THE ""OFFICIAL"" SCHEDULE. AS DECLARED BY ME. YOuR MOST HuMBLE OF LORDS.
APRIL 5th: SIGN-uPS OPEN
APRIL 22nd: SIGN-uPS CLOSE
MAY 2nd: ASSIGNMENTS GIVEN
MAY 26th: DEFAuLT DEADLINE
JuNE 6th: ASSIGNMENTS DuE
JuNE 13th: COLLECTION OPENS
JuNE 20th: GIFTERS REVEALED / TREATS REVEALED
JuNE 23rd: TREAT GIFTERS REVEALED
ARTISTIC RENDERINGS OF THIS. LAuGHABLY SIMPLE SCHEDuLE. WILL BE POSTING TOMORROW. AFTER MY BITCHMADE ARTHACK SISTER COMPLETES HER NEFARIOuS DOODLES. DO NOT COMPLIMENT HER. OR ENCOuRAGE DELAY.
THIS ""POLYGAMOuS SWAP"" WILL TAKE PLACE. OVER 79 GRuELING DAYS. YOuR PARTICIPATION IS MANDATORY. IN THE 35 DAYS OF COMPLETING MY. I MEAN YOuR. GIFT. TO ME. THAT IS TO SAY. YOuR GIFT. TO YOuR ASSIGNED FOOL. SuBMIT ACCORDINGLY.
FOOLISH. EMBITTERED PEONS. IT IS NOW TIME TO PARTICIPATE. IN MY GLORIOuS POLYSWAP. THERE ARE TWO FACTIONS. WHICH YOu CAN JOIN. I HAVE uSED THE OLD WARNINGS. FROM PREVIOuS YEARS. TO MAKE THE RESTRICTIONS. CLEAR. TO YOuR EMPTY BRAINS. YOu ARE SO GRATEFUL. I CAN TELL. HAA HAA HAA.
PROSPIT SIGN-UP — DERSE SIGN-UP
Remember: THE BASIC RULES! TOTAL ANONYMITY throughout event. NO assignment swapping OR discussion in public spaces. PROSPIT is ALL AGES with a rating limit, DERSE is 18+ with no rating limit. ALL assignments are given by email. NO shipping wars or participant bullying allowed.
Handy-dandy sign-up reminders for REQUESTS:
3 TO RIDE RULE! You must have THREE [3] Homestuck Prime prompts as a bare minimum, then up to three prompts focused on alternative Homestuck properties such as Pesterquest or Paradox Space or even something niche like Beyond Canon.
ALL requests must include 3 characters, but can include up to 6!
Each request must be ship unique. Spice up that EriDirkFef with a surprise contender, or try out a polyship you want to be sold on.
Mention EVERY relevant squick, to help us mods match you to the perfect gifter! [Squicks include: NOTPs, particular topics, or phonetic quirks. You may also write a Dear Gifter Letter.]
Keep your prompt open-minded! We have artists, authors, and MORE in this event. Your prompt ought to be engaging to all creative types... just in case! [Trying to write your prompt for only one kind of creative fill, like art, is against the rules.]
This is not a commission. Your request is a fun prompt, NOT a list of requirements.
Handy-dandy sign-up reminders for OFFERS:
When matching, more is always better. Listing AT LEAST TEN [10] CHARACTERS you can create a gift about is great, but listing more helps you find the perfect giftee!
ALL squicks, please! If you won't make something for a ship, a character, or a theme: let us know in your offer!
Oh no! Your roommate is participating, or you've already gifted someone last year, or you're really not vibing with that one guy... Keep the mods informed on such matters, in your OFFER only!
DETAILS!!!! Got a favorite prompt? A favorite polyship? A favorite theme? A favorite creative avenue? We just gotta know!
Sometimes... Mods have the perfect match... but AO3 won't allow us make the connection without adjusting your offer slightly. If you're feeling adventurous, tell us!
As always, act in good faith! Also, uh... make sure your AO3 has a working email attached, or you're NOT getting those assignments.
... Hey, didn't we post this last year? Wait a second—
THAT IS ALL. FOR NOW. RETuRN TO THE PIT. WORM. WRITHE. PITIFuLLY. THIS IS ALL YOu ARE PERMITTED TO DO.
so... we saw the last post! and. well, we are still here! in fact—
YOu THINK YOu'RE SAFE? THAT YOuR STuPID BITCH RING CAMERA. AND CHAIN LOCKS. AND FLIMSY PLANK OF WOOD IN THE MIDDLE. CAN SEPERATE YOu FROM MY REACH? CAN DEAFEN YOuR EARS FROM THE DEMANDS I AM SPEAKING TO THEM? WELL. IT PROBABLY CAN. BuT WHAT IT CANNOT DO. IS SHuT ITSELF. ON THIS GLORIOuS. AND ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME. THAT IS. YOuR LIFETIME. OPPORTuNITY. THAT IS RIGHT. BITCHES.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. and distingUished others.
WE HAVE A LATER.
SIGN-uP DATE.
FOR THIS WEEK. AND THIS WEEK ONLY. april 20th to april 26th! <smiles!> YOu MAY SIGN uP FOR POLYSWAP. TO WRITE. NOT ONE. NOT TWO. BuT THREE PLuS (3+) CHARACTERS. DOING uNGODLY uNTOLD. SWEET NOTHINGS. AND SWEETER SOMETHINGS. EACH TO ONE ANOTHER. FOR THE GOOD OF THE CAuSE.
WHAT CAuSE YOU MAY ASK? A JuST ONE! A HEROIC ONE! FANFICTION. LIKE NO OTHER. THE POLYSHIP SWAP. THE ONLY. CALIBORNIA GIRLS. SPONSORED EVENT. EVER. IN THE HISTORY OF FAKE. FICTIONAL. MADE-uP. BuLLSHIT.
........... <ahem!> have fUn with the extra time to sign Up! don't worry aboUt the moderators thoUgh. they're fine! ^u^
IT HAS COME TO MY. IMPOSSIBLY PERFECT ATTENTION. CONTAINED WITHIN MY ENORMOuSLY HANDSOME GREEN SKULL, WHICH IS ALSO. MY BEAuTIFuL HEAD. ANYWAY. MY ATTENTION HAS GRACED YOuR PITIFuL SWAP. WHICH WILL SOON DRAW TO A CLOSE. YES. IT IS. DEFAuLT DAY. THE FINAL DAY TO DEFAuLT ON YOUR HIDEOuS GIFTS WITHOuT CONSEQuENCE. SHAMEFuL. DISGuSTING. THE NERVE OF THESE EVENT ORGANIZERS. TO PERMIT SuCH KINDNESS. IT MAKES ME. SWEAT WITH MIRTH.
MY BITCH SISTER HAS DECLARED THAT I, AS YOuR LORD AND SAVIOR, WOuLD BE THE ONE TO TELL YOu. THERE WILL BE NO PENALTIES FOR THE DEFAuLTERS OF THIS DAY. YOu COuLD EVEN, IS SO INCLINED, "PINCH A HIT" TO MAKE uP THAT SHATTERED. GOOD. WILL. WHAT? WHAT DO YOu WANT.
oh, and! since we are here, with your Undivided attention, i shoUld mention. the event is still taking sign-Ups for pinch-hitting. yoU coUld be one of the many heroes who saves polyswap. isn't that lovely?
[bad words]. [oh dear!]. YOuR MEDDLING ASS. BESMIRCHES MY ALMIGHTY ANNOuNCEMENTS.
STOP DOING THAT. TO MY BEAuTIFuL PROSE.
hUsh! honestly. i can NOT take him anywhere. please sUbmit yoUr pinch hitter applications to the following e-mail address: [email protected]!! yoUr A-O-3 handle and preferred swap, derse or prospit, is all we reqUire! thoUgh it woUld be helpfUl to have a discord handle as well… for coordination. ow! what was that for!
IGNORING ME. THIS IS MY TAKEOVER. MY DOMINION.
(sigh…) i sUppose that's all i had to say.
WHAT? NO. I AM NOT A BORE. I AM FINISHED ALSO. BEGONE, PEONS. FINISH YOuR GIFTS. DONATE THEM. TO ME. HEE HEE.
BEHOLD. AN OFFICIAL GRAPHIC TO HERALD. THE POLYSHIP SWAP FOR 2026. WHICH HAS BEEN ORGANIZED BY ME. AND ME ALONE. WITH NOTHING BuT FuRNISHINGS FROM A CERTAIN WHORE SISTER.
YOu WILL JOIN. YOu WILL PARTICIPATE. YOu ARE COMPELLED TO CRAFT. MOST DISGuSTING ARRAYS OF GIFTS FOR OTHER PARTICIPATING FOOLS. BuT REALLY. ALL OF YOuR OFFERINGS. BELONG TO ME. HEE HEE.
IF YOuR PuNY MIND IS BESET BY STuPID BITCH QuESTIONS. SPIT IT OuT. INTO THE ASKBOX. I MIGHT RESPOND. I MIGHT GuT YOu FOR WASTING MY PRECIOuS TIME. IT IS A MYSTERY. ONLY SOLVABLE. BY PEONS uTILIZING THE CORRECT COMMuNICATION CHANNELS.
YOuR CONSCRIPTION. BEGINS APRIL 5. HAA HAA. HOO HOO.
