A Letter on Potty Training
Dear Potty Training,
I know this may sound blunt, but I loathe you. You stink, literally and figuratively. Enough already with your constant need for appreciation. It is a constant reminder to me, as a potty trained adult, who may have an occasional leak from a sneeze or laughing too hard, that the use of a potty is a luxury. Listen, I get it, you want a pat on the back. Well, fine then. I greatly appreciate what you do for society. Is that good enough?
Let’s get a few things straight here. Right now I despise your candor when I wake up to see that my toddler peed all over my bed after I just washed the sheets the night before because the other one puked on them. I find it irritating that you think it is an “easy” task to teach a little person how to use a potty. While we are discussing the potty, yes, it is truly a “wonder of the world” when attempting to show someone how to properly use it. Watching your toddler squat in the corner, knowing darn right well what is going on, followed up by the attempt to remove her own poopy diaper is a nightmare. And then there is bath time. Don’t even get me started. Let’s just say when I am sitting in the bathtub with my kids in hopes of getting us all clean at once, the announcement that someone peed isn’t exactly enjoyable.
I know that you invade our lives for a relatively short time but it feels like you will never, ever, ever leave. So, while you remain I ask that you live by my rules. First, understand that this task is less than easy and I ask that you take it calmly on me in the future. Secondly, I appreciate you and the modern wonder of a toilet, but I’m tired of making it a topic of discussion, so just let it go. Finally, I know that I will be dealing with many more stinky situations so I ask that you give me the strength to plunge ahead on this not so clean, odor filled endeavor.
Thank you again for your contribution to society but forgive me if I am less than joyful to discuss it.
Sincerely,
A Mother who is attempting to potty train her child
-A Learning Lady-