If it's not too much trouble, could you please explain more about the headmate that's a pseudomiddle? I'm not sure I fully understand what is meant by that, and it seems interesting so I'd love to learn more about them.
yeah no problem! so for my example i am using dirk. dirk is stuck at age 16 because that is the age he was before he came to this system and trauma has him kinda stuck there. while he identifies as being 16 he also has the full mental capacity to interact with adult concepts and give consent. he is a sexual trauma holder so it is actually kind of important for him to be able to interact with those kinds of topics in order for him to heal. so hes like, fully mature, he just identifies as 16/can struggle with the intense emotions that come with being a teenager sometimes.
the opposite case would be members of my system like vul or riley, who are 7/5 respectively. both of them are basically just children and i keep them away from adult topics bc they cant handle them. their role is to be smol and i try and keep it that way. i think being exposed to adult topics would be immensely harmful for them. however i do know plenty of other systems who have littles who are like dirk and hold sexual trauma as well.
the way these sort of things work really varies from system to system and to apply a blanket rule to them is really infuriating.