Stop Being Possessive in Friendship
Are you jealous when your friend hangs out with his or her other friends? Or with other sets of your friends? Do you not want your friend to meet new people? Do you want yourself to be his or her priority? Or do you always tell your friend what he or she should do? If answers to all the above questions are yes, you are a possessive friend. If you have started controlling what your friend is doing, it’s high time, and you must take a step back and stop being a possessive friend.
“If you love your friend, then set him/her free”. Here we must understand this quote symbolically, not literally. “Set him/her free” refers to you allowing your friend to be who he/she really is — not setting your friend free means having an agenda for him/her. Perhaps there are things here and there that you’d prefer to he/she not have, so you put on a utility belt to “fix” your friend to be exactly who you want him/her to be for you, and then everything will be ok. That will almost certainly guarantee failure.
Unfortunately, many people become over-possessive in their friendships. They are so anxious about keeping the friendship at any cost that they resort to forms of control, abuse, manipulation, or self-denial that they never experience real love. It gets all muddled up with emotional needs, fear, anxiety, etc. Always keep in mind that true love does not make us fear dear friend; it's the fear inside us. It is an attachment. We would like to keep the other person with us always because he/she is detrimental to our happiness.
Letting the one you love leave is the hardest thing to do. It feels like giving away a part of your heart and causes immense pain. But true love does not control and always seeks the happiness of the other person. So eventually you will do it. So, be confident about your love for your friends and set them free. Hence I believe in this saying completely that, “If You Love Someone then Set Them Free.