#pythoria.txt

[pythoria]

Screenshot redraw from the new Deadpool and Wolverine movie (Wade is feeling a bit shy being tied to THE Wolverine)

[pythoria]

pov: you catch a wild batstarion. he does NOT like being manhandled !

[pythoria]

i don't think you can fully understand astarion until you do an origin run tbh, or at least watch a video of his dream and all the responses you can give. it's hinted at in the final dialogue with cazador with his "you've never forgiven anything", but astarion wasn't some indisciplined brat who "deserved" or "kinda asked for it". He would apologise and beg for forgiveness, he would mind cazador's wishes and schedule and be constantly anxious about it, and the only reason that he got the worst of his wrath wasn't because his personality is just abrasive and it angered cazador, it was purely for entertainment, because he begged the prettiest, he screamed the loudest, etc. You can make the argument that he was the most vulnerable of the spawn, the least powerful, the runt of the pack.

Sure, he wasn't a great person while he was alive what with all his magistrate bs, but he was young and a bit of a dick, not evil. When he was alive and kinda abused some of his privilege as a magistrate that was posturing, underneath it there was always weakness and self-doubt. And when he was stripped of that little power he had, he became his "truest" (or rather basest) self, which was a scared boy who wanted to make it big or impress his superiors. On some level I think he admired Cazador for all the power he had, and we know that at the ritual "he wanted to be just like him". I don't think he would ever purposefully anger someone he looked up to, even with all the shit he was forced to do. For 200 years he was an obedient puppet, and it was his shortcomings, not his defiance that earned him all the torture.

So when you meet him after the nautiloid crash, you aren't seeing a single genuine personality trait of his. Not until the love confession in act 2. All you're seeing for the majority of 2 acts is a mask, a character he created, as well as him in full survival mode. Of course he doesn't want you helping innocents, this might be his only chance to escape, he doesn't want that derailed. Honestly, you don't really see the "real" him until after you've killed cazador. For anyone who finished his quest, y'all know how different he acts in the graveyard scene. He's uncharacteristically soft, even nice, and yes he's angry and he can't undo centuries of suffering, but you've helped him come back to himself. By act 3 he already stops rlly dissaproving of helping people, and when talking to the gurs he's defensive because he doesn't want to get their hopes up and dissapoint them, not because he wouldn't give anything to help. Astarion at his core is sassy, sure, but he is undoubtedly *nice*. He's a good person, he feels so much guilt for what he's done and sympathy for his victims, and he *has* to push it all down lest the psychological pain alone kills him. He likes killing, sure, but more as a sport than a past time. And honestly i could go on and on but let's leave it at that for now.

[pythoria]

i love gale because when elminster shows up, if you ask him "so if the gods know what's going on, why are we struggling with this bullshit alone?" gale APPROVES. yes, he's devoted to mystra, yes, he would die for her, but if you question her choices he mumbles in agreement and he makes it known he's fucking salty. even better is if you ask him if he's still bound by her rules, and he goes "hah! that's a good question isn't it" and he's all sour about it and i LOVE that his mindless devotion isn't so mindless, that even after everything he's smart enough to recognise the ridiculousness of everything.

i love how act 2 is the start of his rebellion and how he then goes on to build that shadow lantern despite knowing mystra would dissaprove. one of the things about gale is that he never walked the straight and narrow, he was always different and a bit of a menace and losing mystra's favor is a blessing in disguise because it allows him to explore magic freely again, without her breathing down his shoulder. it's such a joy to see him shyly reclaim his autonomy and allow himself to have opinions that go against mystra's.

[pythoria]

i hadn't seen what cazador says if you read his thoughts until just now, and wow. you really are creating cazador 2.0 if you ascend astarion. cazador feels just as alone and trapped by his immortality as i suspected about ascended astarion. he calls *himself* a "monster that will not end" and grieves the boy he was and the man he became. he "sleeps, but cannot rest", he is "eternal and he grieves". his voice is full of desperation and in that moment you really see how sad and pathetic he really is, but what hurts the most is seeing astarion perfectly reflected there. cycles of abuse fuck me up, man. i'm so glad tav is there to break them.

[pythoria]

something i've seen people complain about is the fact that all the origin characters are these super-powerful people, and that for example gale is an archmage but you start the game at level 1 so he can only cast firebolt ha ha point and laugh. this is... really silly. not only because you're going to start at level 1 regardless (because it's a game), but because them being very powerful actually makes sense from a narrative standpoint! they're not just some randos that the mindflayers happened to capture, they're powerful people that were abducted so that the dead 3's chosen could expand their influence.

of course you would want mystra's chosen tadpoled. of course you would want zariel's right hand under your spell. of course you would want The Blade of Frontiers (ravengard's son!! they probably thought they could extort ravengard, or blackmail him). sure, shadowheart and astarion aren't powerful and influential, but they have connections to the hidden cloister of shar and cazador szarr and his palace, two places that are very hard to either find or get spies into. and obviously tadpoling githyanki helps you destroy the gith from the inside, and since the gith are mindflayer's sworn enemies, you can see why controlling them would be useful.

point is, when you crash-land on that beach, you're not meeting run-of-the-mill ilithid thralls. you're meeting elites, people that are important to gortash's plan, and people who were already considered a threat to gortash and his buddies. i wouldn't be surprised if the ship they were all on was specifically a ship of future political pawns to play an important role in the grand design. and at the end of it all, it's not really surprising that these people would be The Three's undoing. you're not playing as random people who found themselves tasked with saving the world. saving the world was already going to be their job (for the most part).

[pythoria]

They are very special to me

Inspired by this wonderful 3d render you can see here

[pythoria]

feeling some feelings about gale tonight *cracks knuckles*; he was a child prodigy, he was in tune with the weave, and inevitably mystra, since he was just a little kid. imagine being so in tune with magic, feeling so comfortable and safe within its bounds, falling in love with something so beautiful as a child. it becomes your whole world. imagine being filled with such childish idealism, such hope, that your only desire becomes getting closer to this thing, this goddess, finding that love and safety and giving it form.

imagine growing up, finally getting the attention of your goddess, how starry eyed you must be, how proud of yourself. this is your whole world, the reason you're alive, your purpose in life. mystra is everything to you, the magic in your veins, the giddy feeling in your heart, the proud ego in your chest. and then she finally *sees* you for the first time, you end up sharing her bed, touching her, talking to her, earning her approval, and, you think, her love. magic is your job, your lover, the motherly embrace of childhood. of course you would try to ascend to be with mystra forever. of course you would want power, so she sees you as an equal. of course you want to impress her, she's all you've ever known.

and then when you fail, when a ticking bomb gets stuck in your chest, you get none of that love and care. she doesn't protect you, she doesn't even talk to you anymore. so you've lost everything you've ever held dear in one fell swoop, the basket you put all your eggs in shattered, and you're left with nothing. you're now a middle aged man, your whole life spent in service of your goddess, who abandoned you at the first sign of free will you've shown. you feel like a failure. you don't have any friends, nor lovers, and you fall from being an archmage to nearly becoming an ilithid thrall. and maybe you realise that were it not for the astral prism, you'd have become a mindflayer and mystra wouldn't have saved you.

maybe you realise she's completely written you off when elminster shows up and tells you she wants you to sacrifice yourself. maybe you think "is this what my life's work is worth? a lifetime of devotion? a second hand missive asking me to die?". but no matter how ridiculous the request, you're in too deep now. nobody would care if you died, mystra made sure you were always focused on her, never making meaningful connnections with other mortals, having no friends, foes, or lovers. if mystra forsakes you, you might as well not exist. so death to serve her might be the best ending you could've hoped for, really.

except along comes someone, and they also have a worm in their head, and you team up, and soon enough there's a bunch of you strutting around faerun, and suddenly someone *cares*. for the first time in years, you actually have... friends? and they're telling you mystra is insane, that you've been manipulated, they tell you that what mystra is asking is too much, that they want you to live. and you're defensive, of course. you still love mystra, and you can't get away from her either, because you feel her presence every time you cast as much as a firebolt, magic running through your veins like ambrosia, nectar and poison all at once. you conjure her face to gaze at, and when you start falling for tav, you show them the weave, because that's the only way you know how to love. eventually you accept that you might have to defy mystra to stay alive and suddenly you have a choice again. but in the process, everything you knew and loved turned to dust, and you had to build yourself back up from the ashes, all while smiling and laughing and trying fruitlessly to fit in with your companions, who find you stuck up and weird after so much isolation.

gale is such a tragic character, if you think about it.