#qeeunxfiles

[mervequeenx]

Moodlet Diaries - Not Going 🥀

"When I closed the door, something resonated inside me. Not so hard, not so soft. Kai's face haunts me. There was a slight disappointment in his eyes. He didn't offend me. But he couldn't hide the anticipation.

I… I guess I'm sorry.

But at the same time… I feel at peace. I've stayed true to myself. Knowing my limits, being able to protect them without having to explain them to someone - this is something new for me. I used to apologize in these moments. “I shouldn't be like this,” I used to say inside. But now I say: “This is how I am.”

I didn't go that day. It wasn't about him; it was about me. Maybe one day… I could go. I might knock on his door. But that day will be the day I'm ready inside myself.

One of my cats on my lap, the other in front of the window. The silence is good for me again. And I am alone again today, but my loneliness is my own."

[mervequeenx]

Moodlet Diaries - Recognition Pending 🐨

"Today was… complex. I had my one-on-one with the Supervisor, and on the surface, everything seemed fine. Smiles. Nods. Encouragement. But beneath that, I felt it — a subtle shift in how my work was being seen.

Something I poured my time, energy, and care into… was reduced to a passing mention. Worse, the narrative around it felt twisted, like someone had quietly rewritten the credits. I wasn’t looking for applause — just recognition. Instead, I walked away with the quiet ache of being understood but unseen.

In a world of bright desks and busy minds, it’s so easy for genuine effort to get blurred by louder voices. But I know what I built. And deep down, that has to be enough — even when it isn’t."