#projecteis

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DELTA-001-B "PROJECT ERASMUS" CHAPTER 4- Never

         “You were the only one who chose not to watch the first procedure, Michelle. Why is that?”

                Because of the confidential nature of the project, an entirely new facility had been built to house, sustain, and train Delta-531. Faculty housing was also a part of this secret location, as all of us assigned had chosen to fully immerse ourselves in our work and live alongside the monster we had created. There was a small cafeteria near the staff’s respective living quarters, and I was seated across from Dr. Wurzburg, sipping the worst cup of coffee I’d ever had.

  “I wasn’t a part of engineering those augmentations. Also, any excuse to not be in the same room as Decker is good enough for me.”

Wurzburg snorted. He had always appreciated my sense of humor. I knew him well enough, however, to tell this wasn’t just water cooler talk. He was checking in on me. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t losing it after 6 months of watching the same kid I had shoved into a van screaming turn into a fucking cyborg.

“Fair enough. But you can’t just discredit yourself because you’re not the brains of the operation. Hell, if anything, your place in this was infinitely more important. And you did it alone.”

                I exhaled before setting down my coffee. There was no point in trying to evade Wurzburg’s real motive. He was the director of social sciences for a reason, after all.

“She doesn’t deserve this. No one does, but especially not her. Baranoski may have chosen me under the assumption that my past has turned me into an emotionless machine, but he doesn’t know shit. Do you know what she kept saying, over and over, while I was pulling her into the car?”

                There’s a very rare and special connection between a mentor and his former pupil. When you’ve plucked someone from obscurity and still remember all the stumbling and falling on their face that happened in those first few years, even when they stand before you entirely transformed, you truly know who they are. You know the deepest depths of them, you know their worst fears and highest aspirations. You know just how low they can sink, and just how quickly they can rise.

                Wurzburg understood me, and when I locked eyes with him in that dimly-lit cafeteria, he felt as well as heard every word that came out of my mouth.

“Why. She kept asking me why, why was I doing this? Why was this mean lady taking her from her parents, from her friends, from her life- why?”

                I swallowed, hard. I knew everything that happened in this facility was written down, and even casual conversation was recorded. In that moment, I was glad nothing was private. I wanted Baranoski to hear this.

“But even if I was allowed to tell her the reason, I couldn’t. I didn’t know, and I don’t know. I’ll never know. There will never be a day when I can say, with complete certainty, why they chose to do this to a child- an innocent. Honestly, I don’t want to know.”

[projecteis-blog-blog]

DELTA-531-B "PROJECT ERASMUS' CHAPTER 3- Choice

It didn’t take long to narrow down the candidates who would best suit the project. We had anything and everything we needed- birth certificates, school records, family histories going as far back as the cradle of civilization. The hard part wasn’t finding them, it was choosing, out of all the dossiers of innocent faces, which one would have to bear the weight of the entire world. As much as Decker had griped about her involvement with the project, at least she didn’t have to be the one to damn a normal, happy child to a life of sick experimentation and endless servitude.

                A week had passed since the initial briefing, and it was nearly 5am when I was still hunched over my desk going through the files. I was down to the final 20 in a competition no one even knew they were in, and if they did they certainly wouldn’t have wanted to win.  There were 12 girls and 8 boys, the ratio offset by the likelihood that a male subject would be more prone to insubordination come puberty.  They were all American children, between the ages of 4 and 8, with no history of aggression or mental illness. They were healthy, came from stable families, and did well in school. 19 had bright futures ahead of them, but only one had the gaping maw of an unspeakable hell looming just out of sight.

                I considered taping all the photos to the wall and throwing a dart at them, but Baranoski had been clear- none of this could be left up to chance. Every last detail had to be scrutinized- every ear infection and common cold examined with excruciating precision, every tantrum and hissy fit analyzed and explained. There was no margin for error, or mercy. It still puzzles me why the first and most important step was left in the hands of an agent, a glorified mercenary with a long track record of unspeakable acts. Maybe they thought I was heartless enough to feel no guilt over the matter. If they did, they were wrong.

                Eventually, one of the photos began to stick out amongst the others, one of a little blonde girl with shiny blue eyes and missing front teeth.  Her name was Cassandra Bethany Dorsey, age 6, born to average parents in an average town. Everyone called her “Cassie” and her favorite things in the world were the color purple and her dog, Pepper. But none of that was what separated her from the other candidates.

 The difference between Cassie Dorsey and the other children up for consideration was one tiny thing, something seemingly insignificant but profoundly remarkable. She had Postaxial Polydactyly, the presence of a sixth digit next to the pinky on both hands and feet.  All of her supernumerary digits had normal sensation, and shockingly- joints. They were all valid, usable fingers and toes. In modern medicine, any form of Polydactyl was considered a deformity, but the trait itself was actually dominant in humans and had simply become rarer and rarer over time for unknown reasons. This “mutation” did not exempt her because technically, it wasn’t a malformation at all.

       There was a brief moment where I wondered if Pepper would miss his best friend, if Mom and Dad would ever recover from the horrible tragedy that took their precious little girl. The thing was- it didn’t matter. A good agent never ignores their intuition, and my intuition had spoken. She was the one.

                  4 days after my decision was approved, little Cassie Dorsey was reportedly abducted and killed on her way home from school. Her remains were found several months later, weighed down and wrapped in a black tarp at the bottom of a lake not far from her home. Her alleged murderer was a local sex offender, who was tried and sentenced to life.

But Cassie Dorsey was not the body buried by her grieving family. She was alive, strapped to a gurney in an empty, sterilized room with a viewing window.  Her head was shaved, and her veins were filled with Pentobarbital. She was in an induced coma, with a feeding tube, catheterized, and being prepped for the surgery that would merge her with Megumi Ukiyo’s greatest abomination. After her memory was wiped clean, she had been kept under observation until the collaborative efforts of 4 people birthed a series of neural implantations that promised to make her faster, stronger, and completely obedient.

Cassie Dorsey was now Delta-531, and her nightmare was about to begin.

[projecteis-blog-blog]

DELTA-531-B “PROJECT ERASMUS” CHAPTER 2- Panic

Everyone in the room, from the woman known for her exceptional skills in regards to live vivisection to the man who filled a testing chamber with teenage boys and watched them beat each other to death over an xbox controller, was in stunned silence.  If we hadn’t all been seated beforehand, there would’ve been a pile of professional sociopaths strewn about the floor. Whoever this Dr. Baranoski was, he was either a genius, absolutely insane, or both.

                The first to speak was Decker, who was so appalled by the very concept of her latest assignment all she could do was shout angrily and pound her fists on the table.

“This is absolutely- absolutely fucking ridiculous! Is this a joke? Do you have any idea what a waste of time and resources it would be to even attempt something so-“

                A soft, yet stern voice silenced the outburst.

“Corinne. I am aware that you are accustomed to dolling out orders rather than receiving them, but I have to remind you that you are not in any position to refuse this assignment. This is a briefing, not a proposal.”

                Ukiyo had shut her down with ease, and you could practically hear the older woman’s blood boiling under her thin, veiny flesh.

“You know just as well as I do, Megumi, that this is beyond insane. You know there’s no fucking way in hell-“

                Again, Dr. Ukiyo was unmoved by Decker’s words, scathing as they were.

“As I said- this is a briefing, not a proposal. You can either calm yourself, Dr. Decker, or I will call security to escort you out.”

                She didn’t even have to raise her voice, that one. If I wasn’t still reeling from what I had just heard, I would’ve felt an envious respect for Ukiyo’s unmarred composure. It was clear who would be in charge of putting everyone in their place, should they lose sight of the fact we had no choice in what we were about to do.  Whether this was a good thing or not, I’m still not sure.

                Regardless of how any of us felt about it, there was a job to do. The necessary documents were handed out, the oaths of secrecy were conducted, and 5 people left that boardroom knowing nothing would ever be the same for any of them. Baranoski had laid out the plan, and there was to be absolutely no coloring outside of the lines. Phase one had already started, and unfortunately for me, this was where I came in.

                It was time to find a host, a subject- the one whose very existence would be wiped from the records and remolded to fit our needs. Somewhere out there was the poor soul with the misfortune of meeting Baranoski’s rigid requirements, and I had been tasked with finding them and handing them over. We needed someone who wouldn’t put up a fight, someone who was too naïve to question us- we needed a child.

[projecteis-blog-blog]

PLEASE READ

Project Erasmus is a short story I'm in the process of writing, and it is not intended to be funny. It's posted here because while I did make this tumblr with the intentions of only posting weird, funny shit I also enjoy writing serious things, and I don't feel like making another tumblr solely for one story. Project Erasmus is to an extent tied in with EIS, but it isn't one in the same. All chapters will be under a cut, as the story is anything but lighthearted, and if I tried to put trigger warnings for everything that could be potentially upsetting my hands would probably fall off. I will still be posting the funny stuff, but probably not as often. 

As I said, Project Erasmus is not satire. It's basically the opposite of funny, and if you can't stomach it- don't read it. Some of you may enjoy the story but find the content or subject matter too disturbing for your tastes- and for that I'm sorry, but please don't message me about the lack of trigger warnings. As I said, I'm not going to take the time to put 5,000 tags on each chapter. You've been warned.

For a better explanation of the story itself and how it is technically part of the EIS universe, click the big white letters on the navigation bar that say PROJECT ERASMUS. 

-Monica

[projecteis-blog-blog]

Delta-531-B “Project Erasmus” Chapter 1- Intro

We thought we could control it. We thought it was for the greater good, that it would help so much more than it would hurt. But we were fools, and we paid dearly for it.

I still remember the meeting where the initial briefing for the project was given. There were 5 of us, all the highest ranking in our respective fields, except for myself. Among all those that had excelled and advanced to become the very best of the best, I felt more than slightly out of place. Little did I know, regardless of our worth to our superiors, every one of us at that table would be remembered only as the ones chosen for what would be the biggest fuck up in the entire history of our organization.

                  First was Dr. Thompson, the director of psychology. He was a plain man, but well liked for his good attitude and humor, something that was rare in our line of work. Despite his informal outlook, he took his work very seriously and it had landed him the top spot amongst all the EIS shrinks. He knew when to lighten up and when to drop the comic relief, and it had served him well.

                Next to Thompson was Dr. Decker, the director of physiology.  Her reputation painted her as a cold, mechanical woman with little to no time for anything but analytics and autopsies. I had never met her prior to the first meeting, but one look into those steely grey eyes was enough to confirm she did not fuck around. She was the oldest out of everyone involved at the age of 56, and her experience and expertise would be invaluable.

                With basic human emotion and anatomy covered, Dr. Ukiyo would be the one to set the foundation of the project into motion. Little was known about the inner workings of the esteemed director of robotics and artificial intelligence, but without her none of this would’ve been possible. She was fluent in more languages than I could name off the top of my head, and if the rumors were true she had never once lost her shit in the 19 years she’d worked for EIS. That in itself was an impressive enough feat to earn her a seat at the table before us.

                The last of the directors was Dr. Wurzburg, the grizzly old man at the head of our extensive social sciences department, and my personal mentor. It was him who had approached me at the shitty coffee shop I worked at to keep myself afloat through college, simply stating “you have the look of someone who needs a purpose”. He left nothing but a phone number scrawled on a napkin, but it was enough to change my life forever. His presence made me nostalgic for the days of learning things like how to load a gun, and when to aim for the chest instead of the legs.

                  Once we had all assembled and the shuffling of paperwork and half-hearted greetings had ceased, a voice came over the loud speaker. It was an unfamiliar voice, but it was obvious it belonged to an older man, someone who was very, very important. Important enough that measures were taken to make sure everyone involved never had a face to put with the name we were about to hear.

  “Hello. I am Dr. Baranoski, and I’m sure all of you are wondering why you have been gathered here this morning. I’ll get to that momentarily, but first it must be established that everything, absolutely everything, even the very existence of this project itself, is to never leave this room.”

[projecteis-blog-blog]

Interview 420-1

                On [REDACTED], a young man named [DATA EXPUNGED] approached our organization, claiming he had figured out the meaning of life and the origin of the universe. The following is an interview of [DATA EXPUNGED], hereafter referred to as Subject-420, conducted by Dr. [REDACTED]. It is noted Dr. [REDACTED] is a certified astrophysicist and is well respected in his field.

Interview 420-1

Subject-420: Doc, listen. Listen, man. I got it, I figured it out. I swear.

Dr. [REDACTED]: I’m listening, [DATA EXPUNGED], but first can you explain exactly what it is you have there?

Subject-420: Crystals, man. This one is called Apop- Apophyl-something.

Dr. [REDACTED]: Apophyllite?

Subject 420: Yeah, yeah. That’s it. I know this guy who’s all into these minerals and shit, he gave me this and I didn’t really think much about it but then the craziest shit happened last night.

Dr. [REDACTED]: Go on.

Subject-420: Well, I was smoking this straight up headfunk called Electric-Baby-Jesus-Boogaloo and I figured maybe if I rubbed the Apop-Apopylitite on my face I’d get even more faded. That’s when it happened, man.

(At this point, Dr. [REDACTED]’s expression can only be described as pained and confused.)

Subject-420: So I’m rubbing this rock all over my face, and suddenly Bruce Lee jumps out of the poster over my bed and he’s like, freaking out. He’s like- [DATA EXPUNGED], you gotta listen to me, we don’t have much time.

Dr. [REDACTED]: Oh god.

Subject-420: So Bruce Lee is standing in front of me, and he’s wearing this sick kimono. He tells me the truth is, the real truth is, we’re all carrots. We’re just carrots.

Dr. [REDACTED}: Um. How so?

Subject-420: We’re the roots, man. We think we’re the whole vegetable, but we’re just the part under the ground. We all need to wake up and start thinking with the, uh, the green part. The part sticking out of the ground.

(Dr. [REDACTED] blinks several times then rubs his temples.)

Dr. [REDACTED]: So what you’re telling me is that you smoked marijuana, rubbed Apophyllite on your face, and Bruce Lee appeared to you saying that all sentient beings are carrots unaware that they are, in fact, root vegetables?

Subject-420: That’s it, man. It all makes sense. Think about it.

Dr. [REDACTED]: I…I…[REDACTED], I can’t do this. We’re ending this interview. I need to…I need to be alone.

                The interview was concluded at this point as Dr. [REDACTED] began to experience significant dysphoria, anger, and sadness. Dr. [REDACTED] was subsequently taken to the infirmary and given a full psychological evaluation, after which he was granted 6 months of paid leave. Subject-420 was escorted out of the facility by security staff and returned to his apartment in [REDACTED],[REDACTED] where the aforementioned marijuana was seized for testing. It was discovered that while the particular strain of marijuana itself was unremarkable, traces of DMT were found in high enough amounts to explain Subject-420’s behavior and the complete lack of neurological activity in his prefrontal cortex.

  Note from Director[REDACTED]-

                We’re locking the doors from now on. All of them. This is now protocol, and anyone who fails to follow through will be [DATA EXPUNGED] at the discretion of Dr. [REDACTED]. No one should’ve had to sit through that, and it is not to happen again, ever. You have been warned.

[projecteis-blog-blog]

Entire Town in Hysteria Over Widespread Cellphone Disappearances

What can only be described as an unexplained phenomenon seems to be occurring in [REDACTED],[REDACTED] after all smart phones in the area mysteriously vanished early Monday morning. The bizarre scenario first caught the attention of local media after students attending [REDACTED] High School began to exhibit strange symptoms, including actually paying attention in class and constant complaints of no longer knowing what to do with their hands. As grades rise dramatically and families now speak at the dinner table, the shaken community fears that without access to applications such as Instagram and Vine citizens will soon be forced to take up actual hobbies.

                Several members of the community have come forward to bring awareness to this unexplained epidemic, one stating “I actually had a conversation with my husband last night. I can’t even explain it, it was horrible- like we actually had things in common or something.” Affected teenagers seem to be particularly devastated, leaving area hospitals nearly full with young patients suffering from severe Candy Crush withdrawals. Officials have yet to release a statement addressing the situation or any possible solution, and Governor [REDACTED] has declined several interviews due to health issues, claiming that without the ability to take and post photos of every meal he eats it is nearly impossible for him to consume food. Anyone with information regarding the cause of this devastating turn of events is to stand in a busy shopping district and yell it at the top of their lungs. 

[projecteis-blog-blog]

Testing Log #4

Subjects include 2 groups of 2: Group A being two female subjects in their mid-twenties, Group B being two male subjects in their mid-twenties. All groups include subjects with very different backgrounds, religious beliefs, and interests

For the first half of the experiment, 4 separate testing areas were provided for each individual subject. The testing areas have been fitted with computers already opened to Youtube, specifically a page streaming a 3 minute video entitled [DATA EXPUNGED] which has since gone viral due to its controversial nature. Subjects are instructed to watch the video in its entirety then leave a comment expressing their opinion on the provided content. 12 minutes into testing, all subjects had watched the clip and commented as instructed. As expected, both groups represented completely parallel views on the video, with one subject supporting the content enthusiastically and the other disgusted and strongly opposed to the clip’s message.

Subjects were then instructed to freely debate the content of the video with the corresponding member of their group, again using the comment section of the webpage. Both groups immediately seemed highly irritated by the other’s differing opinion on the topic and even the initial responses were in a condescending, mildly aggressive tone. The subjects in both Group A and Group B argued back and forth for approximately 45 minutes, with each response becoming increasingly more and more hostile. Both debates shifted quickly from rudely persuasive to blatant attacks on the other subject’s intellect, appearance, and lifestyle, despite none of the subjects having ever met or interacted prior to testing.

After the 45 minutes had passed, both groups were escorted into two separate, empty testing areas and informed that the other subject was the person they had been corresponding with during the first half of the experiment. Upon receiving this information, all subjects became visibly uncomfortable and refused to make eye contact with each other. This avoidant behavior continued for 30 minutes with no subject attempting to speak or acknowledge the other in any way, causing researchers to end testing due to the extreme, mind-blowing awkwardness experienced by everyone involved.

Directly following the experiment, all test subjects were allowed to return to their private quarters to sit on their beds facepalming for a 2 hour cool-down period. Afterwards, Subject B-2 was interviewed by an on-site psychologist regarding the sudden and extreme change of behavior, a portion of which is transcripted below.

Interview 4-B-1

Dr. [REDACTED]: You seemed incredibly worked up about what was said, why didn’t you confront Subject B-1 in person?

Subject B-2: I…I don’t know.

Dr. [REDACTED]: You threatened to [DATA EXPUNGED] his mother.

Subject B-2: Yeah…I did say that. Shit.

Dr. [REDACTED]: Do you regret what happened?

Subject B-2: They were wrong! I mean, they’re no better. They said-

Dr. [REDACTED]: Answer the question, B-2.

Subject B-2: I don’t know...it…it was ridiculous. It just…it all seems so stupid when I actually think about it. I’m…I’m an asshole…I’m a huge asshole.

Dr. [REDACTED]: That’s all we need. You may leave now, B-2.

  It is noted that as Subject B-2 was exiting the facility they repeatedly requested to see B-1 and apologize. This request was denied due to B-1 having fled their private quarters in an embarrassed frenzy through an unlocked window immediately after testing was concluded.