THAT TIME I CHANGED MY MAJOR
I walked quickly with my head in a jumbled mess, looking down periodically as to try and not trip myself up. My legs moved fast, but things seemed to move slowly around me. What in the world was I thinking; what was I doing? The rain from the day before lay on the ground in sporadic puddles, making me feel as if I was on a battlefield trying to dodge land mines of sorts. The walk to the registrar's office seemed long, even though it was only a five-minute walk from the campus bus stop I had just left. I opened the heavy wood door and stepped inside the large building, again wondering if I was making the right decision. I had prayed about it, talked to my family about it, and had debated the thought for several months.
Was I really going to change my major? Was I really going to leave nursing, two semesters away from clinicals? With bated breath I made my way to the office, floor-to-ceiling windows replaced regular wall structure and I was able to see into the room. It was empty compared to the week before, which had been the last week to withdraw from classes. I had come with a friend who was in the same position I was now. We would wait to the very end to withdraw, trying to convince ourselves we could somehow raise our grade letter of D to a B. Opening the glass door to the office I walked in and went straight to the desk.
I smiled at the young guy behind it who was obviously a student worker and he didn’t smile back. Well someone isn’t very happy today. “What can I do for you?” He questioned monotonously, not truly interested but trying to get rid of me quickly. “I have come to change my major.” I spoke as I tried to balance my umbrella against the bookcase that was beside me. However, it was to no avail, after standing still for five seconds it slid forward and I caught it before it tumbled to the ground. The guy now looked at me in disinterest and annoyance. Good one, Kay! You really know how to make a first impression. “All of the counselors who help with changing the majors are out. You’ll have to come back at 9:00.” Came his response and silent dismissal. “Okay, thank you anyway!” I walked away deflated and disappointed, unsureness creeping in again.
I left the building in a state I could not explain. Maybe this was God telling me not to change it. I respected nursing, loved learning about it. I just didn’t feel like it was for me, I held no true passion for it. It was practical and safe, I would always have a job. It was stable and perfect. But it wasn’t what I really wanted. I wanted to enjoy what I was doing and do it well. I wanted to do something that excited me. I know, how American of me. But if I am going to do something for the rest of my life, I want it to be something worthwhile.
Most of us graduate college with the intention of using our degree for the rest of our lives. Why would I graduate with a degree I didn’t enjoy, to then work in that profession for the rest of my life? It made no sense to me, yet it was very typical. When I walked out the registrar’s office I was unsure, but when I went back in 40 minutes later I was ready. I had talked to my mom who had told me not to be scared. To not be fearful and to have faith! I knew what I wanted and what had to be done, but fear held me back. The fear of the unknown and whether or not I would succeed. Maybe I wasn’t smart enough and that’s why I was changing my major? Maybe I was scared of clinicals? Or maybe I finally decided to pursue two loves of mine; research and writing.
“Pre-law? That’s a big switch from nursing, what made you change it?” The counselor asked with a big smile, excitement lighting up her eyes. She had been kind the moment I stepped into her office, her gregarious spirit rubbing off on me. Immediately I began to spill my guts to a lady who was eager to hear it all. We talked for what seemed like hours, her filling me in on how she had trouble with choosing her major as well. “I must have changed it about 12 times, like seriously.” We laughed together as she told me to try as many different classes as I liked. “This is more flexible than nursing and allows you to try out many different classes. See what you like, what you enjoy! I’m so excited for you!” She handed me a pink slip that had ‘CHANGE OF MAJOR’ in big bold letters. I was meant to bring this slip to the political science department so that I could be assigned an advisor.
I smiled at her in appreciation, bidding her farewell and walked out with a renewed energy. It was weird like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I no longer felt as if I was being weighed down. I was going to be doing something I loved! Something that piqued my interest. Yet, I didn’t know the future and I didn’t know how this was going to turn out. It wasn’t all set out to the very end and planned perfectly. Perhaps that was the most magical thing of all. Not knowing... not caring. Now all I had to do was wrap up this semester (and pass all my classes), but that’s another story for another time.
I hope you enjoyed this not so eloquently put story of my life. I hope to do more in the future so that I can share these times in my life with you and improve on my writing! Thank you for your time, have a blessed day!
-Love, Kay (:
