*knock knock*
“Come in!”
“Hey bub. How’s your day been?”
*something in Russian. Or Polish. Or possibly Ukrainian 1*
“In English please, which I do speak?”
“Bicycle. Floor. Garden.”
“Uh. Okay. Welp, I haven’t really seen you in two days, so I wanted to catch up, but it seems like you don’t want to chat so I will go. But I hope your day was good.”
“I am sleepy.”
“Okay. Love you.”
*stepped out, closed the door gently because it’s face is loose from the framing (we dislike modern hollow core doors Precious we hatessssss it filthy doorsssss) and it sticks at an angle sometimes; grab phone, grab cup of cold drink—*
“Wait! Mom, can you come back in?*
*puts down drink, puts down phone, renters through terrible door*
“What’s up?”
“I just wanted to say…you’ve always been a really good mom. 2 I want to thank you because have always worked hard to be a good mom, and help me and to support me.”
“Oh, oh honey. You’re welcome. 3”
“So yeah, thank you. I love you, and I hug you now.”
*they got out of bed and hugged me and I hugged them and I whispered “I love you” into their hair and I was shaking a little and trying so desperately to not squeeze too hard*
“I’m sorry I was such an asshole when I was younger.”4
“Who you were isn’t who you are now though. And you have also worked so hard to become the you that you are now!”
“Yeah, but I was, like, REALLY an asshole.”
“…so you have a point for comparison. And I am really proud of you. The person that you are Being, and also the person you are in the ongoing process of Becoming. And you would t be either if you weren’t that other person first.”
“Yeah! And both of us are moving forward and looking back and being like ‘can you believe that guy?!’”
“*snicker*”
“And then we’re like, ‘let’s keep his hoodie though, as a souvenir.’”
“You do like a good hoodie. I’m gonna head upstairs. But I love you, and I am so proud of you.”
“I love you.”
*closes terrible door. Takes up cup and phone. Gets to the stairwell to the bedroom with the cat winding around my ankles. Puts down phone and cup. Picks up indignant kitty and presses my face into her while she mrowls about how she hasn’t been fed this hour she is STARVELING. Cries.*
*puts down kitty. Takes cup and phone. Goes upstairs. Feeds kitty.*
*sits down and takes up crochet. And feels okay in a part of my heart I thought would always be a hole.*
1 The kid is teaching Themself all of these at once. And I think a smattering of European Romance languages as well.
2 if I’m being pure honest this is where I first started to well up.
3 I would be the granddaddy of all liars if I claimed my voice was steady.
4 holy whiplash, Batman!