“i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”
hurt meme.
with scarcely a word between them, zaynab knew. there was perceptible shifting of emotion, flowing from a fresh wound that urged emotions from the darkest depths of the two. with little ripples that were hardlythe shadows of waves, the laden sorrow moved to crash into what had once been something easy & happy & good. wouldn’t it be easier not to feel anything? to not know the face of loss, rearing it’s ugly head into reality in the form of a friend.
she feels something angry claw at her insides, something that she can’t quite brush aside. they had been taught to give their life for the village, to offer their bodies & souls to people who may never know their name. to offer everything for a place that had never quite felt like her home. she pushes the thought away.
“that would be easier, wouldn’t it?” perhaps she might have smiled if the corners of her mouth did not feel so heavy. the weight made them quiver with the effort behind her attempt & she felt something hot burn at her bright eyes. using her sleeve to wipe the moisture away, she forces her face into an expression of indifference, “ but it doesn’t work like that. it never will. “