@nom-de-plume-system and I have made yet another swap AU. Are you ready? No you’re not
Swaps
Jade + Obsidian
Peridot + Jet
Apatite (epic) + Dark
Koroit + Jasper
Mercury + Zuli
Silver + Zircon
Paraiba + Quartz
Names:
Obsidian: Rainbow Obsidian (“Ro”/“Ra”) (Intersex)
Jade: Monochrome (“Mono”) (Intersex)
Koroit: Koi
Zircon: Conium (“Coni” but only if he explicitly says you can call him that)
Silver: Argentum Quickstrike
Paraiba: Paraiba Tourmaline (“Pat”/“Patty”)
Mercury: Hydrargyrum (“Hydra”)
Jasper: Lucky
Zuli: Methylene (“Thylene”/”Lene”/”Thy”)
Peridot: Pallasite
Quartz: Vitrify
Apatite: Bromide (sometimes refers to self as ‘bruhmide’)
Jet: Embraer
Dark: Viper Quickstrike
Plot dump
Funnies & Fun Facts
There is also one (1) Lily Quickstrike. She is eight (8) years old. She killed Monochrome in at least one timeline. She’s also half positive spirit because Viper’s her dad. Also in the timeline where she kills Mono, she also gets a baby sister. after she commits murder. so that's neat
Nine years ago, Viper would never have imagined himself becoming a parent. It was never something that had occurred to him as a possibility. Who would he even have kids with?
But here he was. A married man, with a normal job, setting up a birthday party for his soon-to-be-8-year-old daughter with his spouse.
A clicking sound brought his attention to Argentum, who was standing under the living room doorway.
“Help me hang this up, please?” They signed, tucking the garland under their arm. “It’s not cooperating.”
Viper set down the bag of balloons he’d been blowing up. “What can I do?” He signed back, walking over.
“Hold this up while I pin it in place.” They offered him one end of the garland. “I can get the other side after.”
He did as they asked, and as Argentum hung the garland he couldn’t help thinking about how surreal it still felt.
He’d grown up in a place where he wasn’t really allowed to be a child. And he wasn’t ever given time to consider relationships beyond the friendships he already had. He hardly had time to take care of himself and Embraer, nevermind anyone else; especially not a kid of his own.
But here he was. With his biggest worry being Lily coming back from school before they could finish setting up her birthday party.
The only thing that could’ve made it better was Embraer being there.
Random thoughts about some blorbo ships and valentines plans:
The Diabolicule (FoJ): Nightshade wants to go out. Shale keeps rolling his eyes and saying he doesn’t do Valetine’s day stuff. Lucidity doesn’t really mind either way but Nightshade really wants to go and they both know that whatever Nightshade has planned is, more likely than not, something Shale would enjoy, so he gets dragged out anyway. they also sleep till like noon the next day which is not related to their going out (genuine; it’s related to what happened after they came back). The date is probably relatively low-level chaos causing. Nothing that really affects their plans but they’re having a lot of fun and at least a few people die for it.
Onyx and Raven: diabetes isn’t caused by excessive sugar intake, but if it was you’d end up with diabetic keto acidosis in ten minutes from standing too close to them today. Lots of little gifts and kisses. The spend the night watching lame romcoms and cuddling. The wake up the next morning on the couch with neck pain from sleeping on the sofa weird but they’re still in each other’s arms and don’t move for a while still.
Malachite and Pitch: best not to ask unless you want way too much information about what kind of bdsm shit they’re into. They have a very romantic dinner first though and get each other flowers. Malachite is also making jokes about usually charging extra on Valentine's Day. Pitch is being a sap and saying he'd pay double the 'Valentine's Special' just to see him. he gets a big kiss out of it. and now you need to back away from the blorbo camera before you see something you regret. or don't and keep looking idk up to you. they probably wouldn't mind that much anyways.
Curium and Basalt: nothing in particular, aside from Curium being a little shit about basalt not getting him flowers or something and basalt deciding to more forcefully make him shut up. curium only kind of regrets it.
Ro and Bromide: so many cookies. so much cuddling. also don't. go near ro's room for a little while. and don't ask about the rubber chicken noises
Spindle and Sparrow: Two weeks ago Spindle asked Sparrow to take the day off for Valentine's day and make the saddest most pathetic puppy eyes. Sparrow took the day off. Today Spindle brings him flowers and then takes him out for dinner and a movie. sparrow gives him a huge box of chocolates and feels bad that that's all he got him when Spindle had a whole Thing planned, but Spindle is still delighted and gives him a big kiss. and they return to their apartment and don't come out until sparrow has to go to work the next morning. for some reason he's got a little white and gold bandana around his neck? probably unrelated (sarcasm). spindle having a little more of a limp than usual is also probably totally unrelated (also sarcasm)
Glaze and Corvus: Corvus plans out a whole date and then tries to ask and gets so nervous she almost can't do it. glaze encourages her though and corvus manages, and they are not seen the rest of the day. when they come home they both are covered in lipstick marks, and have these little smiles on their faces. the only reason they don't stay the night together is because the world is ending and after such a busy day they're afraid to wear themselves out so much that they're useless in a fight tomorrow. maybe one day though they won't have to worry about that...
Cherry and Lime: They forgot it was valentine's day and decided they just wanted to watch movies together in their room. later they're asked how their valentine's day plans went. they blink in confusion before going ",,,OH. shit. that was today." they both enjoyed their day though and any ideas they may have had don't have to happen specifically today, so they're not too upset. guess they'll just have to go out tomorroowww when it'll probably be a little cheaper anyways because there's not like 50000 couples going on daaaaaaates oh nooooooo what a shaaaaaaame
Yeah I don't have a lot to think of initially. Since she's a glitch (i forgor for a second 💀) she wouldn't remember any family or friends she cares about. however... idea: what if Ro found her first. Even if Mono is known by practically everyone, Ro is actually fairly unknown except to those under Mono already. idjxjdnd... what if Ro actually saved Koi from the void. But by the time Mono found out and tried to threaten her, Koi was clever enough to know he could threaten her but her powers would kick his butt (though not kill him unfortunately brokenhearted emoji), he couldn't kill her without him breaking Ro's entire trust and that he couldn't hurt Ro, and since she didn't want to work for his evil cause but keep a close eye on Ro she was of the mindset of "he can't threaten me. he can't kill Ro. he can't even push me down. I'll cook and bake and clean because I'm really good at that, but Mono cannot make me do anything else." Her ❤️❤️❤️💖💖❤️💖✨️💖❤️✨️
honestly dude I’d only just realized when i was answering that ask that we’d left a little plot hole there WOCJFURHD
Ro would probably figure out one way or another that Koi was sticking around because she was worried about him/wanted to keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay. And while he might get a ‘does she think I can’t take care of myself…?’ feeling from it I think, by the time he hears that, she’ll have unwittingly cemented her place as Mom Friend so he’s not so much hurt as he is confused. But also touched. She worries about him <:]
Alternative scenario tho: Mono did still save her, and Hydra is the final straw that breaks the last bit of faith that Koi had in Monochrome.
She’d come to care about him a lot too. So when Monochrome finds out she’s plotting against him and/or trying to get herself and Hydra (and hopefully Ro, but she’s being extra careful there so mono might only have vague suspicions and no evidence on that one) out, Monochrome decides Hydra can be quite useful after all.
Monochrome can’t hurt Ro. But Hydra is little more than a toy now. And an easily replaceable one, at that. It won’t be hard to come up with a convincing lie for Ro as to why his best friend can’t visit anymore.
It would be such a shame if something happened to him, wouldn’t it? And it’d be terribly dangerous to try and get him out! So many accidents could happen. Koi had better stay here and make sure Hydra stays safe <33
OR or or. the secret third option: your idea + the meat of my idea with Hydra. Ro finds her, she stays to keep an eye on Ro, but as she becomes friends with Hydra Mono decides he wants a little extra assurance that Koi won’t try anything.
Oh right I said I was gonna talk about the sadist bean AUs
So there are these AUs of the OG, Extreme, Horror, and Polychromatic JMV AUs. The polychromatic one is like in its baby stage still but they’re all essentially a villain swap while not really messing with much else. There’s similar versions of og and extreme DINTIS as well, but the Extreme one is much more fleshed out and only because of how much I love to torture Ebony.
Prior to Polychromatic being added to the mix, the JMV ones were collectively referred to as the Sadist Green Bean AUs. The DINTIS ones were just Sadist Dark AU and Sadist Void AU. I’ll talk about them in another post
In all four AUs, things look almost exactly the same on the surface. There’s a few small differences, though; differences that are more obvious if you end up in the manor rather than just getting stuck in the MV. They also vary based on which manor you end up in
Obsidian (‘Slate’), Biotite (‘Graphite’), Basalt (‘Basil’), and Monochrome (no nickname) appear to be terrorizing the multiverse for their own amusement and gain. Basalt’s goals are a mystery, still.
Murder and destruction of property are their only crimes.
Everyone in the og and polychromatic manors seem a little happier, and a little more relaxed. Not that they are happy or anything, they’re just not as miserable.
Why not Extreme and Horror?
Well, Curium hasn’t changed, so jot that down
In the extreme AU’s case, it’s because there is no filter between the team and the one giving orders.
Jade (‘Chartreuse’), Emerald (‘Ivy’), Idocrase (no nickname), and Ro (no nickname) are the ones pulling the strings, and the other spirits from their MVs listen to them.
Slate, because the alternative is death. Chartreuse is the one who truly wants this, and he’s making Slate be the face of his war of conquest. Even to the rest of the team. The only person besides the two of them who know is Zuli, and he’s also been threatened into silence. But Slate does what little he can to make things easier on the others, even though getting caught would have severe consequences. He also does what he can to mitigate damage by twisting Chartreuse’s orders, and only just getting done what Chartreuse asked for. If Slate wasn’t there, or Chartreuse started giving orders himself, things would be much worse.
Graphite, because he still thinks Ivy cares about him. The curtain has been pulled back, so the team knows he doesn’t really want this. But Ivy’s a manipulative little asshole, and Graphite has convinced himself that if it’s what Ivy wants, then he wants to help. Chrys isn’t any better, though Ivy treats him significantly better so he’s Ivy’s second in command. He and Graphite don’t get along great.
Basil, because he’s absolutely terrified. Idocrase once told him he had a plan to make sure the villagers never tried to hurt Basil again, and needed help to pull it off. This resulted in the entire village burning down. And Ido genuinely thinks this was the best solution. A small mistake much later down the road (telling Idocrase about someone being a dick to him for no real reason) convinced Ido that no one would ever treat Basil fairly just because of how he was born, so the only thing to do is to get rid of everyone who will hurt Basil. And he asked for Basil’s help, because he couldn’t imagine he wouldn’t want to help. And Basil was too scared to say no.
Monochrome, because Ro claims it’s for him. That he’s trying to help. And despite how much Mono hates this, and how wrong this whole thing feels, he can’t say no to Ro. Even though Ro actively pushes him to do things he doesn’t want to do, after he’s said he doesn’t want to do it.
Oh but wait! There’s more!
There’s sub-AUs of the first three called the Doll AUs. ‘Android’ would be more accurate, but I was playing Your Turn To Die when the idea first came, so most of how the android work is inspired by that.
Slate isn’t meant to know that he’s an android, and discovering that he is one starts a downward spiraling existential crisis that results in him fucking up everything for Chartreuse (the resistance got him <3). Graphite I think found out somewhat by accident and has accepted it. Basil was told almost immediately because Ido didnt want to lie about it.
Doll Slate and Doll Graphite also have two different versions. One in which it’s just the doll, and one in which they’re copies—complete with false memories, at least in Slate’s case—of the original Obsidian and Biotite. Who are currently in comas.
Doll Basil only has the Doll Copy timeline.
In all versions, the green beans are the ones who made the androids. In the timelines where they’re meant to be copies of pre-existing people, they were made as a final, desperate, last-ditch attempt to wake up the ones in comas. It was supposed to kinda work like a voodoo doll, so they were made as close to the original as they could be; right down to having their memories. But it didn’t work.
Chartreuse and Ivy decided they may as well make their creation useful.
Idocrase was heartbroken, and considered just dismantling Basil, but he didn’t have the heart to do it so he explained everything. This was fine until the omnicidal plans were laid out, because this version of Basil has extra reason to fear Idocrase: Ido created him, and Ido could very easily destroy him. Or, perhaps worse, reprogram him to actually be willing.
I love tormenting them all :3 I especially love making slate and basil find their MV’s versions of Rose and get attached so they have to choose between keeping their beloved safe (and also keeping away simply because once rose and thorn realize who they are the girls aren’t super eager to hang out At All) and getting a tiny taste of the kind of normal life they’ve so desperately wanted for as long as they can remember.
Ro, full corrupt, ends up being captured by Justice Reigns. Rather than simply execute him, though, he's brought to the labs, because they want to study that acid his tail makes.
He slowly "befriends" a few of the scientists, who eventually break him out. He's just a big sweetheart and they feel bad :(
there's a few more bits to the story but they're gonna go in a dedicated nsfw post
Calico cat monster: Calli, intersex guy
Slime monster: Viscous, incomprehensible
Human: Azure, masc enby
Viscous
The most mischievous
Very physically affectionate
Vis does have a gender, but it’s 100x easier to say ‘nonbinary’ or even just ‘none’. It’s funnier to say ‘none’ though. A slime’s concept of gender is not something you can easily explain.
"okay, well...what are your pronouns?" - "something that you are physically incapable of pronouncing without several years of voice training and some reconstructive surgery. use whatever"
Xe have complex eyes like humans do, but also a lot of simple eyes that are essentially just pigment spots. Xe use this for much of xer mischief.
While they are still eyes, what Viscous sees through those is very different from what xe sees through xer complex eyes
Xe look so sweet and innocent. but that’s how xe get you watch out. Really though, xe are very much not innocent. Xe can be very sweet, though
Calli
Also mischievous, and assumed to be The most mischievous, but nope. Its vis
Colorblind
Also very physically affectionate.
Purrs. But i probably didn’t need to say that. The cat has to purr it’s required by law
Azure
Also colorblind.
they've got several things with pride flags on them. things that, colorblind as they are, they were really sure were nonbinary flags, but a lot of them aren't. They wear them anyway because goddammit, they paid for these things, they’re gonna wear them
The least mischievous.
That said, they still are mischievous. They just ended up being the most responsible of the three
