Nulli secundus (Second to none)
John James Harrower Ferguson
From Coldstream, far north on the Tweed, one day Two colonels came marching up London way Where, finding the Commonwealth losing tone They set Charles the Second upon the Throne Then, asked about honours and due rewards They applied for the post of His Majesty’s Guards
This put His poor Majesty into a jam And he said “I can’t tell you how sorry I am “But I’m greatly afraid that this thing cannot be “’Cos I bought my Guards Regiment over with me “And I think that the best I can possibly do “Is to call them the First Guards, and you Number Two”
This answer occasioned some justified ire And the Colonels replied, with forgivable fire, “In our humble submission we cannot agree “as our motto is NULLI SECUNDUS, you see “And if as the First Guards we cannot be reckoned “We’ll be Third, Fourth or Fifth, but we’ll never be Second”
So they left a wide gap where the second should be Taking place – par passive – as Number Three But to safeguard all claims they might otherwise lose They decided to wear all their buttons in twos And they said to the Scots Guards “Just stand where you please “Provided you wear your buttons in threes”
When the Irish Guards came after Africa’s wars They naturally wore all their buttons in fours And last on the scene, the Welsh Guards arrived And he wears, well you’ve guessed it, his buttons in fives And all the time Coldstream said “My dear old chap “Don’t mind about us – please step into the gap”.
So you’ll note when you see this most famous Brigade All drawn up in line, on a full dress parade That the Grenadiers stand in position to right Then come Scots, Irish, Welsh and last Coldstream polite And the buttons go one, three, four, five and two Which is rather untidy, I think, don’t you?
