Mar 23, 2023
Don’t we all just love these girls?!
seen from Philippines
seen from South Korea
seen from Thailand
seen from China
seen from Switzerland
seen from China
seen from Switzerland
seen from Mexico
seen from India
seen from China
seen from Russia
seen from Switzerland
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from Türkiye
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from Philippines
Don’t we all just love these girls?!
Was catching up on s17 and SOMEbody wanted to join
In The Future -- A Roger Taylor x Reader Fic [part 4]
Read the Past Parts Here! Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Word Count: 4k
Trigger Warning: Alcohol, Talks of Sexual Assault, Anxiety Attack
Did I sleep with her?
Roger paced the floor of his flat.
He didn’t think it was out of the question. You were gorgeous, and he could see his drunk self hitting on you.
Roger has forgotten girls he’s slept with before, leading to some awkward and uncomfortable conversations once meeting them again. This event occurred a year ago, you had told him, it’s a clear possibility that your image may be stuck in the subconscious of his brain.
The problem is, he’s never had to work alongside a past hook-up.
What am I going to do?
He cursed himself for whatever his past self did to you. From the short amount of time you’ve spent together, he has thought you were a great person despite the cold shoulder you gave him at first. The way you attempted to open up to him was a breath of fresh air, people don’t usually trust him with matters that cause them to feel vulnerable.
Roger wanted to find a friend in you, and he became insanely upset with himself that he may have ruined that chance without even realizing it.
I’m not going to let the fact that we slept together get in the way of a friendship.
--
The day of the weekend gig comes much faster than you could have intended. You spent another day with the band between the recording session and now. Getting the chance to talk to Roger was on your mind, it wasn’t fair that you left him just to guess what you had to say, but getting him alone without alerting everyone was something near impossible.
You weren’t excited about the show. Ever since that night a year ago, you had avoided large crowds in small spaces as much as possible. Just the thought of being surrounded by that many people, the possibility of another attacker being there with you, begins to be too much. You hoped you could just hang in the back and not have to experience things similar to that night, you feared that might be too much for you.
You also pondered the idea of not telling Roger, which is not out of the question. Still feeling helpless about what happened to you, and awful about the way you left the person who saved you, you feel as if maybe it’s easier to not face it.
Going between this possibility and just telling him the truth cross your mind at every hour of the day making your head spin at insane speeds. No matter how many times you think it over, you can’t decide what option causes the least amount of pain for you, and Roger.
When you met with the boys yesterday, they again asked you if you were coming to the gig. You continued to assure them that you wouldn’t miss it, but they still seemed skeptical given that your original answer was a sidestep towards no. You knew you’d end up going, not wanting to miss a chance to support the band you now represent, but everyone else wasn’t so sure. Even Miami asked you, he must have gotten the word passed along from the boys.
As the hours drew closer, your anxiety rose. Not knowing what else to do, you called Gracie. She picked up the line on the third ring.
“Hey, favorite person in the world,”
You let out a nervous laugh. Leave it to Gracie to be a ray of sunshine when your thoughts seemed bleak.
“What’s wrong?”
She could always pick up when you weren’t feeling well, even when you’re miles away.
“I have to go to a concert tonight,” you told, hoping that simple explanation would be enough to convey how you’re feeling.
Gracie sighed. “Oh hun, is it for the band?”
“Yeah,” you sputtered. “And it’s at a small pub, and do you want to know what’s worse of all,”
“What?”
“The band I represent is the same band we saw last summer,”
The line hung in the air for a while, and you wonder if the connection had dropped. Only after a few, long seconds, Gracie answered.
“I thought this band was called Queen,”
“They are, they switched their name, I didn’t recognize it,”
She started at a string of questions that almost came too fast for you to recognize. “Is he still the drummer? Did he remember you? Are you still wanting to work for them? How are you feeling about it? How bad is your anxiety right now?”
You internalized each question, prepared to answer all.
“Yes he’s still there, no he didn’t recognize me, yes I still want this job, and I’ll be honest, I’m not doing great,”
You could hear Gracie struggling for words, not knowing what to say to you. Would anyone know exactly what to say?
“Darling, I’m so sorry, but maybe this will be a positive experience. Maybe you’ll go and have a good time and all those memories will start to wash away. And remember, you can leave, no one's holding you there,”
You nodded, even though you knew she couldn’t see it.
“Have I ever told you, you’re the best?”
“Once or twice,” you could almost hear the smile from across the line.
Suddenly, you heard a car horn from outside your flat. At first, you ignore it, assuming it’s not for you, but when it goes off another time, this time with two beeps, you thought you should check it out.
“Hey, uh, Gracie, there’s a car horn outside and I think I should go see who it is,” you told her hesitantly.
“Be careful, I love you,”
Hanging up the phone, you moved to your front window to check the car.
Not expecting to see anyone you know, you are met with the sight of a man you wouldn’t mistake in any situation.
Slipping on some sandals, you opened the door to your flat.
“Freddie?” you yell at the man sitting in the car with his window down.
“Y/n, darling! I’ve come to pick you up!”
Walking out towards the car, you were still wondering why Freddie Mercury is sitting outside your home.
“But why?” you asked, still not quite understanding.
He grinned. “It’s not that I don’t have fate in you, love, but I wasn’t sure if you’d come if I didn’t drag you out myself,”
Laughing in disbelief, you arrived at the side of his car.
“Well, I don’t have all day! Go, get dressed, it’s a big night for you,”
“And why is that?”
He slid off the sunglasses he was wearing. “Why, dear. It’s your first gig night as our official assistant to the manager, of course!”
You couldn’t help but laugh at his theatrics, he must really want you to come.
“Alright, give me five minutes,” you said, turning back towards your flat.
“No more, no less,” he yelled after you.
Following the rapid events that took place in your bedroom to produce the look you’re sporting now, you checked the time to make sure you didn’t take long. As you hustled down the stairs of your flat, you are not surprised to see Freddie still sitting there taking a drag of his cigarette.
“Darling, you are truly a vision,” he gushed as he caught sight of the dress you threw on.
“Why, thank you,” you replied, getting into his car with him.
The drive with Freddie is filled with him talking, to which you are thankful, he took the pressure off of you. It was a stark contrast to the other drives you’ve had over the past few days.
“Aren’t you excited?” he asked.
For the first time in a while when thinking about a concert, your answer is overwhelmingly positive. “I actually am. I’m not going to lie to you, you picking me up has made a lot of my nerves disappear for a while,”
Freddie looked over to you and smirked. “I have that effect on people,”
You scoffed, a laugh pulling at your throat. “You’re ruining the moment,”
“People have told me that I tend to do that as well,”
This left both of you laughing, but the laughs didn’t last as long as you hoped. Freddie’s demeanor shifted slightly as he thought through his next words.
“I can’t help but notice, and I don’t mean to pry, but is everything alright between you and Roger? You seem so comfortable around the rest of us, but there seems to be tension with you two,”
He left off, leaving you room to answer how you’d like. You appreciated this, not feeling like the rest of the boys need to be involved in whatever’s happening between the two of you.
“It’s nothing really. I guess our personalities just don’t mesh well,”
“That’s interesting to me,” he started. “When I first met you I thought the two of you would get along great. I could tell you’re reserved, and he is anything but. Those two things usually compliment each other well,”
You sighed. “Yeah, guess not this time,”
Thankfully, Freddie pulled into the pub parking lot as you finished your statement. He parked the car and took the opportunity to grab your hands, placing them in his own.
“I’d like to let you know I don’t believe you,” he smirked. “But just know this, if there’s ever anything you’d like to talk about, anything at all, my ears are always open. Whatever you say is safe with me. I think you’re a great person, y/n. And I hate to see you struggling, and I can tell, you’re struggling with something,”
The comments take you aback. No one, other than Gracie, has ever said something close to this too you. He may never know this, but what Freddie was doing was something that meant the universe. You felt as if you could trust Freddie, and you’re glad someone like him had walked into your life.
“Has anyone told you you’re pretty great, Freddie?”
“And yet, another thing people tell me a lot,”
As the two of you exited the car, he slung an arm over your shoulder. The two of you walked into the pub like that.
You don’t know what you expected upon entering, maybe a nauseous feeling, maybe your fight or flight response kicking in, but neither of those things happened. You felt, normal. You felt content, and that feeling is better than everything you were anticipating.
Following Freddie, he takes you back to the makeshift dressing room the pub had created for them. In reality, it’s a small side room attached to a hallway with a single bathroom. The hallway led to the stage. The set up was modest but quaint and cute.
“Boys, the real queen has arrived,” Freddie announced as he led you into the dressing room. Brian’s head perked up at the noise, and his mouth turned to a smile.
“Y/n, I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, jumping up and engulfing you in a hug. A second hug from Deaky soon followed. As you let go from John, you see Roger had also gotten up to greet you. Not knowing how he planned this to go, you let him take the steps toward you before giving you a hug as well. It was short, but it was a gesture. A gesture that said he was done acting odd towards you.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” he spoke as he pulled away from your embrace.
“It would have been hard not to when Mr. Mercury pulled up and wouldn’t leave until I got in the car,” you giggled.
“What can I say, she couldn’t miss this,”
The boys returned to their pre-show prep, and you did your best to stay out of the way. As show time approached, you checked the floor of the pub, which was quickly filling up. Your anxiety started to creep in again as men, and women, started to fill the front of the room near the stage. You returned to the hallway, doing your best to keep the ‘worst case scenarios’ out of your head.
“Glad you could make it,” Miami called, joining you in the hallway.
You attempted to swallow the thoughts buzzing in your head. “Wouldn’t miss it,”
Miami went on to explain how a gig works. The band would go out and you both would stay back to make sure everything got off the ground smoothly. As soon as the first song goes off without a hitch, the two of us are free to enjoy the rest of the show from the floor.
Hey sweetheart, can’t find your friend?
The boys went out and introduced themselves to the crowd. As the first song began, you could help but hope there were problems with the set. You didn’t want to see them fail, but you also didn’t want to go out there.
A smile from Freddie in the direction of you and Jim was the all clear, everything went perfectly. The cruel truth of what you were about to face became a reality. You pondered making an excuse and asking to stay off stage instead of joining the crowd, but a chance was forced upon you that you could never provide for yourself. You never thought you’d take yourself to a crowded concert ever again, but this situation was not a choice.
You decided you were done living in the past.
Following Miami, he led both of you to the dimly lit bar, the music still in full volume from upon the stage.
Always the best boss, Miami ordered a drink for you and himself. You hadn’t wanted to drink tonight, in fear of too many factors lining up with certain memories, but you figure having one to slightly loosen up your anxieties wouldn’t be the worst thing for you.
Sipping on the drink you got the chance to enjoy the boys’ music again, but this time in front of someone who wasn’t Jim or yourself.
The set progressed without a hitch and they had the audience completely encapsulated. Since the first night you saw them perform, you had a feeling they were going to be amazing someday, and now you get to watch from within it all.
Anxiety was one of the last things on your mind, and as you looked over the crowd of people that loved the music as much as you did, you had the urge to join them. You wanted nothing more but to push your way through everyone and stand in the front, enjoying the music that you spent every day listening to and loving.
The small bit of alcohol in you is enough to push away any anxious feeling that may be conjuring within your head.
You started to stand up from the bar stool and Miami give you a puzzling look.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“To the front,” you grinned.
He laughed a bit and shook his head. “The boys told me you hated crowds,”
“I do, but not at the moment,” you gave him a reassuring nod and started your way towards the stage
To distract yourself from the disappearing personal space around you, you kept your eyes on Freddie, keeping yourself grounded and in the moment. Your ability to sneak past people still being a strength of yours as you find yourself in the near front, very close to the band.
Your eyes still on Freddie, he scans the crowd and finds you. A flashing moment of surprise crosses his face as he sees you among the rest of the people who are lost in the music as you are. He dazzles you with a smile and shoots you a wink as his showmanship boosts up levels upon seeing you enjoying the show, as if your image gave him a shot of adrenaline.
The current song comes to a close and the crowd around you roars.
The boys have really got something here.
“I love you all,” Freddie screams into the mic. He allowed the crowd to cheer again before calming himself down and addressing the people in a calmer matter. “I’m speaking for the boys and me when I say that tonight is very special, not only are we announcing our American tour, but we are also joined by some amazing people who have just become part of the Queen family,”
The crowd erupted again, assuming Freddie is addressing them when speaking of the Queen family, but you know in your heart that he’s talking about you. He found you in the crowd once again and blew you a kiss. Your heart swells at the simple gesture. You find yourself elated with happiness, for the first time in a long time you feel part of a family.
“We have two more songs for you, thank you so much again for joining us tonight!” Freddie yelled to the crowd and on cue, Brian started a riff on his guitar beginning the song of Killer Queen.
The crowd moved along to the rhythm, mirroring Freddie’s movements on stage. This song was your favorite off the new album, and you found yourself lost in the lyrics as you went from member to member, watching them all get lost as well.
The music fills you from your toes up to the top of your head, it sets something off from deep inside of you, a feeling you’ve been missing from avoiding concerts. The vocals move through your ears to your heart as it pounds a similar rhythm, matching the song. Every muscle in your body is buzzing as you reach some sort of a high from the music. The bass can be felt in your chest as Deaky’s playing reaches a new part of your soul, making it feel as if it’s been lifted from your body.
With the ending of the song, the boys transition seamlessly into the finale: Keep Yourself Alive. You scan the face of the boys you’ve so quickly gotten close with, going from one to the next.
From Freddie, to Brian, to Deaky, to Roger.
To Roger.
To Rog.
Back to the night a year ago.
In your head, the music stops. For a few moments, the room is quiet and everyone halts. Looking around, you feel as if everyone in the crowd has their eyes on you, but their eyes make you uneasy, as if they have danger laced behind every glare.
The room starts to close in, their faces becoming the one of your attacker.
Thoughts, memories, words flood your head as the protective dam you had built to keep you from your own mind comes crashing down around you.
Hey sweetheart, can’t find your friend?
Why is this happening?
Don’t struggle, Princess.
I thought I was better.
You’re going to enjoy this.
I thought I was past this.
I bet no one’s touched you like this before.
No.
Please.
MAKE IT STOP!
Returning to the moment, your heart felt as if it was in your stomach and your legs wobbled so much you feared they would give out any second.
Your eyes look up and Freddie is looking at you.
“All you people, keep yourself alive!” he sung, seeming to deliver those lyrics directly to you, his face plastered with worry as he saw your pale face and shallow breathing.
I have to get out.
I have to get out.
Get out.
Get out!
You pushed with everything in your body to reach the backstage area. There was one member of security standing in your way. He attempted to stop you from reaching the hallway leading to the dressing room, but as he recognized your face and observed your panicked demeanor, he let you pass.
The dressing room is your intended destination, but you quickly realize you don’t want the boys seeing you like this. Throwing open the door to the small bathroom, you ducked inside, locking the door behind you. You collapsed on the ground and did your very best to focus on the cold tile beneath your fingertips.
Your shallow, dense breathing is the main thing you hear, but you can also recognize the sound of footsteps as they neared where you were hiding.
“That show was amazing!” You heard Roger yell to which Deaky and Brian backed him up.
Freddie spoke next. “Yeah, brilliant lads,” His voice was dejected, distracted. “I have someone I need to speak with quickly, I’ll catch you boys in the dressing room in a few,” he explained. No one protested, but it was as if you could hear the confused reactions to Freddie’s excuse.
Many people entered the dressing room across the hall, but one pair of feet stayed back. A few moments passed before a quiet knock could be heard on the door. You didn’t respond. The knock came again, but you still said nothing. No one needs to see you like this.
“Y/n? Darling are you in there?”
You didn’t respond.
The doorknob jiggled.
“Y/n? I know it’s you, love. Everyone is accounted for out here except for you,” he prodded.
You’ve been found, there was nothing you could do now. Freddie was going to come into the bathroom whether you fancied it or not.
“Y/n--”
You cut him off by unlocking the door.
In an instant, the door swung open and Freddie met the sight of you balled up on the floor. His face dropped. Freddie closed the door and locked it behind him. Crouching down to your level, he wrapped his arms around you, neither of you said anything.
The weight of his arms caused the room to expand back to its normal parameters and your chest to loosen up slightly. Minutes passed before either Freddie, or you, say anything.
He shifted his weight and joined you sitting, his arms not leaving their tight hug on you. “Darling, what happened? You looked like you were having the time of your life, then just like that, you were not,”
“It’s nothing, Fred, just a little anxiety over the crowd,”
He exhaled into your hair. “I don’t want to overstep, love, but this seems like a little more than just some anxiety,”
His comment made you laugh, it was an empty one. “I don’t think I want to talk about it,”
“I know it’s hard, whatever has got you feeling like this, but you have so many people here for you, including me. Whatever you tell me, it stays between us,”
You need to tell someone. You need to tell--
“I was at a concert a while ago, and I lost my friend in the crowd while I was very drunk, and this man offered to help me find her. Before I knew it he… he…” your sobs took over.
“Shh,” Freddie confronted. “It’s okay, I’m here,”
Taking a deep breath, you continued. “He grabbed me, picking me up. The crowd was so thick, I had nowhere to run. He took me into an alleyway and sta-started touching me--”
“Oh darling,” Freddie cut you off, not needing to hear more to understand what had you in this state. “Love, I am so sorry,”
His grip tightened on you as he allowed you to sob into his chest. “The boys and I would never, ever, let something like that happen to you again,”
Freddie didn’t know how true that statement was.
You decided not to share more details about the night, specifically about the fact that it was at their concert. And the fact that Roger was the one who found you. This was for another time, you already felt like too much of a burden as it was.
After more minutes passed, Freddie spoke again. “C’mon love, let’s get you home, I’ll drive you,”
You conceded your position and let him help you get to your feet. Freddie peaked his head out the door and assured no one was in the hallway before the two of you entered. The weight of your body fell into his side as you relied on him for the strength to walk. You were nearly at the back exit before footsteps entered in the hallway behind you.
“Y/n?” a familiar voice called.
You didn’t turn, but Freddie did. “Roger, this is not the time,” he spoke, calmly.
He neared the two of you. “Why not, what’s wrong?”
With that question, you turned around, your eyes meeting the striking blue ones of the drummer.
Roger’s face noticeably fell at the sight of your pale face and tired eyes. “Y/n..?”
“Please,” was all you managed.
He didn’t move, but Freddie did, pushing open the door and guiding you out to his car.
And with that, my fic has reached 12k+ words. That’s so exciting!
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-waves- hello! I was the anon who had to visit her prof instead of have lunch with her qpp ^^ We actually did get to hang out today for a few hours at the local cafe! It’s our favorite spot to go with friends, and I was stress-baking today so I brought chocolate chip cookies to share. They had their hair braided into two little pigtail braids and it was sooo cute ahhh I rebraided them an hour in and they were so adorable. I got to hug them a lot which was v v nice with finals coming up, I’m such a sucker for physical affection. I’m babbling at this point, but they just got into an ldr with someone, so I’m kinda adjusting to that, emotionally, but as long as they’re happy and safe, I’m happy for them. I just love them so so much and I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, if that makes sense. I wish I was able to spend more time with them (my family doesn’t really understand the concept of a qpp so we can’t be together much or be physically affectionate when my fam is around), but I’m super grateful for the hours that we get together. They make me feel so safe and loved and I hope they feel the same way with me <3
oh my god this is so cute thank you for sharing
In The Future -- A Roger Taylor x Reader Fic [part 3]
Read the Past Parts Here! Part 1 Part 2
Here’s the next part for you amazing people.
I hope you all are enjoying it !!
A few days go by and you do most of your internship work from within the walls of your flat. Nothing exciting, just revising statements getting sent out to venues, reviewing album art, and making calls to ensure tour dates are booked in advance. You loved it though, you felt as if you were apart of something.
You haven’t seen Roger since the day in the recording studio, and for that you’re glad. It has given you space to revisit the past events.
Yes, the trauma still haunts you to this day, and, yes, Roger still reminds you too much of that night, but you decide that these facts cannot get in the way of your work. Just because he’s around doesn’t mean that you have the right to pretend he’s not. You have to try to move past it and see him as a coworker.
In the Future - A Roger Taylor x Reader Fic [part 5]
Read the Past Parts Here! Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Word Count: 3k
Warnings: None
After Freddie dropped you off at your flat, he returned to the pub in order not to scare the rest of the boys with your sudden departure. You knew you couldn’t stay at the pub any longer, and your glad Freddie seemed to agree.
Freddie found himself upset with his own intentions. When you had expressed that you weren’t comfortable with crowds and more specifically concerts, he had no idea the anxiety was so deep-rooted in a trauma that was anything but your fault. If would have known, he would have never picked you up, he would have never forced you there. No one deserves to be thrown into that situation unwillingly.
Entering back through the rear entrance to avoid the audience in the pub, he slipped into the dressing room hoping questions of the situation would be minimal. Brian and Deaky sat in a chair, both of their heads laid back and eyes closed in an attempt to relax after the massive adrenaline rush of performing. The noise of the door, though, caused both of their heads to perk up.
“Freddie, where have you been? Roger said you and y/n left quickly and that y/n didn’t look well,” Brain asked, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Deaky mirrored the same look.
Freddie shook his head. “It’s not my place to tell, but I will say that will be the last time I, or any one of us, pressure her into coming to a pub gig,”
“Why? What happened? When I saw her in the crowd she looked like she was having the time of her life,” a confused Deaky questioned. Freddie’s memory went back to the last few songs. You did look like you were having a great time, but he also watched as the pure joy on your face fell to complete, and utter, panic.
“The crowd caused her to have a terrible panic attack,” Freddie paused. “But again, the reason is not mine to tell,”
Brian and Deaky both nodded their heads, not pressing the issue. Both of them felt similar to Freddie, guilty, almost, that they pressed the matter of if you were coming. They, no doubt, wanted your support at your shows, but if the crowds affected you this much, they would feel awful dragging you along.
As the three boys contemplated your situation, each with varying levels of information on the situation, Roger entered the dressing room. The vibe of the room is quickly apparent to him as he realized Freddie was back.
“Fred, you’re back,” Roger started, his breath shallowing as he recalled the expression on your face as the two of you left. It left his heart in his stomach. You two might not have gotten along so far, but the tiredness in your eyes and the tear stains down your cheeks were enough for him to worry. He cared, even if he thought you didn’t. “Is y/n okay?”
Fred realized that Roger didn’t ask what happened, or why you two left so quickly. He wanted to know about your well-being.
“She’s okay, I dropped her off at her flat and made sure she got into bed. She just needs some space, that’s all,”
“It was the crowds, wasn’t it?”
Freddie knew that answer wasn’t the real reason your anxiety spiked, but he nodded anyway. “Yeah, it got to her in the last song, I watched it happen,”
Now, instead of three boys in complete quiet, not knowing what to say next, anyone entering the room would have found four.
Fred, knowing that the boys couldn’t dwell on this any longer due to them not being able to do anything more about it tonight, was the first to speak among the band.
“Well, I know this is hard on all of us,” he started, pausing to test the waters of the silence. “I think we owe it to the audience to go out there, they’re probably waiting for us,”
Deaky and Brian nodded, but Roger was still found standing near the door, his eyes trained on his feet. He couldn’t help but wonder if the events that occurred had something to do with the thing you had wanted to tell him. He felt as if he was responsible, for some reason unknown by him, for your anxiety from concerts. If he caused you to feel this way, he needed to find out how to make it right.
Roger only had one thing in his mind, he needed to go and talk to you.
“Roger?” Brain asked, noticing his friend trapped inside his own head.
Roger snapped himself out of his thinking. His eyes met Brian’s and immediately Brian realized that Roger was extremely troubled by what happened. “She’s going to be just fine, Rog. Freddie even said it himself, we can all go see her tomorrow and check in,” he offered.
Shaking his head, Roger had already decided what his next move was going to be.
“I’m going to go visit her,”
“Rog, you don’t even know where her flat is,” Freddie observed, trying to talk his friend off the edge. From your reaction to Roger attempting to stop you two from leaving, Freddie figured you wouldn’t want to talk to him, or talk to anyone for that matter.
“What’s the address?”
“Roger, I’m advising you against this,” Freddie cautioned.
“Freddie, please, if she doesn’t want to talk, she doesn’t have to answer the door. Just let me try,”
Conceding, Freddie scribbled the address down on the back of the setlist from tonight and handed it to Roger. It took Roger under a second to evaluate where that address was bringing him before leaving the room and exiting the pub through the rear and jogging out to his car.
Thankfully no one in the lot noticed him leaving and was able to back out of the pub without being stopped.
To say Roger drove slightly over the speed limit would have been an exaggeration. Pushing twenty over through town, he prayed no law enforcement were out on speed watch. He arrived at your flat five minutes sooner than someone who followed traffic laws would have. He needed to know what you wanted to tell him, he needed to know if he was the reason you can’t enjoy concerts like everybody else.
He strode up to the front door of your flat and knocked on the door.
You heard the knock from within your bedroom walls. Freddie had left your flat forty minutes prior and you were most definitely not expecting anyone else. You had attempted to sleep in that time, but with the way your head was still spinning, closing your eyes had become a difficult task.
The knock sounded again, and at this point, you figured whoever was on the other side of the door must have the wrong address, it’s one in the morning for god’s sake. Slowly lifting yourself out of bed, you drifted through your flat feeling like what you were experiencing was more of a dream than anything. You looked through your peephole expecting not to know the person outside your flat, but instead, you see blonde hair you recognize too well.
Roger was about to knock one last time before leaving but stops when he hears the lock on the door start to move. Slowly the door between him and you opens and reveals an exhausted-looking you with a blanket wraps around your shoulders. The sight of you like this causes Roger’s heart to break. He cares so much about people, he hates to see them so broken, especially when he may be a cause of the hurt.
“Y/n…” was all Roger could manage.
You sighed. He looked concerned, but you didn’t know if you had the energy of convincing someone you’re alright tonight.
“Roger, I don’t feel up to having company tonight,” you told him, wanting nothing more than to be alone.
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I saw you were pretty shaken up and I wanted to come to see if there was anything I can do,” he stammered. The words hung there while you hoped he would leave. He was one of the last people you wanted to pour your heart out tonight.
“And I guess,” he continued. “I couldn’t help but think about what you wanted to tell me the other day and I wanted to make sure that I, specifically, couldn’t do anything for you,” As the words tumbled from his mouth, you shivered from the bitter night air that the open door allowed into your flat. Roger noticed you shaking. “Y/n, can I come in? You’re freezing,”
Reluctantly, you nodded, stepping back and allowing Roger to enter. He observed the small parameters of your flat and noted the lack of space.
“Do you live here alone?” he asked to which you nodded.
The two of you stood awkwardly in the doorway, neither of you knowing what to do next and both of you considering your next words.
“Roger... “ you started. His eyes went directly to yours, showing whatever you said next he was going to be listening intently. “I don’t know if I still want to tell you what I was going to the other day,” you answered honestly, deciding you at least owe him that. You didn’t realize this until now, but the moment between you two at the recording studio had been on his mind.
“Why not?” he asked, no trace of anger lining his voice.
“Because Roger, I don’t think it’s something you need to know, I was in the moment and at that time, I thought it was best to share, but now I’m not so sure,”
His eyes dropped as he pondered what you had just said to him. He asked a similar question. “Why did you want to then, but not now?”
“Because of tonight,”
Those simple words were enough to confirm that what you wanted to share with him at the studio and the events that transpired tonight were connected, Roger’s face dropped.
“I did something, didn’t I? I’m the reason you hate concerts,” he speculated.
The idea came out of left field for you, and you didn’t know how he landed on this train of thought. While he was a trigger of anxiety that brings you back to that night, he most definitely wasn’t the reason.
In fact, you’re the reason my memories weren’t worse.
“Roger, no,” you attempted to convince him, but your words were shaky. “Where did that come from?”
“I don’t know, I guess when you told me something more happened the night you saw us play I assumed that something bad happened between us. Everything lined up too well for me to ignore it,”
The conversation you did your best to ignore was happening, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.
You looked at the sofa in your living room and decided that you couldn’t stand in the doorway any longer. You moved the short distance between you and the couch and plopped down. Roger decided against the couch and chose an armchair across from you.
“Am I right?” he asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.
“Yes,”
“Y/n, I’m so sorry I don’t remember. I feel awful that I forget what happened that night,” he started to apologize. Maybe he does remember the awful thing that happened.
“Roger it’s okay, I promise,” you’re acceptance of his apology didn’t seem to take him down from the stressed level you saw him at.
“No it’s not, obviously I did something bad. Did I take advantage of you?”
A confused look came across your face. The event he was talking about didn’t line up with what happened. Roger took notice to your confusion and continued.
“We slept together, didn’t we?”
Suddenly everything he had said made sense. He doesn’t remember what happened and assumed that you two went home together the night you saw them at the pub.
“Roger, no,” you assured. “We didn’t hook up,”
Now it was his turn to be confused.
“Wait, we didn’t?”
“No,” you told him. “That’s not what happened,”
Roger leaned his elbows on his thighs, making himself closer to you. “Then what happened, help me understand,”
You took a deep breath. There was definitely no stopping this conversation now.
“Roger I don’t know if I can talk about this,”
He took his hand and bridged the gap between the two of you, placing his hand in yours. “I’m here for you, y/n. Whatever you need to say, I’ll be here,”
His striking blue eyes were locked to your own and one side of his shaggy blonde hair was tucked behind his ear. You had never gotten a good look at Roger. With everything you had, you avoided it. But in this moment, you were able to look at him and have no outside thoughts pry in your head. You were able to just look at him.
“So the night I saw you guys, it was very similar to tonight. I pushed my way to the front to get closer to you guys. I had the time of my life dancing and singing along to lyrics I didn’t know. But when the set ended, and I turned around, I couldn’t find my best friend who I thought was behind me,” you paused, settling your breath. “A man said he could help me find her, but he grabbed me instead. I had nowhere to turn, the crowd was too thick. He picked me up and carried me outside while I struggled against him. He threw me up against the wall in the alleyway. He started… touching me, assaulting me. He… he…”
“I saved you from that man,” Roger spoke, his eyes turning towards the floor. “You’re the girl I took home from the alley,”
Rogers face, for the first time since the beginning of the conversation, turned to one of recollection. You recognized this face, he was remembering all the events from that night. His eyes quickly turned up to find yours.
“I am so sorry,”
The words sat there, neither of you daring to say more. Your hands still in his as he rubbed small circles on them with his thumbs. A tear fell from your eyes, the stress of remembering the event yet again getting to you. When Roger sees you crying, he stands up and joins you on the couch, wrapping his arms around you.
“I’m sorry, Roger,”
He exhaled out of his nose quickly. “Love, why on Earth are you sorry?”
“Because I’ve been awful to you when all you’ve done is help me,” you lay your head on his shoulder, craving affection as your mind spirals. “When I look at you, all I can see is that night. I don’t hate you, it’s just you are a part of that memory as much as that awful man is,”
Roger hugs you tighter. “Y/n, darling, it’s okay. I understand now. This doesn’t change anything, I’m still here for you,” He rocks you slightly in an attempt to settle down your silent sobs that you’ve been holding in for so long.
The two of you stay there for a long while, his arms wrapped around you and your head laid in his shoulder. The feeling of him there centered you, helped you feel safe. Safety isn’t a feeling you’ve experienced in a long time. The way he smelled brought you back to the scent of his old t-shirt, the confused and terrifying morning you had not waking up at your flat but instead of the flat of the man who saved you.
When your breathing evened, Roger was the first to speak.
“Y/n, I think you should get some sleep,” he whispered.
You nodded, knowing that he was right. A good night's sleep is the best thing for you right now.
“You’re right,” you said, starting to get up from the sofa. “But I have something for you,”
You walked into your bedroom and returned with an oversized t-shirt that has been a burden for a year and placed it in Roger’s lap. He recognized the shirt immediately.
“I know I wrote you may never get this back, but fate must want it back in your possession,” you did your best attempt to smile, hoping to lighten up the situation. Roger smiled as well.
“I’m glad, you can’t even imagine the sentimental attachment I have to this,” he joked, causing you to laugh slightly as well. “You did leave me a bag of ice though, which was much appreciated, I had that black eye for weeks,”
“I’m so sorry about that, by the way,”
“Please don’t be, I got the better of him anyway,” he smirked at you.
You laughed again. He might not know it, but he’s helping you replace horrific memories with good ones. This will help, you know it will.
“Thanks, Roger, for visiting tonight,”
He stood up and gave you another hug. “I’m here for you, I’ll tell you that as many times as you need to hear it,”
“I’m going to bed, do you want me to walk you to your car?” you asked, not quite wanting his comforting presence to leave just yet.
“Do you want me to stay here tonight?”
“Roger, I can’t ask--”
“I want to, I’ll sleep on the couch. Then, if anything is bothering you, just come find me,” he offered. You nodded, accepting his idea. You silently thanked him, but no words came out when you attempted to verbalize your thoughts.
“Goodnight, Roger,” you said, breaking the hug and starting towards your bedroom.
“Goodnight, Y/n,”
You gave him one more smile before entering your room.
Normally, you close the door behind you, but tonight you left just a small crack between you and Roger.
A burden has been lifted off my chest, the moment has happened.
Don’t let this comfort you for too long though, let’s all remember Roger isn’t perfect.
I do hope you all enjoyed, and please let me now with a comment, message, or ask if you’d like to be tagged in upcoming chapters:)
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No worries op we will spread your post. It's too late, it's in motion
I’ve noticed! Over the last two days the notes on that post have exploded and I think it about to hit 10k hahaha
Gotta thank everyone for their determination and general hatred for parasitic monarchs!!