The Golf Cart Bandit
Guys I have to tell you about the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the highlight of my week - to the singular person keeping me afloat in this chaotic world. Let me tell you all about the Golf Cart Bandit.
So I started Grad School a few weeks ago. It’s been stressful, as one might imagine. It’s entirely online and we’re all forever away from the campus. However, because we are technically students we still get alert for anything going on on Campus.
It’s a pretty straight forward system, they send out a “Danger DANGER Danger” email, it makes a loud annoying noise. If you have a phone line attached to your email, it texts and possibly calls you too. I don’t have that option, so I get these alerts by email.
We’re seven weeks in to class, which means at the campus they are seven weeks in to living with each other.
Every. Single. Week. We get one of these alerts saying a golf cart has been stolen. The grad students are finding deep hilarity in this. The email alerts are getting more and more unhinged, reminding people to take the keys out of the golf carts or hit the kill switch on the engine. Incidentally, I am learning a lot about golf carts myself!
One presumes that the person or persons responsible for these small crimes are freshmen who just can’t behave. But the grad students are living for it. If we could, we would send these individuals flowers. An eatable beer arrangement. God only knows. This chaos is the delight of our week, because of course, they’re golf carts. They drive them around a bit and ditch them before they get caught.
We would very much like both the perpetrators and the security on campus to wear gopros and live-stream these incidents for the hilarity of it. Sadly, they don’t know how much entertainment we are getting out of this.
Which brings us to today’s small crime. Apparently the memo has finally gotten out about the golf carts. They’ve become too defended. So today. TODAY our intrepid heroes stole an e-scooter.
I am a lay abiding citizen, but we all just about died laughing when we got the notif.