“Hiya! Been some time since we had a new installment, but it had been a hell o’ a rough time. Them monsters an’ everythin’ destroyin’ whatever isn’t originally s’pose t’ be here an’ all. Good news is that we’re in one piece. Bad news? Ain’t too sure. Were all still stuck here. I guess the better news may be that I’m here and able t’ supply ya with some good information ~ Tonight, we’ll discuss some pretty neat parental figures. Protection, life lessons, and much more can be given from these folks. If they seem rough on ya, they love ya. If they love ya, then count yerself lucky. Ain’t like half the city isn’t filled with parentless kids..”
“... I never knew my parents, y’know..?”
“Today’s show is brought t’ ya by...”
“Prince Edward’s Amazin’ Smile. When yer feelin’ down, know that he’s ‘round... A happy endin’ must be comin’ yer way when that smile brightens the day.
Prince Edward’s Amazin’ Smile...”
“Now normally, lil’ Blue would be here fer the advertisements, but my lil’ bunny ain’t here today. Got caught up in her business, but we’ll still send her plenty o’ love along the way. Now let’s begin shall we~?
“We’ll start with quite a famous head, Good ol’ Ozpin. Professor and headmaster of the Beacon Academy, he is a man responsible for the development of fantastic students that will become protectors, or Huntsmen/tresses. Sure, he sends these kids out on some hell of dangerous missions right at the get-go. Tough love can push people so far, and he’ll give ya that.”
“A protective and a lady that’ll sacrifice herself for others, can’t ask for much more of a kind spirit with that. Tough as they come, yet soft for her friends. Aqua is a nice motherly figure that will continue to fight despite whatever odds are against her. Being under her wings is somethin’ heaven-sent I would think.”
“Well ... He’s Batman. Doesn’t kill, will punch the daylights outta ya, and may take ya in if yer an orphan. He’s known fer takin’ in a couple o’ bright young bucks lookin’ t’ change the world around them. Several different Robins, a bat-girl, an’- ... Well, he also shows plenty of love fer his kids after somethin’ terrible goes an’ happens t’ them. Great fatherly figure, terrible luck at keepin’ his kids safe. Tears tell plenty, nee?”
“I’m pro’lly gonna have to hide out at nights...”
“Goddess o’ war, badass as they come, and devoted to her family. Bishamon is a woman as deadly as she is pretty, and I’ll say fer sure that I wouldn’t dare mess with her family. A woman that knows how to use tough love but to also be so caring and devoted to protecting her loved ones... It’s quite a spectacle. Hundreds, and she’ll give her life for each of them. Kinda hard to look away from that kinda love. Also kinda hard to believe her luck is about as good as Batty. But hey, third time’s the charm, right?”
“Christmas came early, an’ we’ve yet t’ hit the Halloween jokes. Good ol’ Santa here is one hell o’ a Daddy. A man who gives gifts to all the children while havin’ the heart t’ cut off the heads that threaten those very kids. Actually, I ain’t too sure if he is that violent. Ain’t gonna find out. Eyes o’ wonder, a heart of gold, a belly o’ laughs that knows. .... He always gives me coal, an’ I only hope this moves me up on the nice list. Ain’t gonna lie.”
“Ooooh boy. If I don’t do this’un right, I’ll have a gem war at my foot steps. Momma Rose here that holds love for her family and gems. Sure, she was a little confused about what love really was, but she learned about it pretty easily given some time. No doubt her love was passed on to her boy, and that very love is also felt between her gemmates. Is that right t’ say? Kinda like a teammates, only... Eeeh.”
“Wanna know what it is like to have that one dad that has been through hell and back? War is hell, and no one knows like this guy. Seein’ how I ain’t too sure if I’m s’pose ta say his real name, and I don’t need t’ be in his sights, we’ll stick with Soldier 76. Just Amazin’ My Encyclopediaers... Pretty much describes this guy on the field. Plenty of life lessons, will protect his comrades and loved ones without a second notice...and if that rifle is pointed to yer head, ya better not count on gettin’ out alive. Aimbots are more o’ a pain than even I can be ~”
“Wanna good mother figure in yer life? He can cook, he can clean, he’ll make sure everythin’ is ready fer ya, annnnnnd his puppy love is just flat out adorable t’ watch. Though, I ain’t too sure if that’s gonna do with the list, this guy is quite the character. Odd t’ say he can fit both roles as a mommy an’ daddy. Good heart, will protect and help someone at any price Ya really do want ‘im in yer life ~”
“Well that’s that. Quite a long list here which should make up fer lost time. Given that I need t’ find a new director that won’t hang me from ceilin’s or scare me t’ death, I’ll try my best ta provide you with a list when I can. So until then ~ See ya next time. Bai-byeee ~”
