#putpat

[chicademartinica]

Put you manipulative rat ! That I love you ?? The veiled threat of outing Jeng ????!!! THE SOCIAL MEDIA BLACKOUT ?!!

[poetry-protest-pornography]

I am still formulating Thoughts about episode 7, but I am Many Feelings, friends.

(Oops, I ending up writing an essay, so I guess I did have lots of thoughts.)

Feelings about Put being so eager to love Pat properly this time, that he can't acknowledge that he is still putting his career first, that he's distant in a way that is actively hurting Pat, all for the need to protect his job.

Feelings about how clear it is that Put and Pat still love each other, but can't yet allow for the reality that it's not what they need.

Feelings about how what Put is doing isn't even wrong -- he's not being cruel intentionally! He's protecting himself and trying so hard to make it work with Pat! -- it's just unfair to both of them. He wants to be with Pat, he wants to stop being lonely as he builds his career, and I genuinely believe that he loves Pat! It's just not enough for them to fit together now.

Feelings about how Put is realizing these things, but is unwilling to give up the chance to fix things; to admit defeat. Feelings about how he sees what's there between Pat and Jeng, and he's jealous, but it doesn't make him immediately possessive, he's scared to lose Pat, and he's guilty about the things he can't offer him.

Feelings about that scene with Put and Jeng, where they establish that they Know what the other wants from Pat, and low-key threaten each other, but both walk away feeling guilty and called out.

Feelings about how Pat wants Put to be able to love him the way he needs, and how he has, since the moment Put became a part of his life again, so easily gravitated to him. To the comfort that familiarity offers, to the respite from his own loneliness, and the promise of healing the part of him that still loves and misses Put.

Feelings about how lonely all three of them are:

Pat seeking familiarity and connection with Put, and with pyramid scheme guy. Pat being drawn over and over to Jeng, and sharing details of his life, and still struggling with the reality of their positions, and how he can't let himself want Jeng. Pat's heart visibly breaking when he isn't able to get what he wants from Put, when the connection and comfort he wants and needs is unable to be freely given. Pat purposely leaving the pain of that realization to seek out Jeng, but unable to reach for him without getting drunk (and them both leaning into the excuse of inebriation to provide cover for the feelings they're leaking all over, and for touches that can be written off).

Put desperately reaching out for forgiveness, for reconciliation, for the connection and love that Pat offered him in the past, that he's held onto and is all twisted up with regret and longing and guilt and love. Put being forced into the closet, into having to hide his feelings for Pat-- for his career, instead of because of his own fear and uncertainty this time, but still wanting Pat so desperately.

Put being so afraid of discovery, of Chot knowing, of Jeng knowing, of his manager knowing, that it makes him walk away from drunk Pat, and have to leave him to Jeng to take care of.

Jeng, holding himself apart from his coworkers to maintain control of his image, and control in general. Holding himself back from Pat, when he realizes that he's his boss now, keeping physical barriers between them to avoid giving in to the urge to touch him, but unable to stop reaching out emotionally.

Jeng only being shown to regularly interact with his brother, and his restaurant partner (and his niece, but even his sister seems to be regularly absent from these interactions), and then with Pat and his friends, and the crew of the film, but only Jaab outside of work for several episodes. How playful he has let himself be with Pat versus the stern detachment of their first interactions. How awkward and distant he is with his parents, how so much of his kindness is done without witness (buying the baked goods, advocating for Pat with the clients, etc). *It was fascinating to see him take care of Pat with Chot right there*

Feelings about how Chot sees what's happening, and is trying to make sure Pat knows he's in Pat's corner, whatever happens (but still teasing, as besties are wont to do).

Feelings about Jen and Jaab, and how far apart they are this whole episode. About Jen reaching out, but Jaab pulling away, unwilling to be a consolation prize, and afraid to be hurt after loving Jen silently for so long. About how both of them are so obviously hurting, so obviously missing each other and their friendship, so obviously wanting.

Feelings about how the lines are shrinking and blurring so beautifully, even as all of them continue to tiptoe on them.

And don't get me started on my feelings about how Put goes on the defensive in the preview.

Oh look, I guess I had enough thoughts, oops.

[chicademartinica]

Putpat wack ass kiss:

Me:

*your.

[chicademartinica]

THESE SHOTS !!!!! Oh this show doesn’t play with the framing. My notes said : THE FRAMING SAID PUT IS OUTSIDE OF PAT’S LIFE.

[blmpff]

oh no no no no no I'm so weak when it comes to hand kisses

[blmpff]

06.06.2023

[blmpff]

06.06.2023

[hillmynamusic]

Yeah! "Waves And Sunset" feiert #Premiere beim Online-Musiksender #PutPat! http://tinyurl.com/njypg4e #music #musicvideo #summer #waves #swimming #kids