#processing love

[saltgrave-prose-poetry]

I love you in the way a dog doesn't know what its own paws are called, but will bite someone who shouldn't be touching them. I love you in the way cat claws can find their mark or retract when unnecessary. I love you in the way an upwind breeze can be welcome or annoying.

I am not one to process emotions well or quickly or consistently. I don't like a lot of stimuli, yet I cannot handle stagnation or a colorless, tasteless moment. I'm so sorry I am hard to love sometimes; I struggle to understand what I am supposed to feel and do. I am committed to being truthful to myself and to you, and sometimes that means admitting I want to dig my fangs into you. I feel untamed, feral, and cornered when I try to love you. I do not understand how to be a doll or a delicate flower or an enchanting melody. I only understand narrowed eyes, stiff lips, and the cool air of your breath on my neck if I turn my back on you.

I love you in the way a lion is not the strongest, fastest, or smartest beast, but is one a widely respected predator nonetheless. I love you in the way it is dangerous for a water buffalo to cross deep rivers, but still strides in because of instinct and need. I love you in the way a pack of wolves keeps its strongest members at the back when traveling, so the weak are not left behind.

I have a feeling in my gut that I should be with you, even when I don't feel like being a fragile, harmless, little rabbit. My instinct is to trust you. Even if I had claws and bloodlust, I couldn't lay a finger on you.

[mcloud]

How I'm Overthinking This || January 27 2024

I try to sit down and draw you casually,

But I get obsessed in the details.

Anytime I put pen to paper,

I seem to fail.

How am I supposed to show all the ways I see you?

There’s everything to admire.

My eyes continue to dart and dance,

Like one gets lost to the glow of a fire. 

So instead, I’ve settled for something a little less,

Cause I just have to get it off my chest.

I Love you.

[mcloud]

Did You Know || December 13 2022

Do you know how many emotions you cause us? In the late hours of night we cannot sleep because your face remains on blast through our mind. Your sweet face and heart send our own into overdrive.

Unsure of our emotions, we are left a mess: wanting to run away, wanting to cling and stay.

Did you know that our emotions pour out of us through every limb? Feet bouncing, heart fluttering, mouth smiling, fingers grasping. We want it all to stop, yet the process would be sure to start all over again.

Do you realize how much we love you? It’s a scary thing to think about.

You are so wonderfully good for us, we think. (I’d hate to be wrong) We know we deserve the best, but to say we deserve you? I don’t know.

I know we are lovable and that we deserve all that is good in the world. We are just scared of any possibility in which that good is taken away.

We deserve you and all of your goodness, Please, stars above, don’t let us regret it. Because did you know how much it would hurt if we were to lose you?

[mimisxm]

There comes a time when you're tired of telling him what to do. You let yourself slip away, until one day you wake up and you no longer want or need him.

NM

[mimisxm]

After a while she'll start to get bored, she'll stop waiting for texts and phone calls. She'll stop expecting anything. Slowly she'll disappear and one day you won't find her anymore.

NM

[mimisxm]

Men only realize after they've lost it all that they had a good thing going and they ruined it. The sad thing is once the woman has moved on, it's over there's no going back. But, there's that little period of time before she does move on that a man could swallow his pride and come back. They usually do, but they take it for granted and lose it all once more and this time for good.

NM

[mimisxm]

The owl and the wolf

The Owl: Why is it hard for people to be kind?

Care a little.

Show a little love.

The Wolf: They do show a little but we show too much. So much that theirs becomes insignificant.They start to feel like they're not enough and stop making efforts.

The Owl: But they should just be encouraged.

We try to help them grow and in return they tell us we're drowning them.

The Wolf: Because deep down they know they don't deserve our help.