Name: Pool Cleaner
Debut: Plants vs. Zombies
Pool Cleaner has always been more than just a pool cleaner to me. This is an animal. It senses its surroundings, it interacts with its environment. If Pool Cleaner turned its funnel to you, you would be perceived, not in the uncomfortable way of a strange human making eye contact with you, but the magic of a wild deer noticing you, one of nature’s gifts acknowledging your existence. Validating you. Rejoice! You are not in this world alone. Just as you perceive creatures whose thoughts you cannot begin to comprehend, so too do these beings wonder how in the world your mind works. Why do you do what you do? How do you know to do it? I am still talking about a fictional pool cleaner, by the way.
Pool Cleaner is simply a replacement for Lawn Mowers, which are an emergency line of defense that, when touched by a zombie, will travel down that lane, destroying any zombie in its path. Lawn Mowers make an appearance in real life, too, where they are used by dads to create ecological dead zones. A lawn mower can’t function in water, though, silly! So silly, for someone to even entertain the thought. It will kill a zombie at the edge of the pool, but just sink when it enters the water. So that is where Pool Cleaner comes in!
Look at it go! It is made to do this! Pool Cleaner behaves in a pool as a Lawn Mower does on land, but better, because it is like a robot and an animal. It will not just destroy zombies. It will EAT them! I told you it was an animal. Pool Cleaner’s natural diet consists of mainly dead bugs and dead leaves, but dead humans are just fine, too.
Pool Cleaner seems to be inspired by the species Polaris vacsweep in particular, which are available online for quite a lot of money, but please, remember. Be responsible. Adopt, don’t shop.
