i don’t feel like switching accounts to ramble so you will see me word vomit (cry profusely to cope) abt hsr pls and thank you;
hi i am absolutely not ready for 1.3–1.8 updates (if they do it like genshin does. & if they even make it that far with xianzhou stuff) because i am NOT ready to see jing yuan’s outcome >:/
they had ended 1.2 so perfectly to give us 3 different conclusions and i HATE THEM FOR IT.
1. he could be completely fine. sure he’s injured, but he he’s not a general for no reason. but that’s pretty anticlimactic and i don’t think they’d do that anyway.
2. he retires. sure it’s still a bit sad bc we love him & the luofu loves him, but. it’s about time for him to go. he never wanted to be in charge to begin with. he’s tired. he’s wearing down. & believe it or not— even ‘immortal’ bodies can last so long.
3. he dies. he was already struggling after phantylia’s battle— so it’s not insane to assume that he’s now slowly being consumed with mara. (also if you cannot see the parallels between jing yuan + jingliu, and jing yuan + yangqing, i DONT know what to tell you)
as much as i don’t want this man to die— i think it’d be best for him. he’s thousands of years old, by this point. he’s tired. he’s been through TOO MUCH. he’s watched the four people he held dear die, and change completely over time. (none of them even remember him the same way he remembers them. they’ve moved on, and made new friends in a new lifetime.) his memories are probably starting to fade, and at that point— why keep going, right?? memories of happier days are all he had left.
specifically, i think it’d be best if yangqing kills him. as sad and as fucked as that is— at least he’ll have at least one person he’s come to hold dear at his death bed. gives him the illusion that he didn’t die completely alone, even though he did. maybe he can dream of his old friends during his eternal sleep. <3
ANYWAY; im not a theorist so im not gonna claim that any of these are gonna happen. who knows maybe hoyo will spin him around and he’s completely fine. i just like sharing my word thoughts.
Just to explain why I’ve hardly been on the past week or so - haven’t even watched Sunday’s ep yet.
I’ll put it below a cut to save those of you who don’t want to read about my shitty life. Also may include TMI on bodily functions. You have been warned.
Let’s cut to the shittiest week, of shitty weeks
So a couple of weeks ago I started having incredibly strong cramps in my bowel, beyond my normal IBS pain. And the pain would come in waves every couple of minutes and last 24 hours or more. It would also trigger my vagus nerve so was giving me the feeling of a panic attack with each cramp (but without any related emotions). Basically it was deeply unpleasant and made me just be able to lie in bed and do nothing while it was happening.
I saw a doctor who explained it, changed some meds etc. And told me to come back at the end of this week to feel my bowel again make sure it felt less full (as she felt constipation was playing a part).
Then last Tuesday my uncle died. He had been ill on and off for the past two years with breathing problems, so it wasn’t a huge surprise but he is my closest uncle, so it’s sad all the same.
Wednesday i got the terrible cramps and vagus nerve trigger for over 24 hours. I took the super strong laxatives and had a clear out, but I decided i needed to see the doc to get SOMETHING to deal with the cramps/pain cos I just couldn’t cope.
On Wednesday I also got a phone call saying that I had to go for a medical assessment on Friday, for me disability benefit/welfare (to decide once again if they think i am ill or not. Awesome).
So Friday I had another doc’s appointment, (another change of meds), then had to stay awake all day to go to my medical, which was delayed by 50 mins. (I’ve no idea how it went though it was shorter than the last one) In the evening I had a very watery bowel, but assumed it was the left over from the laxatives.
Then Saturday afternoon my best friend’s dad died - he’s just been given 6 months to live a couple of weeks ago. So it was a bit of a shock.
Saturday evening watery bowel returned with a vengeance, and I also had a permanent agonising pain in between my shoulder blades in my gullet.
I also got a threatening letter demanding money from my bank - I was made bankrupt 2 months ago and for some reason their credit card division just has not got the message
Sunday I tried to eat normally and was just in SO much pain in my gullet, burping hundreds of times, and I realised basically 3 hours after I ate everything left my body at speed - down the way.
Monday I went BACK to the doctors for reassurance over the diarrhoea and pain in my gullet. Doctor was very reassuring that it was JUST severe IBS, huge amounts of acid in my stomach and STRESS. Another change of meds.
However, she also felt my bowel again and said she can feel a lump - she believes it’s in my uterus. So she’s referred me for an ultrasound in a few weeks.
THEN I had to go to the bank to try and get that sorted. Thankfully some VERY nice women really went to town to sort it all out - although it means ALL my accounts have been locked and closed (but the awesome woman made sure i went to the cash machine and took my money out before that happened). But just as I had faced, they were being sent from department to department, and NOTHING went right.
I ended up being there for 2 hours until the bank closed and it still wasn’t completely sorted, but the awesome lady had me fill in a form and sign it so she had my authorisation to complete it all without me.
Bowel still doing its impression of Brexit 3 hours after I eat. I spent the entire day crying on and off. Even reading the sympathy cards in the store had me crying. Thankfully my AWESOME Mum was with me the whole day and is the best and rallying me, keeping me distracted and okay. (Due to all this I had to miss celebrating mother’s day with her and my brothers, and don’t even have a gift for her).
Anyway, today has been a bit better - new med seems to be working on the acid already, and I managed to eat some hummus and keep hold of it. (still waiting to see how it goes) My best friend and her sister came here so I could scan some photos for them for the funeral - which made me feel better as I was feeling shit for not being able to go see her.
And I have my uncle’s funeral on Thursday and my best friend’s dad’s funeral on Friday - 2 funerals in 24 hours.
All this on top of the fact, hey I have a chronic illness. woooooooo
Awesome.
So I hope you will understand WHY fandom and TWD has really not been in the forefront of my mind.
starting a fight just to get rocked by 5-13 people who had NO PRIOR CORRELATION to each other is absolutely insane. (no sympathy for them though they highkey deserved that)
also like a million props to the dude who SWAM over there 😭 mvp frfr
