Dawn-Dusk verse: Yona and Suwon (little bit of Hak)
Suwon never had a particular problem with her own height and looks because they were convenient for her plans later on, but there were times when she envied Yona’s girliness and petiteness. When Suwon realized she was in love with Hak, she started to grow a little self-conscious. Then she realized that Hak was in love with Yona and decided to bury it up. She realized she couldn’t match up to either of her childhood friends and it made her a little sad. They totally deserved one another. She was just extra baggage. She had moments of weakness like that.
When Yona confessed to her the week before her 16th birthday, she was really flustered, not only because of what she knew would be happening within a week, but because OH M GOD THIS GORGEOUSLY CUTE GIRL HAS A CRUSH ON ME, ASDHJKL;LKJHGFDSD She began to think for the next few days about whether things could still be turned around. A couple years prior, she had presented the possibility of marrying Yona to King Il to become the king, but he was like, “Yea, not happening.You’re a girl and girls can’t be kings, lol” It was a horrible feeling, but there Yona was, openly confessing she was in love with her and she thought maybe, just maybe it would work. When she presented the proposal again the night before the banquet, King Il acknowledged that Yona liked her but then asked Suwon if she felt the same towards her. If she really, truly could give her the love Yona sought from her. Unfortunately, Suwon realized really quickly that she didn’t feel the way Yona felt about her. She was, in the end, like a little sister to her and loved her as such. The idea of Hak being by her side resurfaced, and it was an ugly feeling of realization that she would be more happy with that than giving Yona the happiness she wanted. The matter was dropped for good.
Yona and Hak found out that Suwon was a woman through Lili. She was able to figure out all this and relayed it to Yona, and Hak happened to overhear because, well, he’s Hak. Yona had some strong words to say, and they all equated, “I would have fought my father on all bearings to marry you, no matter who you were. All you had to do was tell me. TELL ME.” This was relayed to Suwon the next time they met in person and that, my friends, was when Suwon realized just how much she fucked up. They could have gotten married after beating Il down to do it, they would have ruled together, and they PROBABLY would have recruited Hak as an official escort to father a future heir. For good measure, Suwon could have had more time to be discreet about getting back at Il, but that’s a topic for another day.
In the end, Suwon becomes frightened of Yona because it hits her how much she screwed her up, more than ever. Old envy and jealousy gets mixed in, and as of the first chapter of Joy in Dawn and Dusk, she can barely stand hearing her name without panicking and freezing over. It disgusts her because she only has herself to blame. She 100% understands that if Yona came for her life, she would be 100% justified, and it scares her. Before, she would have accepted such a fate, but then a BABY JUST HAD TO COME INTO THE PICTURE, THANKS A LOT
Though throughout the years, they still tend to help each other when they’re in trouble.
