9/5/23
The sound of the thunder scares me to death. It’s not the sort of thing you’d expect from someone like me, scrawny as I am. Weak people like me generally need to be quick to be brave against the world to survive around here- not that I’ve had a chance to go elsewhere, what with the tight security around nowadays. Impossible to leave without a permit, I tell you. Not that I don’t get it, what with the recent events and missing persons incidents, everyone’s scared outta their mind… running around like rabid rats if you ask me.
No… rats are harder than people. It’s because they’re weaker, so they can sense danger better. It used to scare the hell outta me, I always found them so ominous as a young ‘un. Always lingering around, watching, thinking…
Of course I figured that was a load of hot air when I caught and cooked my first one, I suppose the fact I hadn’t done so already was what allowed me to catch it so easily. Y’see, the weak also hope. They hope for the companionship of someone stronger, someone to protect them- not that I’m like that, I just noticed that in others… no, perhaps that was a lie.
But this hope, I noticed it, and took advantage of it, the rats, they skitter around so frantically when they realise one of their brethren have gone missing. Luckily, I had a talent for cleaning- as my last occupation left me with lots of experience and a bruised eye on my way out, and I am very good at keeping myself clean because of it. I’d just simply revisit the rat den and they’d welcome me- hoping with all their beady eyes that I’d either feed them or drop dead, I made sure to snag one on my way out when they were all focused on their own activities.
That kept me going for a good while, but soon they’d install curfews and guards stationed around, hoping it’d help; I found it very cute. All I’d need to do is call out with promises of food or throw an off-hand insult from an alleyway to get a drunk to come down with a score to settle- though I tend to avoid them, processed alcohol isn’t as nice as you’d think, and I need to keep a straight head to remain careful. And here I’ve gone on and on and I realise, I haven’t been scared of them since I gutted my first. They were no longer indecipherable beings that always seemed to watch, I no longer had issues figuring out what they were thinking while looking at me: pity for a poor child, desire for companionship of a fellow weakling, rage at a brat that had called them a “lumbering oaf”, fear of prey looking up at their predator.
I used to do it for the food, but nowadays I just do it for the sport, thrill of the hunt and all that- but it truly is an amusing game, even if the other players don’t feel the same way. And if they truly don’t wish to play, they can always leave; as if! Guards have set this district in a more or less complete lockdown. And everyone knows it’s not to hold the culprit here; it’s for the people. They can’t have the other districts overflow, or have people leave the city, otherwise what would happen to their precious tax income? And of course they need their guinea pigs- lambs of slaughter I say- to get more hints and clues to further their limping investigation. I’ve noticed they’ve been cursing their protectors more than their killers on their deathbed as of late; not that I’ve suddenly grown a bleeding heart, personally I find it quite amusing. I have to say though, I do pity the lower ranks of the guards that do the actual investigating. Higher brass who locked ‘em in here are safe in their ivory towers (they aren’t) while the guards down here come across my rosy works and barf, which is quite rude if I have to say.
Oh yeah, I’ve been getting into art as well recently. I know it’s bad taste, but “what is art if not a way to express oneself”- I think someone once said that to me anyway. Recently I’ve been thinking this pond has gotten a bit small for me, I think I’ll likely see what a district closer to the castle has to offer, perhaps I’ll have some towers to climb.
But for now, I’ve noticed a few rats following me again, it’s not very rare but not exactly common either, so I’ll have to take care of this, making as little ‘a commotion as possible, I bid thee adieu.
I think I’ll be able to make a pretty flower with these ones.
