Potty Training
Though I am child free (not by choice). I have potty trained one niece and one cousin. At the same time. With zero effort put in on their parents part. I am absolutely not saying I am the best at potty training or that potty training is easy. I just wanted to share some things that worked for them and some thoughts on it.
First off potty training is not quick. It's not a one day and done and every child is different so the time it takes will be different. Also side note isn't it just amazing that each child is unique. Fantastic!
While potty training was not my favorite, I loved being able to be a part of it. To watch the learning and applaud them all the time. When else do you get to clap or dance around and hype up someone for going potty in the toilet? I hope if you are on potty training journey or about to start one that you can feel how exciting and tremendous it is to teach someone a lifelong skill (barring accidents).
I do not like the child potties. If they worked for you that's great. I would just like to point out the benefits of getting the little seat that fits on the regular seat. The child learns all the steps from identifying the toilet to wiping and flushing. Also the waste gets flushed away, the child has no opportunity to decide to play with it, which is unfortunately a common thing for young children. To me the child potty is just extra steps, you have to dump it at some point, I would say every time but I've seen people say they dump it once a day. It needs to be cleaned every single time and it can also lead to more accidents later on if you put the potty where ever they spend the most time so they don't have to go far to the bathroom which sounds good in theory but it usually translates to a child who has learned not the early feelings of needing to use the bathroom but rather much later signs.
My cousin had issues due to her mother's negligence, which is how she ended up with my uncle, her dad. If you know anything about cps and custody battles you will probably realize how bad her mother had to be for them to give full custody to my uncle. She was afraid to potty in the diapers and was always constipated, so I introduced poo poo potty time candy as I called it. They were prunes but both girls wanted the 'candy' when they successfully used the toilet.
I also made charts and printed them out with their names and taped them in the bathroom at eye level for them. They got stickers also for successful potty times. Honestly they liked the stickers but both were much more motivated by the prunes lol.
Consistency is really a big tip I'd say. After every meal or snack or nap during the time I had them we went to the toilet and they got to try. If they did not go in the toilet they were still praised for sitting on the toilet and then we washed our hands (yes we also washed hands before food or if they were messy. Washing hands was very quick for both of them to pick up.)
I preferred to keep them in diapers until they were consistent in letting an adult know when they needed to go. Oftentimes I've seen the suggestion to buy big kid underwear (also it's fun to take them to pick their big kid underwear) for potty training but that usually ends in far more accidents and laundry, as that is what happened with my brothers kids I was not in charge of potty training.
If you do go out somewhere, I liked to hype them up about trying different new toilets. I tried to make it a game for them.
There will be accidents. No way around that. Adults have accidents all the time too. It's not a big deal. If you have someone who is likely to yell at or shame the child for a potty accident I would suggest talking to them prior about it or keeping a diaper on when dealing with those type of people. My niece was doing so good with big kid underwear until her father had a screaming fit at her for peeing her pants when she realized she needed to go and tried to make it to the bathroom but didn't. She refused to wear underwear for a few weeks after that and I don't blame her.
No these tips won't work for all kids. You really do have to know what your own kid would like.
Though the unforeseen danger of potty training for me was that when I had to take my niece to the bathroom with me she would start loudly asking if I was pooping much to the amusement of other public restroom patrons. She would also clap after I flushed.
Last tip but maybe the most important: Give yourself grace. Sometimes you might mess up, or you aren't consistent with it for whatever reason, or maybe your child is really struggling with it and you think you should be better. Remember you are teaching them not just all about the things in the bathroom which is already a lot. I mean learning how to wipe properly without an adults help will take probably a few years, all nibblings had to have help until they were older than four and sometimes they still missed stuff. Beyond that you cannot feel what they feel, you cannot go yeah this feeling means you need to potty and pass them the sensation. It is so very much for their tiny minds to learn as well as all the other new things they are learning all the time. You are not a bad caretaker if you find it difficult, angering, and frustrating unless you are taking those feelings out on the child.
