Friends have come and gone for me throughout the years, but there has always been a valid reason, be it relocating or changing interests. Yet, for the first time I find myself making the conscious decision to ‘let go’ of a friend. As a teenager, I am at the age of discovering who I am, and at this crucial point of development I’m not willing to hold on to something that is having a negative impact on my life and my emotions.
Letting go of a friend can be incredibly hard, in some ways people relate it to death, or a loss. The only thing which is different is that you are in control.
I’ll go into some depth about my 'friendship’. We had plenty of good times, she helped me to feel comfortable in a new environment and I thank her greatly for that. I stuck by her through bullying issues, low self-confidence and family issues. We were very close, I treated her like a family member as she did with me, but as the time we spent together progressed I saw a new side to her personality. I would not class myself as a push over, but I put those who I care about before myself. She knew this, and let out her built up anger from home life on me. She would yell and scream at me, and always make me feel guilty, as if I had something to be sorry for and she was the victim. I let this continue for months, I was there for her, and helped her to release her emotions but it was starting to have an effect on me. Soon, I was crying and apologising too frequently, when I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. I felt like a horrible person, and a horrible friend, when all I wanted to do was be there for her. It got to the point where I was no longer upset, but angry. I was angry for trying so hard for no reason. I was keeping this friendship going and she was acting like she wanted it to end. So, I argued back, seeing this she back tailed instantly, apologising and saying she would change. But, a week later it happened again. The arguments continued and neither of us backed down. Then she began to follow around another girl, and made her a priority. I could feel myself being pushed away and I hated it. It upset me that I had put so much into the friendship and she felt like I wasn’t a priority. This was when I first decided to allow the drifting to take place. We were seeing each other less, so we weren’t arguing at all, any time spent together was fun and we always needed a huge catch up. I let her leave me, I allowed myself to be pushed away. During this period, I grew close to someone else, someone who I adore and who adores me too. As I grew closer to this person, the arguments began again. She was mad at me for finding someone else, she said I was choosing them over her, she didn’t realise she had already replaced me. She made no effort to see me, but would constantly bitch about me behind my back to all of my friends. She’d make me out to be this horrible person. I didn’t care about losing her anymore, I just didn’t want to lose everybody else. I explained my point of view and they understood, they admitted that she exaggerates when she’s mad and they have witnessed it before. So they hold no grudge against me having this new friend, only her.
I was tired of crying, I was tired of feeling ill from worrying constantly. I chose happiness and It was the best decision of my life! I couldn’t be happier than I am with the people around me at the moment. Everything happens for a reason and you deserve to be happy, don’t let people take you for granted. Care for people, share your love, but don’t let it be seen as a weakness.
If your friendship is unhealthy, you need to think about whether or not they really deserve a place in your life. If they’re a true friend, your happiness will be their main concern.
