the stage white. The stage would be illuminated by snow, so it would be quite a beautiful view.
Smoke was used in the rehearsal that had just taken place, but since they were only going to do a final check of each scene, only the lighting was being used.
Yujiro received his bow from a staff member and climbed up the stairs of the snowy mountain. The staff on stage hurried off the stage with their tools.
(It’s almost time...)
Aizou put his hat on his head and was about to tie his rapier at his hip when he heard a clank. He looked up.
Yujiro’s bow dropped down the stairs.
And Yujiro, who had stopped mid-step, started to collapse, his body falling backwards. Aizou’s eyes widened and he threw his rapier out of the way, before he jumped forward as fast as he could, skipping a few steps as he went. He managed to catch Yujiro just in time, but ended up stumbling and falling on his ass.
Staff members ran up to them.
“Yujiro! Aizou! Are you okay?!” Manager Uchida looked worried.
“I’m fine...” Yujiro breathed, slowly trying to stand on his own. However, his face was extremely pale, and he nearly collapsed again. Aizou caught him and quickly slung his arm around his shoulder, slowly standing up with him.
💮
Yujiro was driven to a hospital and returned to the office by 6pm. When he asked, Manager Uchida told him that Yujiro was resting in the break room.
“Haa...” Aizou sighed in relief, and went to go check on him.
According to Manager Uchida, he was just weak from lack of sleep and hunger. Manager Uchida was also relieved and called Okido to report the incident as well. Aizou heard that the director was also very worried.
It was a good thing his body moved as quickly as it did. If Yujiro had fallen and gotten injured, it really wouldn’t have been good.
“...Haven’t you been eating?” Aizou asked, sitting across from Yujiro at the break room table.
Yujiro shook his head as he ate a rice ball. “I’ve been so busy, I ended up forgetting...” He mumbled, looking guilty. He was probably thinking about the uproar he’d caused.
“You forgot...you know it’s important to take care of yourself,” Aizou frowned. He’d noticed that during breaks, Yujiro would be napping and never touched his bento.
(I guess he hasn’t been sleeping much at home...)
“Well...I guess it’s my fault, partially. I’m your partner, so I should’ve been watching out for you better,” Aizou muttered, putting a hand to his forehead in distress.
“Ha?” Yujiro stared at him.
Aizou rested his elbows on the table and his cheek on his hand as he turned away from his partner.
“I’m...glad that you’re still acting the same, though. But are you going to be okay for tomorrow?”
“I’m fine. I was just hungry, and sleepy.”
“Damn...don’t you normally eat well at home?”
“I haven’t been.”
“Why not? Don’t you eat sukiyaki everyday?”
“Who eats sukiyaki everyday?” As Yujiro reached for his second rice ball, the door suddenly banged open, causing both boys to jerk at the sound.
“Yujiro, Aizou! I heard what happened!” It was the president, who ran over and squeezed them in a hug. “I can’t believe that we’ve been making you endure hunger to the point of collapse, and as president, I can’t overlook this! Tonight, I’m taking you to a yakiniku restaurant for a little pick-me-up!”
“Then I’m going to go research a place where we can eat top quality meat right now!” Manager Uchida pushed her glasses up and ran out of the room.
“You two, get ready. The meat is waiting for you!” The president winked and left the room, shutting the door behind her. It was silent for a moment, before cheers erupted from the hall.
“Some special yakiniku, huh...”
They glanced at each other and stood up. “Yay!” The two boys grinned at each other and high fived.
💮
The first day of the play was over. There were no major mistakes or problems, and the audience reaction was better than Aizou had imagined. The endless applause at the curtain call was still ringing in his ears even after the show was over.
Manager Uchida later told him that the performance was well received on social media.
It was not only the actors. Everyone involved, including the backstage staff, had worked together over the past few months to make the play a success. Aizou was more than happy that they appreciated that. The success of this first day was won by all.
The fans who came to see the show that day said, "It was great! I was so moved!”
Aizou was happy to receive the comments and impressions from the fans who came to see the show. He believed that they got to know them in a way that they could not show in their usual live performances or other jobs.
With the heat and afterglow of the performance still lingering, Aizou went to take another peek at the stage before leaving.
A few staff members were still working backstage.
The lights in the auditorium were off, with only the stage lights on. When he reached the edge of the stage, he found a fan left behind. He bent down to pick it up.
(This is Okido-san’s...)
After the meeting took place, he must have forgotten about it. Aizou laughed slightly as he remembered Okido getting frustrated and banging his fan all over the place during practice. It took a lot of hard work to get here.
But he managed to get through until today. He sat down and gazed at the uninhabited seats. Thinking back on the stage, he felt as though he were in a dream, as if he really was in another world.
Someone came over and sat by him.
“Being on stage is really fun...” Aizou said to Yujiro.
He now knew how Rino felt when she said she was happy to be on stage. He couldn’t wait to see the stage tomorrow and will probably not be able to sleep tonight with all the excitement. The anxiety and pressure that he had felt at first was not an issue for him at all anymore.
“Everyone laughed a lot, didn't they? Some of them were even crying afterwards.”
“The part that you ad-libbed was pretty funny, too.”
“Well, I am an idol and entertainer,” Aizou said confidently.
Yujiro rolled his eyes and laughed. “What? Who told you that one?”
“Morita-san did.”
He had even came and saw it, and he sent him a message saying how moved he was. FT4 had come as well, with Iv sending him a message about how they were all looking forward to it. They’d even given them flowers to celebrate, with a large flower stand brought from a flower shop standing proudly in the aisles.
“...Your mother. Did she come?”
“No, my family has a performance in Kyoto, so she’s been over there for a while. My brother is performing there...”
“Oh, I see...”
(So you haven’t been eating dinner, I’m guessing...)
He should have maids who could make him dinner, but if he’s been working into the late night, he’d be too tired to eat.
“You said she’ll be back by the last day, so maybe she’ll come see it then?”
“It’d be nice if my father saw it too.”
Aizou knew that Yujiro was always desperate for his father’s approval, and was always upset because he never received it.
Yujiro's decision not to leave the stage back then was probably not only out of rebellion against Okido, but because he wanted his father to see the seriousness with which he took on the challenge. That was why he stuck with his decision. Yujiro still wanted his father’s approval.
“If I back down now, then it’ll just confirm everything he’s said about us!”
His words hadn’t just been about Okido, but his father as well, who’d told him at a young age to give up.
“...You really want him to see you now, huh. Am I wrong?”
Yujiro looked down. “...Who knows? It’s probably not a good idea anyway.”
“You can probably bring your mother here. I mean, it’s only the premier of your first play, not kabuki. I’m sure if they saw you now, they’d reconsider...”
“It’s not that I want to go back. There’s nothing for me there now,” Yujiro murmured.
“I know,” Aizou said quietly. He’d asked Yujiro about it once, and he said that he was the one who chose the new path to become an idol.
“Father is father, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I think he didn’t have a choice in telling me to give up...”
“...Were you never allowed to stand on the kabuki stage?”
“There’s no way he would have let me. It was only my brother who could have...”
(That’s really messed up...)
If he had no intention of letting him perform on stage, why did he let him practice? It was cruel to put so many expectations on a child, only to rip his hope away from him.
Well, Aizou thought so, but since this was Yujiro's family, there was probably a lot of complications and reasons.
He continued to listen quietly as Yujiro spoke.
“But...once we went to a shrine to dedicate a dance there. I think it was for some sort of festival? Anyway, I was pretty upset because I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to do it, but...my brother let me do it, actually.”
“Heh...dance? Like a miko does?”
“It was a cool shirabyoshi dance. My father taught me how to do it before, so I went up to the shrine’s hall, danced to the flute, and everyone who was watching me applauded for me...but I was really upset afterwards. Because I knew that was the end of it,” Yujiro smiled bitterly, “but I knew that was the best my father would allow me to do at the time.”
Aizou listened silently and slightly opened the fan that Okido left behind.
He knew his father's situation and feelings, so he couldn’t even tell him that he wanted to be on stage any longer. But he never gave up and kept trying, and that was why he was here now.
Yujiro was the real winner, as he’d never given up.
(Really, he’s so stubborn...)
Aizou snapped the fan shut. “Hey...do you still remember that dance?”
“Eh?” Yujiro glanced at him. “Um...I’ve probably already forgotten it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done it...I haven’t danced it since that day.”
“You liar,” Aizou smirked and tossed the fan to Yujiro, who managed to catch it, looking surprised. “It would be a waste if you learned that entire dance only to perform it once. You should dance to it.”
Yujiro raised his eyebrows in confusion. “Here?”
“It’s fine, isn’t it? I’m here- I’m the only one watching,” Aizou smiled at him and walked off the stage.
This wasn’t the end. This was going to continue for a long time.
His stage- no, their stage would continue to grow.
“...I told you, I don’t remember it,” Yujiro sighed, as if he were troubled. He opened his fan once and snapped it shut. When he looked up, his expression had changed, as if he were motivated.
Aizou sat in a special seat in the front row and stared at Yujiro as he slowly danced with the fan in his hand. He claimed that he didn’t remember, but there was no hesitation in the movement of his feet or his hands.
There was no way Yujiro would forget the dance once he learned it. With the open fan in his hand, Yujiro quickly crouched down. When he stood up, he spun around in slow, flowing movements. He must have been dancing his heart out to the sound of the flute when he went up to the shrine's dance hall.
(I always knew you were amazing...)
Aizou smiled softly and kept those words to himself.
At that moment, he heard a few voices whispering.
“Don’t push!” Then the sound of something falling over was heard.
Aizou and Yujiro looked offstage in surprise to see Okido being crushed by several staff members. Apparently, he had been secretly watching Yujiro's dance there. Even Manager Uchida was with him.
“What are you doing..?” Yujiro asked them coolly.
Everyone got up in a panic.
“I’m here to pick you guys up!” Manager Uchida said, pushing her glasses up.
“I’m just here to get my fan!” Okido crossed his arms arrogantly, but his gaze was averted to the side.
(Really, what were they doing...)
Aizou got up and walked onto the stage to stand by Yujiro.
“But...really! That was a beautiful dance!” A female staff member told Yujiro, her eyes sparkling. The other staff members all nodded and grinned, murmurs of “I just witnessed something ethereal!” and “I’m so glad we stayed!”.
“Thanks...” Yujiro muttered curtly, looking like he was trying to hide his embarrassment. He closed the fan and handed it to Okido. “Sorry. I was just borrowing it.”
“I think I’m going to Yoshitsune and Shizuka Gozen for my next play!” Okido declared.
The staff all gasped.
“And I want you two to be the main characters!” He pointed at Aizou and Yujiro, who shared a look.
“...Well, that’s fine, but who’d play Shizuka?”
“Eh, won’t it be you?” Aizou blinked.
Okido nodded. “That dance just now was just like Shizuka Gozen’s...”
“See, even the director thinks so!” Aizou pointed out, causing Yujiro to wrinkle his eyebrows.
“I’m not giving up the role of Yoshitsune. Aizou, you should be Shizuka Gozen. You’d be a better fit.”
“I wouldn't be, though! I’ve worked really hard on my abs!”
“Your abs won’t matter. No one would see them!”
“It should be the right person for the right role!”
“Hm...if that’s the case, then you might do better a Benkei than Shizuka,” Yujiro put a hand to his mouth and laughed.
“That’s good enough, I guess...my abs won’t go to waste, that way!”
“Yoshitsune or Benkei...very well! It’s decided then!” Okido raised a fist in the air. “You two will be the stars, of course!” He patted their shoulders.
“If you want to offer them a job, you'll have to go through me, the manager!” Manager Uchida pushed her glasses up, causing the lens to shine.
“We’ll...talk about that later, then,” Okido said nervously.
(Uchida-san, you are strong...)
The first day had only just ended, and already he wanted to start running toward the next one. It made him want to open up more possibilities for themselves.
(I want to try more things...)
He would not let the dream they had one day end as a dream. They will turn it into reality. The power to do so was already within them.
So all they have to do is keep going, without fear.
Even in the midst of a storm, even in the steepest mountains. As long as they kept going, one day they will reach the world of “hope” that they had always wanted.
Until that time-
Aizou, who’d been staring out at the audience seats, looked over at his partner, who was standing next to him.
Yujiro glanced at him at the same moment, their eyes meeting.
They were definitely thinking the same thing.
With that in mind, the two of them started laughing.