Jul 4, 2017
name moodboard: caleb for @priinceling
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from India
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Tajikistan
seen from United States
seen from France
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Bangladesh
seen from France
seen from France
seen from China
name moodboard: caleb for @priinceling
[ text ]: i wish i never saw the real u ; [ text ]: mood: not in the mood ; [ text ]: when is god gonna kill me? ; [ text ]: update: u still suck // whoever u want throws confetti
「 ZAN × SAIR 」[ text ]: i wish i never saw the real u
「 4.33PM ; TO: ZAN 」 i never hid myself from you.「 4.33PM ; TO: ZAN 」 shit happens and people deal with it as they do. i’m not less for it. though i know the order would like for us to think otherwise.「 4.40PM ; TO: ZAN 」 if i left, you wouldn’t have to see me at all.
「 HOJIN × JINSEON 」 [ text ]: mood: not in the mood
「 2.18AM ; TO: HOJIN 」 in what fucking universe???? wow「 2.18AM ; TO: HOJIN 」 that’s not rly what i’m texting u for tho「 2.19AM ; TO: HOJIN 」 have u talked to jihoon at all today??? i can’t get ahold of him and if he’s home he’s not answering the door so……….idk if he’s dead or dying or just ignoring me lmao..was just wondering if u could help me out
「 MADDOX × LUKA 」[ text ]: when is god gonna kill me?
「 3.49PM ; TO: MADDOX 」 hopepfully not until after god’s already killed me. you’d function better without me than i would without you, haha.「 3.49PM ; TO: MADDOX 」 are you ok? do you need me to bring you anything? i have one more class and then i can head over.「 3.51PM ; TO: MADDOX 」 i mean, i can afford to skip it if you need me to.「 3.54PM ; TO: MADDOX 」 what sounds good for dinner?
「 HOJIN × HAESEONG 」 [ text ]: update: u still suck
「 10.12PM ; TO: HOJIN 」 lmao what.「 10.12PM ; TO: HOJIN 」 srry i didn’t invite u to me tryna get laid??「 10.12PM ; TO: HOJIN 」 it’s not that fuckin serious.「 10.16PM ; TO: HOJIN 」 look i’m about to head out if u want me to pick u up.「 10.16PM ; TO: HOJIN 」 i heard there’s a party in desperate need of crashing. but we can go wherever if u have something in mind. i’m down for w/e.
"I wish everyone would just disappear." // jihoon & seyeon
“I wish everyone would just disappear.”
Seyeon blinks at him slow, trying to process his words over the drone of music and conversation from those around them. He can tell Jihoon is a bit hazy through his own haze, and he spares a moment to wonder if Jihoon even realizes he’s said anything aloud. He’s staring straight ahead, eyes half-lidded and blank, his lips are parted, wet with the drink in his hand, and Seyeon’s gaze lingers there before dropping to the remnants of a bruise clinging to his jaw.
There’s something a little too dangerous in all of them tonight. He’d seen in their eyes, the set of their spines. And maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s the company. Or maybe they’re all just too fucked up to contain it anymore.
Jihoon’s energy feels heavy beside him. Like he wants to break something or someone or maybe himself. They have more in common than he thinks Jihoon realizes. And it’s almost funny that it’s the two of them here—crammed together on the couch at the farthest corner of the room because it’s the closest thing to an escape either of them could find.
(No, no, you’re not skipping out on this one, Haeseong had said to him at practice earlier that evening, his arm slung too-tight around Seyeon’s neck. No one is safe. That means you too, Jihoon. And here he had thrown an empty bottle at the other, clipping his shoulder. Jihoon hadn’t even flinched, had remained silent. It’s my party, fuckface. As if that was supposed to be some kind of incentive to agree to go. If anything, it made him at least three times more fearful for his well-being, if not his life as a whole.)
He thinks they’ve both come to the conclusion that their presence here makes no difference. The others had all wandered off from their group well over an hour ago. Whatever they’re getting up to now, he’s sure he’d sleep better not knowing.
“You and me both.” He uncurls from himself with a sigh. “But I don’t know if that’s the solution.”
Because Seyeon may not know Jihoon like the others know him, may not know him like he wishes Jihoon would let him, but he knows enough to know Jihoon wouldn’t do too well alone. When you’re someone’s last resort, you tend to learn things whether they want you to or not.
“Do you want to get out of here? I can walk home with you—make sure you get there alright.” And it’s an offer of something more, his own danger slipping through the cracks. Seyeon’s thinking about Jihoon’s hands on him, bruising into him. He’s thinking of his own hands, shaking, as they always do, but this time with reason. A split second of courage, of softness, before everything is teeth, is fury, a stuttering breath, a choked-off whimper. He wants to hurt, wants to ache days later, know what it feels like for this flesh to belong to this soul. He wants a violence that tastes something like creation.
(And truthfully he likes Jihoon’s hate best when it comes amidst darkness, stillness, silence, 3AM desperation. When he doesn’t have to be Seyeon if Jihoon doesn’t want him to be, when he is nameless and faceless, a presence for the sake of presence. Feels numb, feels safe. But danger cannot be sated with safety.)
Seyeon touches him, fingertips dragging on the underside of Jihoon’s wrist, and when Jihoon looks at him, Seyeon holds his stare, unafraid.
“Come on”—and here he smiles, just barely—“No one will miss us.”
[ text ]: u make me wanna punch shit repeatedly // bonus jihoon n seyeon bc yeh
[ text ]: u make me wanna punch shit repeatedly
「 1.34AM ; TO: JIHOON 」 not my intention if i’m being honest.「 1.34AM ; TO: JIHOON 」 we both know it doesn't have to be that way.
[ text ]: im getting good at playing dead ; [ text ]: usin my last 1% to let u kno im thinkin bout u ; [ text ]: i dont wanna kno if ur playin me // the biggest f00ls jihoon n jinseon
[ text ]: im getting good at playing dead
「 2.26AM ; TO: JIHOON 」 not to one up u or anything but if ur not careful all my worrying abt u is fr gonna put me in the grave「 2.28AM ; TO: JIHOON 」 can i come play dead w u tho
[ text ]: usin my last 1% to let u kno im thinkin bout u
「 11.47PM ; TO: JIHOON 」 charge ur damn phone u nerd「 11.47PM ; TO: JIHOON 」 this party is a 3/10 and i need someone to get me through it
[ text ]: i dont wanna kno if ur playin me
「 5.32PM ; TO: JIHOON 」 ????? why would i do that
[ text ]: id let u run me over with a bus ; [ text ]: crying but also turned on ; [ text ]: i care .. i just dont want to // the biggest trash this side of the solar system, hae n soobin
[ text ]: id let u run me over with a bus
「 12.58AM ; TO: SOOBIN 」 i’m not kinkshaming but that seems a little far.「 12.58AM ; TO: SOOBIN 」 also u would probably die and i mean i kind of like u so???? i’m not looking to kill u as of yet.
[ text ]: crying but also turned on
「 9.17PM ; TO: SOOBIN 」 i can take care of at least one of those things.
[ text ]: i care .. i just dont want to
「 1.08AM ; TO: SOOBIN 」 then don’t.「 1.08AM ; TO: SOOBIN 」 get drunk and forget about it. that’s how i get by lmao.
[text]: pants are optional. ; [text]: i’m sorry, who is this? ; [text]: what time you getting home? ; [text]: don’t need to be a dick about it ; [text]: i can’t tonight, tomorrow? ; [text]: come round to mine and make me ;) ; [text]: wanna grab lunch and a movie? ; [text]: shit shit shit // blows a kiss
[text]: pants are optional.
[to Justin at 7:08 pm] Amore, pants are always optional with you.
[to Justin at 7:08 pm] Not that I would ever complain about that coming from such a beautiful specimen such as yourself.
[to Justin at 7:09 pm] Bring some snacks, will you? We’re gonna need them ;)
[text]: i’m sorry, who is this?
[to JJ at 11:19 am] I’m not sure if you’re being petty, or if you changed my name on your phone while drunk again.
[to JJ at 11:19 am] Or if someone stole your phone.
[to JJ at 11:26 am] Just clear it up for me before I go into a detailed monologue here, okay?
[text]: what time you getting home?
[to Asshole DONT TEXT at 3:52 am] hwat deo you care ?
[to Asshole DONT TEXT at 3.52 am] yoy mightve forgotehnn what ysdou saidthe othegr day buyt i didnt
[to Asshole DONT TEXT at 3:52 am] you don’t give a pshit about m,e right
[to Asshole DONT TEXT at 3:53 am] you know whzat? i do'nt give a siht eithemr.., i don’t.
[to Asshole DONT TEXT at 3:56 am] byou cayn finalyl do whatever the fuck ynou wnat and fuick whoever the fdcuk you wamnt withourt me gettign in the way
[to Asshole DONT TEXT at 3:57 am] ii don’t fucgkni need you
❝ I can give you what you want just the way you want it. ❞
it’s always been a known fact that ash and ezra are at the opposite sides of the spectrum. despite growing up together, there is nothing similar between them. no shared trait ( despite that they’re both good at hiding), even their favourite brand of cereal is different ( makes it more convenient, he’d say ). ash is the life of every room, whose charm can sweep away the most nonchalant soul. him? he’s never been charming, he’s only ever been charmed. he is the quiet leaf falling onto the autumn ground. he is the sidekick in every cliché movie, shadowed and unnoticed, even his demise would happen without a sound.
ash is the boy who has the world but deems it nothing, he is the sad boy that has few but thought it enough. he has his music, an abundance of winter sweaters and his best friend. what more can he possibly want? except that he does want more. he wants stability, he wants permanence, he wants someone who’ll never leave — the boy with his hands on his hips just isn’t it.
ash is the pretty boy with the deadliest of kisses, he’s just the boy who trips and falls over.
every. single. time.
“i told you we’re not doing this anymore.” he heaves, masking irritation to hide the way his body betrays him, the words just one more time unfurling in his head like a post-drug haze. he can see ezra’s smirk before it even appears, because of the times that he said the same words and acted against it from the lack of self-control. but deep down he knows he has to stop before he falls miserably in love with his best friend ( as if he hasn’t already ). heartbeat racing, cheeks flushing as the taller boy hovers over him, moving closer, so close that he can feel the telltale whisper on his damned red cheeks that are doing him no good — god, could he be any weaker? “and i meant it.”