@proudtodefy wanted some modified DE James
The Order Meeting was a boring one, a pointless one. It seemed, anytime the conversation was about to get interesting, Alice Longbottom would interrupt with something inane. Something they already fucking knew, information James could do absolutely nothing with. He swore, he caught her glancing at him every so often, swore he felt her eyes drift to his arm that was firmly covered by his shirt sleeves. He was sure he’d felt her keen eyes on him as he’d winced when the Mudblood had piped up, as though she had any say in the world. As if she had any right to be discussing the magical community in any capacity.
She shouldn’t even be alive.
“Are we done here?” He asked suddenly, the mark on his arm burning slightly. He could sense he’d need to leave soon, need to go back and report on what had been discussed. “We don’t seem to have anything important we’re discussing, unless Longbottom wants to go through the dangers of cauldrons not being the correct thickness again?”
He could feel the looks on him, couldn’t help thinking maybe he was saying something wrong. But how could he be? He’d been doing this his whole life hadn’t he? He’d always been playing a role, fighting for the correct cause stealthily. Then why did he feel as though those eyes on him weren’t gonna quit? Why did he feel that everything he said was somehow not what they expected to come out of his mouth?
Somewhere, in the back of his mind. He knew he wasn’t smiling as much as he should, he knew he wasn’t making jokes, wasn’t acting right. But that thought was buried amongst others, amongst many planted memories of what he thought his life had been. The problem with Voldemort fucking with your memories, was that when creating a false life, Voldemort didn’t understand the human element. Love or friendship. He didn’t know how to keep a personality intact when changing someone’s ideals.
“Longbottom, did you have something you wanted to talk to me about?” He asked bluntly as the meeting dispersed, figuring he’d tackle that head on. “Or d’you just fancy me so much you can’t stop staring?”












