Oneshot Wordcount: 2541 AO3 ¤ Ko-Fi ~
CW: Angst, pure angst, with a sprinkle of violence
Pairing: Lucanis Dellamorte x F!Rook de Riva
Summary: In a moment of weakness, where Spite seems to be ensnaring Lucanis more and more, Avantika "Rook" de Riva helps bring Lucanis back, reminding him he is far more than the demon in his mind.
The calm was unsettling. The hum of the Fade, the Lighthouse, providing what could only be heard as some sort of thrumming heartbeat in the air around Rook. As much as the others swore there was a serenity to this place, Rook could only see something that was stagnant. Like the air around them, the magic refused to move on past its time. It lingered, clung to the edifice of the Lighthouse like a memory desperately not wanting to be forgotten
It made Avantika restless, standing there like she really did not belong in such a place. It made her miss the streets of Treviso. The streets filled with spiced conversation and hushed whispers. The lively streets of the people coming and going with their lives.
Rook couldn't help but smile at the memories of perching herself upon the high roofs, staring out to the expansive ocean as she listened to secrets be traded in alleys below. It was almost the exact opposite of the Lighthouse in everything.
Staring into the deep blue of the aquarium before her, Rook asserted in her mind that she did, indeed, dislike it here.
‘Maybe he would have enjoyed it…’
Her thoughts of sharp handwriting and even sharper quips on parchment were quickly shattered, a thump resounding in the room. It was muffled, easily missed by most not paying close attention. But to a Crow, one whose life is about listening to every quiet whisper and subtle sound, it was nothing if not obvious.
Quickly setting down the letter in her hand, Rook wrapping her robe around herself snuggly as she took her leave. This place still felt like such a maze to Avantika, yet she made sure to commit to memory the most important rooms. Where her companions felt safe, shadowed corners and alcoves that would provide some sort of strategic advantage if they were to ever be sieged. Hiding spots for herself to just have a moment away from all this chaos.
Yet as much as she tried to familiarize herself with such a place, there was always some kind of secret kept away, a hidden truth that still made this entire structure seem incapable of understanding. Again, another thump sounded off in the hall, this time much clearer to Avantika. A thump that was not one to be associated with a gentle movement of furniture. This one sounded far more aggressive, borderline panicked. Her feet picked up the pace, doing her best to try and track down the sound and its location. When the third thump resounded through the hall, Avantika could feel her heart stop in a panic, turning to the door she could very clearly trace it to. Bursting through the doors, she could see that the entirety of the dining room had been thrown into chaos. Chairs strewn about, some broken, others nothing but splinters at this point. The only light illuminating the room being the now embered fireplace, and the light pouring from the askew door leading to the kitchens and- “Fuck!”
Rook could not move fast enough, racing towards the door, just in time to have to dodge out of the way of a glass flying towards her face, glass shattering against the frame. Avantika could feel a shard just graze against her cheek, unable to completely avoid the remnants of the shrapnel flying. Ava hugged the wall for a moment, catching the breath that was stolen from the shock of entry, only for her eyes to lock onto those familiar brown, wide from the terror of being seen, or nearly hitting her, she was not entirely sure. But the man looked mortified, and it strangled Avantika's heart to a point where she found it hard to breathe. Before Rook could open her mouth to speak, Lucanis hunched over, arms bracing himself against the wooden shelves of the pantry as he grunted out in pain. Avantika had only seen him like this in much more subtle bouts, not wanting to let her or the other’s panic from Spite’s influence. But Avantika knew something was very wrong, that this was far more serious than Lucanis would ever care to admit. Slowly, Avantika took a step forward, not wanting to startle the poor man. She already knew that coming into such a dangerous and volatile situation would already put Lucanis in a panic, she did not want to accelerate his fear. When she could see he had not taken notice yet, Rook steeled herself to take another step forward. “Lucanis? Lucanis… can you look at me, please?” Avantika did her best to try and keep her voice gentle and calm, wanting to try and de-escalate this whole situation in any way she could. Yet the shake in her voice that slipped through was enough to disintegrate that chance. She knew exactly what…who would cling to it.
“Ava, you have to go, please, before-” Another cry out had Lucanis covering his ears, clutching onto his head as if it would explode.
Something in the air seemed to shift then, like the energy had become far too thin. The hair on Avantika’s arms rose, a familiar feeling in her veins pricked her. She had felt this before, it was a near familiar feeling always. That magic pulsing through her very blood, now manifesting before the two. Before Lucanis could even attempt to react in his state, Avantika raced toward him, her own patterned hands finding his, now cradling his face as her amber eyes grew far more serious. “Lucanis… listen to me… I need you to listen to me.” For a moment, she felt Lucanis respond to her, eyes flickering before something changed. Avantika could feel something pulse within him, those brown eyes she would always lose herself in to a blackness that, when the dim firelight caught, showed that purple sheen that made Avantika's stomach drop. Before she could react quickly enough, she felt herself lifted, her body colliding with the wooden shelves above. All air was forced out of her lungs, the wicked smile beneath her letting out a warped sinister laugh before she was haphazardly tossed to the ground.
“So do you think…. With enough delusion…. He will amount to what you see in him?” That sickening voice ripped through Lucanis's lips, goosebumps of disgust risking on Avantika's skin as she collected herself to stand.
“Lucanis…” Avantika could only make out a breathless whisper. “I need you to come back.”
“WHY SPEAK TO THAT PATHETIC WRETCH WHEN I AM RIGHT-” Spite's roar was cut short by another loud cry, his body curling in on itself as Lucanis's shaking form fell to his knees.
To hear those pained whimpers come from the man, it made everything in Avantika want to rip apart Spite, to unleash complete magical brutality upon it.
But Avantika knew better. She knew that the only thing that would feed Spite, make it more powerful, was to feed into it. To give it the attention it craved. Seeing the pained form of Lucanis before her, all urge to acknowledge the demon was smothered.
Sinking to her knees before Lucanis, Rook's patterned hands slowly reached for Lucanis's own, her own body tensed and ready for any kind of outburst Spite could cause. But as she grasped onto Lucanis’s hands, she could feel that flinch, a squeeze of recognition that only made her heart squeeze tighter and her body move a little closer.
It was scary for her, but she could only imagine how terrifying this was for him. To feel your mind slipping out of your control. To be a spectator in your own body as some demon piloted your skin, speaking in your voice, all the while you're screaming to stop. All Avantika wanted was to take it away from him, to go into his mind and rip Spite away like the tumor that demon was.
But for now, all she could do was be here for Lucanis, to do anything possible to anchor him here in reality. “Lucanis… I need you to listen and come back. You are safe… I am right here and I'm not going anywhere.” Rook did everything possible to make sure her voice was steady, that her body was steady. “R-Rook… I-I don't want to hurt you again I-”
Avantika’s hand left his, gently placing it beneath his chin so those brown eyes could look into her own amber. “No, you did not hurt me, Lucanis. That was not you.” She held his gaze right there, refusing to have his own spirit break from something he could not control.
It had chipped away at him over this year, and both knew that there was not much left to chip at anymore. But at least he could now have someone there. Someone to be a shield, no matter how much he would deny that. Her other hand reached to cup his cheek, the man’s brown eyes fluttering closed for a moment. A moment both just sat there, letting the silence slowly come over them, smothering the chaos that had taken place like a blanket of snow. “It will happen again, pequeña cuervo.” “And when it does, I will be right here to call you back. Just you. You are not your demon.” “The things I have done, though, Rook. Everything that has happened since-” “No, Lucanis.” Her hands grasped the sides of his head tighter, making sure his eyes couldn't run. “You will not blame yourself for Spite. You will not fall on that sword. The man that I admire, that I want to help, is not what Spite has manipulated. It is not what you think you are. It is you and only you. Just Lucanis. This.” Her hand rested on his heart, feeling the hammering beats of panic and fear. For a moment, Lucanis just sat there, searching Rook’s face for something. Doubt, a lie that did not exist. All he could see was the woman who refused to go, that refused to see the demon that poisoned his brain and body. The woman that only saw the man. His own hand enveloped hers, keeping it tight against his chest as their foreheads leant against one another. “I’m tired, Rook… I’m tired… but I’m here.” ~~•~~ Avantika gave a soft smile and sigh, spiced and honeyed breath caressing his face that elicited a deep breath from the crow. It was something that anchored him. He realised in that moment, that Spite had gone for the moment. His mind was quiet, his body, however sore, was his own. So he just let the moment sit, wanting to cling onto the peace this woman brought as much as possible.
Maker’s breath, he was ruined by her.
“If you’re feeling up to it… how would a coffee sound? I have an old recipe that could help. Don't worry, nothing too sweet I promise.” Moving back a little, Avantika had a small smile on her lips, moving to stand and help Lucanis to his feet. The invitation did seem to perk something up in Lucanis as his own weary smile came back. “Honestly, that would sound like the best thing in the world. Though a recipe for coffee does sound a little odd. Not many recipes I've heard other than-” “Oh no this one, after you drink it, you will think it is the best in the fucking world.” There was that vulgar mouth again that amused him so much.
Honestly, it was refreshing to hear someone with so little filter. It reminded him of his little bird, the one from the letters. He found himself wondering about them more, how all this chaos was affecting them, but again, Avantika brought him back to reality. “It is the spices that help. Even without the milk and sugar it still gives it something. If I remember it was…” Avantika began rummaging through the pantry shelf near the door, sifting things out of her way as she blindly tossed what she needed to the man still collecting his bearings behind her. How this woman could snap from one situation into something completely different was baffling to him.
Lucanis, of course, felt terrible for what she had seen, a moment of weakness he would never want to show. Even as he looked at his hands for a brief moment, knowing that they just moments before had caused her harm, had those regrets blown gently away with the sound of Avantika's voice. Her wide amber eyes sparkling as she searched, a smile on her face as she kept looking between the shelves and what was ending up in Lucanis's hands.
Without magic, Avantika had brought Lucanis back from the brink. And instead of wallowing in the event, having the two dwell on the subject, she somehow immediately brought light back in. A smile on her face, her voice filled with energy. It was contagious and he couldn't help but remember someone from before all this. “Cinnamon yes…. “ A stick of the spice flew back, Lucanis catching it with ease. “Clove… cardamom… and… shit was was it? I know it's something!”
As Avantika tried to remember, Lucanis felt as if he was doused in ice cold water, standing behind Rook with an expression that could only be seen as awe. Something in his mind clicked, and for a moment, Lucanis felt like the biggest idiot alive.
Moving behind Avantika, he reached up, plucking a small jar from the shelf before handing it to her, his chest nearly touching Avantika’s back. “Nutmeg.” His voice was low and gentle, placing the spice in her hand as Avantika let out a groan before slapping her head. “Fuck, nutmeg of course I feel like an idiot!” Gathering the spices that Lucanis was holding, she began to make her leave, though stopping at the door with a curious expression. “Wait, how did you know that? You’ve always drank your coffee black. I don't remember telling you-” “A little bird told me once. But that was a while ago. No need to worry.”
Avantika frowned for a moment but seemed to shrug it off, making her leave as she began to tell Lucanis of how she once made it for Viago and accidently added too much clove, the man swearing up and down that Avantika was testing a poison on him. And the First Talon listened, even though in his head, as he watched Avantika fuss herself over Lucanis and their coffee, he knew how the story ended. He knew that Viago would spend hours after that trying his best to replicate some poison that worked the same as Rook’s, only for him to finally come to the realization that Avantika was just terrible at eyeballing measurements. She still was, Lucanis noticing how she added more than enough nutmeg to her own cup. His little bird had found him again. The little bird who, for the year before his imprisonment, had gifted him with these stories. He felt stupid for not realizing who she truly was sooner. Lucanis could only hope that, at some point, she would be able to see him for who he was before this. Before the war and before Spite. For her to see Lucanis as him, just him.
Only him.