#ppd?

[violets-momma]

So I called the OB today.

And because of my insurance I need a referral to them from my primary for anything that isn't pregnancy related. Normally that wouldn't be an issue but I let the Medicaid people choose my primary care physician and shortly after Vi was born I was having wrist pain and wanted to see an orthopedic dr but I needed to go through them for that too and when that was going on i called that office so many times and they never answer and I've left messages with no returns to my calls. So yeah I gave up before and my wrist stopped hurting but now I have to deal with it. Tomorrow I'm calling to change my primary and then I have to make an appt with them and get sent to my OB...so stupid.

[violets-momma]

This is seriously so hard.

Why won't she just sleep a normal amount of time?? Why can't she stay awake longer than two hours at a time during the day and yet in the middle of the night wakes up and stays awake for FIVE HOURS?! This is a common occurrence...like 3-4am she gets up until 8 or so.....WTF. She's been awake since 3 and it's 8:30 so that's cool. I'm suppose to go to a baby shower today but my mom was suppose to go with and she has work so now I have to take Violet alone and I only really know the pregnant girl and I just...would rather die than continue being a human.

[borderkic1a]

Checking every app that I own to see if I accidentally didn't post something, seeing if the doors closed, if the gas is turned off, if the tap is closed also the fridge, going back from the outside to make sure I locked the door, checking my bag multipe times to check if it didnt magically open itself, if theres no one in the closet, if I didnt leak my passwords, if my mom who's at work isnt at home, if my friends still like me needing to go through their phones to make sure they dont speak bad about me, needing the reassurance 24/7, can't feel comfortable in my house because the tv doesn't fit perfectly in the hole made for it etc also because there are panels on the previous floor, thinking the bugs are crawling on me, everything itches, taking normal things as an attack

[badassmommaoftwo]

I don't know what's wrong with me but,

I don't feel a bond with Carter like I did when Aubree was born. I don't know if it's because I can't spend all my time loving on him or what, but I feel like such a shit mom. Of course I love him, just don't feel like we have a bond.....

[maisiesmama-blog]

I've been feeling so down and lost. Like anything can make me cry. I've felt like I'm in a fog and I have a hard time concentrating or processing things. Like Adam will be talking and I'll be trying so hard to follow along but I'll feel like I'm hearing him from a long ways off and I can't connect thoughts and no matter how hard I try to come up with a response, all I manage is "mhm" or repeating what he just said. I feel like I'll never manage to do the things I want to do and the thought of starting my classes makes me feel sick because I feel like I'm just trapped into doing them. I feel like I never want to be away from Maisie because she makes me feel like I'm not so alone. Adam has to leave sometimes but I can always hold onto Maisie. But then when she's crying and I've changed her diaper and fed her and am holding her and she's got her binki but she still won't stop crying, all I want to do is plug my ears and cry myself. This sucks and I just don't know what to do.

[lapetitemoi]

I feel like...

... I'm the only mom on Tumblr who isn't loving and enjoying motherhood. It's wrecking my nearly 5-year marriage, destroying my body, and killing my sanity. It's awful but I'm really just going through the motions right now, praying that I'll feel something someday.