Here, have a shit post sparked from a conversation @thefantasticsuperouatgirl and I had...this is gonna be soooo longggg
• Nobody really knows how the prank war started
They just know that it exits
One minute the Marauders were busy being the Marauders and pranking other houses
And the next,,, they’re pranking each other??
Most of the Gryffindors are fine with the Marauders pranks
They can be annoying
But they’re amusing
And usually completely harmless
So no one really minds
And anyone who say that they do is probably just pretending and they actually do find them funny *cough* Lily *cough cough*
But it’s one thing for them to be pranking other houses
But the Marauders pranking each other? Pure. Unchecked. Chaos.
Bc normally they have Remus to keep James and Sirius from murdering the whole school
Bc he’s the nice one. The good one. The not-chaotic one
Wrong
Now Remus and Peter have teamed up against James and Sirius and everyone is rethinking their mental idea of Remus Lupin
And people are wondering if Remus is actually behind all of their pranks
Bc this dude is insane
Books that attack people (mostly James and Sirius)
Good that moves away from them whenever they try and eat it
Malfunctioning brooms
Random gusts of wind from any direction that blow people off course
It’s horrifying
And now everyone is wondering if it’s actually James and Sirius that need to keep Remus in check and not the other way around
Kingsley literally moved out of the dorm for a couple weeks
And that’s a feat in and of itself
He’s got patience by the dozens
So if he had to m o v e o u t
Then it’s bad
It’s around mid November when James and Sirius finally pull one over on Remus and Peter
Something about chocolate is what everyone heard but no one really knows what
All they know is that James and Sirius are dead men
It’s later in the week when James and Sirius see Remus talking to Lily
They don’t catch much, but they do catch the word “Sally”
They can’t even begin to imagine what it could be about
James is still trying to figure out how Remus gets Lily to talk to him and he wants to go say hello
(Which just means he’s probably going to ask her out a g a i n)
But Sirius reminds him that they aren’t speaking to Remus bc of the prank war
Later that night, as they’re walking back from dinner (having pointedly ignored Remus and Peter the whole night)
They see something rather strange
It’s a normal corridor
High ceilings and old doors and the like
The only difference is the seemingly hundreds of candles hovering in midair, lighting the hall
And of course, being James and Sirius, they go down that corridor
They really should’ve anticipated something being wrong
But they didn’t
And they’re about halfway down the corridor when the candles all mysteriously blow out with a gust of wind
They freeze
“What the—“
There’s a skittering sound and the end of Sirius’ sentence dies in his throat
What the hell was that?
James asks as much
And then there it is again, only this time, a door slams
Now they’re really confused
It’s the laugh that makes them want to turn back
The high pitched, child-like, laugh that’s paired with more skittering and door slamming
“Hey Sirius, maybe we should turn back”
“Yeah maybe we— hold on...what was that?”
There’s a dull thunk from somewhere
Both of them look around
They can’t find a source for the noise
But they can find a source for the drop of liquid that splats onto James’ head
“What in the world...?”
James stretches out a hand towards the ceiling
And then there’s that laugh again, but it keeps getting closer and closer and closer until— SLAM
With considerable force something slams down into James’ outstretched hand
It’s a wonder he doesn’t drop it. Doesn’t stop the yell he lets out tho
It’s a doll.
A fucken terrifying one at that
Her eyes stare unblinkingly up at James
Her blonde hair matted to her hair with some sort of red liquid that looks suspiciously like...blood?
And then her head falls off and she says “Let’s play!”
The high pitched noise that came next couldve been Sirius
It could’ve been James
Hell, it could’ve even been that goddamned doll but neither of them care
They’re out of there faster than you could scream Bloody Murder
And they’re leaning against the outside of the corridor, doubled over and gasping for breath when they hear laughter
Not like that of the dolls
But genuine laughter.
Sirius spins around “You”
And Remus just laughs
And so does Peter
And so does...Lily?
As it turns out, Lily helped with Remus’ “underhanded Satan shit” as James deemed it
The doll had been a particularly creepy present from Petunia a couple years back and Lily had no idea how it got into her trunk
Remus had asked if he could use Sally (“So that’s what that was about!”) for their prank and Lily had agreeeee under the condition that she got to help out
James isn’t sure if he’s mad at Lily or just more attracted to her he’s lying to himself he knows it’s the latter
Even if James and Sirius wouldn’t admit it (which probably had something to do with Remus never letting Sirius live down that scream when Sally’s head popped off), it had been a damn good idea
Nobody in Gryffindor tower knew what had ended the prank war
They were just happy that it was over
Especially, Kingsley
Who could finally, finally, get a good night slepe in his own bed