Shattered (Crankiplier)
Summary-
After Ethan gets hate comments he begins to doubt himself and his insecurities shine to a new light. Mark knows something's wrong and is determined to help his blue angel.Both are crushing on each other but neither are willing to confess . But after Mark reads the comments he's fueled by anger and makes a youtube video accidently confessing his love.
Third person Pov
Ethan was just reading through comments of his channel Crankgameplays. He read through them with a small smile as he came across a specific comment telling him he had helped them get through their depression. Knowing he helped someone even if it was just a bit made his heart swell with joy he had always been insecure about making a difference in life.
Those insecurities are still there just not nearly as strong as the blue haired YouTuber continued scrolling through the comments of his newest video his radiating smile turned into a heartbroken expression.
Do you hear that It’s the sound of nobody caring
Lol nobody could ever love you
Kys
Is it just me or is Ethan getting fat? No offense.
It’s not like he wasn't used to hate comments, in fact, that was just part of being a YouTuber but the hate comments had never been nearly as harsh or merciless.
Ethan’s
Pov
They are true, though ….. nobody cares about me much less love me. And would anyone even notice if I was suddenly gone? Probably not and it is true I have gained a couple of pounds.
Was it really that noticeable? Was I really that fat? I already knew the answer standing up from my computer chair that I usually film my videos at I pulled up my striped T-shirt. I pinched and prodded at my slightly toned stomach looking for non-existent body fat. I sat down as tears streamed down my face why hadn’t someone told me how fat I had gotten?
A knock at my door pulled me out of my thoughts I couldn’t let anyone see how weak I was especially Mark who I have a crush on. He wouldn't care about me anyways he’d only make fun of me my subconscious said. Mark opened my bedroom door and approached me.
‘’ Ethan I’ve been invited to a youtube event dinner and I was wondering if you'd like to come with ‘’ Mark asked.
The comments were racing through my mind over and over opening new wounds and insecurities.
‘’ Sorry Mark I have to edit videos ‘’ I lied.
Mark spun my computer chair around forcing my light green iridescent eyes to meet his unique chestnut brown eyes. As soon as he saw me his gaze changed to that of concern.
‘’ Ethan...have you been crying ?’’ Mark’s deep voice asked somewhat softly.
Oh god, he caught me but I can’t let him know about the comments.
‘’ Haha no of course not it’s just allergies ‘’
Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid you couldn't think of anything else could you Ethan? Mark looked at me with a knowing gaze and I knew I hadn't fooled him.
‘’ Ethan I've known you long enough to know it’s not just allergies. Now please tell me what’s wrong .’’
‘’ Mark I am fine and nothing's wrong but you should probably get going to that event otherwise you’ll be late ‘’
‘’ Fine I suppose you're right just know that this isn't we’ll continue this conversation when I get back ‘’ Mark had said it so determinedly that I knew there was no arguing.
‘’ Fine ‘’ I sighed
‘’ Bye Ethan ‘’ he said before running out of the apartment Tyler, Mark, and I share.
‘’ Bye ‘’ I whispered.
I shut my computer before lying in bed skipping dinner. I fell asleep with thoughts of youtube and the horrible comments raiding my mind.
Marks
pov
Something was completely and utterly wrong with Ethan and I knew it. Ethan had a tendency to hide things behind a fake smile when he was upset or conflicted. I had seen something flicker in his unique light green eyes.
Everyone had always said that eyes were the window to the soul and that especially applied to Ethan. Yet today there was no spark no mischievous glint ….no nothing they were just devoid of life almost empty.
And that alone scared me to death, my blue angel, my reason to live, ….my life had given up. I knew he had been crying no matter how much he had tried to hide it I had noticed the tear stains as well as his eyes darkening a shade.
Had I done something wrong, had the playful insults become too much, had he gotten tired of me, and most of all had the stress of Youtube finally gotten to him? Oh god, I sure hoped not but like I said I would find out there was absolutely no way I would let this slide.
If someone or something was troubling Ethan it had just become my problem as well as my main concern. No one and I mean nothing gets away with harming my Ethan.
All I need to do now is suffer through this event and then I can come home and find out what had been troubling Ethan.
I arrived at the dinner and sat by Tyler. Tyler knows about my crush on Ethan.
‘’ Where’s Ethan ?’’ Tyler asked I just gave him a worried look before speaking.
‘’ I tried getting him to go but when I asked him he declined but he had tear streaks on his face he had clearly been crying but played it off as allergies ..it obviously wasn't allergies Tyler something's wrong with him and I’m worried .’’
Tyler stared at me for a moment as if he was pondering my stupidity before finally speaking.
‘’ Mark what the hell are you even doing here? Ethan clearly needs you whatever he’s hiding must be serious I can take your place meeting the fans but you need to go find Ethan .’’ I nodded quickly desperate to find Ethan.
‘’ Thanks, Tyler ‘’ I said while getting up from my seat.
‘’ No problem and hey Mark ?’’
‘’ Yeah ?’’
‘’ You need to tell him before it’s too late ‘’
‘’ I know I’ll try ‘’
With that said I ran to my car and started driving as fast as I could tripping once or twice along the way.
(Time skip at home )
As I approached Ethan's room I found him sound asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake him he looked so adorable his electric blue hair was sprayed across his face while his long arms hung limply off the bed. I looked around the room and found his computer curious as to what video Ethan had edited I opened the computer to find Ethan’s recent video.
But that’s not what caught my attention what caught my attention was the comment section……..
I nearly cried I honestly nearly cried as I read some of the many comments.
You're ugly why don’t you go kill yourself
you're only famous because of Mark
Do you hear that It’s the sound of nobody caring Lol nobody could ever love you Kys Is it just me or is Ethan getting fat? No offense.
Rage, regret, love, and sorrow filled me all at once. I felt rage towards the many people who had commented these vile things quite honestly it made me want to find these people one by one and make them regret ever hurting my blue angel.
The feeling of regret was strong because I had teased Ethan many times sometimes I took it a little too far and who knows what horrible things could be running through his mind by now.
I felt love for Ethan he had been through so much and yet he still acted happy for others. He was just so selfless and adorable I could be having the worst day ever and one look at him made my day.
But most of all I felt sorrow for not realizing sooner, sorrow forever teasing Ethan, sorrow at just thinking about what Ethan had gone through, and lastly, I felt sorrow for the people who couldn't grasp how truly amazing Ethan is.
Scheming an idea I softly set Ethan’s computer down and walked out the door but not before I looked at Ethan one last time.
I ended up in my studio where I record video’s I took a deep breath before looking at the camera. As soon as the camera started recording I started with my usual intro.
‘’Hello everyone Markiplier here ‘’I gave a little wave before becoming serious once more
‘’ This video isn't about gaming or anything funny in fact it’s quite important. Lately, my friend Ethan or Crankgameplays as you know him has been staying with me. Anyways he’s been gaining a lot of subscribers lately and as you know more subscribers come with more hate as well. But the hate he’s been getting is overwhelming there are people telling him to kill himself! And before you say anything you would regret no he didn't tell me about the hate I found out myself. The hate needs to stop and it needs to stop now! I …… can’t lose him because the truth is ….I-I love him. If something were to ever happen to him I would never be the same and Markiplier would be no more. At this point, I don’t care whether or not you support it if you do thank you if not then why are you still on my channel? Anyways this is a warning quit posting hate comments. Oh, and for those who ship Crankiplier your one more step closer to it becoming reality I can only hope he won’t reject me .‘’
After pouring my heart out over camera I titled the video ‘ATTENTION viewers’ before uploading the video.
Ethan’s
Pov
My phone gave off a quiet ding alerting me of my notifications, sighing I yawned and then stretched my arm across my bed to reach my phone on the nightstand. Turning it on I was surprised to see youtube had alerted me of a new video from Mark.
Clicking on it I was surprised to see the video titled ‘ATTENTION viewers '. This must be important because Mark rarely ever does serious videos. I was surprised to see the video had 1,101,760 views it had just been uploaded a little while ago. So why does it have so many views? Deciding to watch the video I tapped the play button and waited for it to start.
‘’Hello everyone Markiplier here ‘’ Mark gave a little wave but I frowned something about this seemed off.
‘’ This video isn't about gaming or anything funny in fact it’s quite important. Lately, my friend Ethan or Crankgameplays as you know him has been staying with me. ‘’What does this have to do with me? He seems so serious there's no way this is just about me staying with him. ‘’ Anyways he’s been gaining a lot of subscribers lately and as you know more subscribers come with more hate as well. ‘’ Oh god please please please tell me he didn’t find out about the hate comments! But the hate he’s been getting is overwhelming there are people telling him to kill himself! ‘’
I shuddered Mark found out he freaking found out. A-and now everyone's gonna think I’m some wimp that needs Mark to protect me!
’’ And before you say anything you would regret no he didn't tell me about the hate I found out myself .’’ I gave a sigh of relief at least some of my fears hadn’t been exploited.
’’ The hate needs to stop and it needs to stop now!’’
Just because you made a video about it doesn't mean it’s gonna stop if anything It will only become worse.
’’I …… can’t lose him because the truth is ….I-I love him. If something were to ever happen to him I would never be the same and Markiplier would be no more. At this point, I don’t care whether or not you support it if you do thank you if not then why are you still on my channel? Anyways this is a warning quit posting hate comments. Oh, and for those who ship Crankiplier your one more step closer to it becoming reality I can only hope he won’t reject me .‘’
The video ended and I was left in shock. He loves me?! Mark Fischbach loves me ..there's there's just no way. Yes, I love him but I never expected him to return my feelings. T-this must be some sick prank I mean why would someone as amazing as Mark ever love me? I mean I’m practically worthless. Yet why would he have gone through all this trouble if he hadn’t meant it? Ugh, it was so hard battling with myself why was this so hard ?!
‘’ Ethan get it through your head he does not love you !!’’ I hadn't expected anyone to reply so when I heard a familiar voice reply I almost yelped in fright.
‘’ What if I told you were wrong ?’’
Had Mark seriously just said that?! And if so does he truly mean it? Or is he just pitying me because of all the hate? I hate pity it’s not like their actually sorry for you there not sympathizing for you if anything it’s the complete opposite there sorry for you for their own personal gain. If it doesn't involve the person or doesn’t give them an advantage or personal gain you can consider yourself complete trash because that’s how they act towards you after.
I sighed I knew he was only pitying me he didn’t really love me. Him loving me was like a fairy tale completely and utterly pointless besides the moral and my story was telling me to get my head out of the clouds. I looked Mark straight in the eye before speaking what was on my mind something I rarely ever do.
‘’ Mark I’m not wrong you are. You don’t love me and we both know it if this is out of pity I would prefer if you didn’t pity me or confess just to make me feel better about myself. I appreciate it Mark I honestly do but I would rather hurt than to have a relationship built off of pity and lies .’’
Mark only looked at me with shocked eyes quite honestly he looked funny the way he kept gaping as well as opening and closing his mouth made him look insane but I knew he was only trying to find the right words.
‘’ Look at me Ethan ‘’ When I refused to look at him he gently lifted my chin forcing me to look at him.
‘’ Ethan I can tell you this and I would never lie to you. This isn't out of pity I love you I love all your flaws and imperfections. I love all your curves, features, and everything in between. I've loved you for as I could remember and I’ll continue to do so for as long as you need because no one could ever take your place I love you and only you. I've waited for you this long I can continue to wait.’’
Tears welled up in my bright green eyes at Mark's confession it was so honest there wasn't a single lie I was able to detect. I-I….im just so happy and relieved so many emotions are running through me right now I’m not even able to process them all. I hugged him and after a moment his muscular arms wrapped around my thin frame. It felt so right the way his arms fit in all my curves it was like a puzzle piece as if this was meant to happen. I especially loved the warm feeling that came with Mark being near me. Shaking off feelings of uncertainty I mustered all of my courage and uttered one thing.
‘’ I ...I love you Mark ‘’
I expected him to leave, yell, unfriend me, do something! Yet all he did was nuzzle his face in my neck and place a soft chaste kiss there.
‘’ I love you too my blue angel. ‘’
Time Skip
It had been about a week since Mark and I had started dating it was amazing each and every second of it. He had long since found out about me skipping dinner and worries beyond belief he even cooks meals and makes sure I eat each and every one. The constant reassurance, love, and caringness I had received had been the best days of my life although I hate worrying him. I appreciate each and every second of it I appreciate Mark ….I absolutely love Mark he’s made my life so much better in every way.
I had only saw darkness in my life and then Mark came into my life changing everything I had once known as my world evolved in color.
Even though Mark and I had an amazing newfound relationship the hate comments would still come just not as frequently. We had both lost some subscribers but had also gained new ones which were mostly a bunch of Crankiplier fangirls. It made me happy to think that many people support our relationship and had even come up with a ship name.
But I also couldn't help but have the feeling that I don’t deserve Mark many comments had said I was using Mark in every way possible …..that I’m only dating him for subscribers and that he deserves so much better. Yet he always brushed off all of my concerns. Whenever I brought up the subject he would cut me off by smothering me in multiple kisses and I would get lost in his mesmerizing deep chocolate eyes.
‘’ My blue smol bean!’’ I heard Mark ask from the living room.
‘’ Yes Markimoo ?! ‘’ I smirked knowingly because he had always hated the nickname he only allows me to call him it and even then it depends on what mood he’s in.
‘’ Baby come watch a movie with me ‘’ Even though I was all the way upstairs and he was in the living room I could practically hear the begging tone and see the adorable little pout he always had when something didn't go his way.
‘’ Fiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnneee I suppose but only because I love you so much ‘’ I said lovingly before joining Mark on the couch. As soon as I sat down next to him he propped me up and cradled me in his lap.
‘’ What do you wanna watch ?’’
‘’ Mmmhmmm I don’t care you can choose ‘’ I said while burrowing myself deeper in his lap. He nodded faintly before choosing The Flash on Cw.
As the show progressed I couldn’t help but think about the many comments. They were revolving in my head round and round never leaving me at peace. Mark seemed to sense my doubt because he took my hand in his own larger own and kissed it before proceeding to kiss my collarbone giving me chills.
‘’ I’ve told you, Ethan, you're perfect and I’ll dedicate my life to make you feel exactly what you are…...’’
He let a hot breathy whisper trail across my cheek before continuing.
‘’Absolutely perfect .‘’
And for the first time in what seems like forever, I actually believed what Mark had said.
‘’ And you’ll always be perfect to me ‘’
