It's my mom/inventor's birthday today and she just got her first smart phone. She wanted to FaceTime so she got a good, long look at my unwashed morning-after-a-night-of-medium-debauchery face. She told me I looked like Andy Warhol then asked if I'd done a "walk of shame" this morning. I got her to tell me what she thought "walk of shame" actually meant, and, when I finally stopped laughing, explained that the expression does not mean "pounding back too many brewskis, walking home late, and then falling asleep in your makeup." See also: the time I had to clarify that "mustache rides" did not mean letting birds/small pets hangout in your facial hair after she told me she got looks for making reference to mustache rides at church. I kind of want to make a prude version of Urban Dictionary so everyone can enjoy her chaste re-imaginings of contemporary sexual slang.