@psitu asked: ❝ i think we deserve a small pat on the back for that. ❞
he hates that his first instinct is to reply, no , we absolutely do not. he hates that in the wake of positvity, the first emotion that always coiled within his metallic chest was anger or denial, spitting venom. cliff was one mad son of a bitch and he always would be, and he hated it -- especially when rita was here ( that fact alone something to be so happy about, so grateful for ) , looking at him with chocolate brown eyes, a hand laying on top of his cold metal one to comfort even though she knew he couldn’t feel it. no eyes, no throat, no tears to cry ; cliff sometimes felt himself wishing he just , for once, could express everything through one perfect, guttural scream into the void.
but he knew that not even screaming would make the baggage any lighter. and maybe that’s why he would always be pissed. no easy fixes in a world of complications.
“ i know you’re right, doll, “ cliff said with a heavy sigh , those words being words he felt like he said all the time lately. “ it’s just fucking - chief, he’s in my goddamn head telling me nothing i’ll ever do is enough. it’s not enough to save the world fifty - fuckin’ - times, it’s not enough to even just survive ... “ the robotman shook his head, trying to muster a chuckle ; he patted the fleshy hand on top of his with his free hand. “ i don’t know. i know i’ve been saying it since sixty - three , but god damn do i need therapy ‘cuz of all this shit. “