Oct 29, 2020
My soul is breathing. Fresh air for the first time in a century. The scars are still there. They ache sometimes. But the breeze of new days softens them.
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from Serbia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Canada
seen from Japan
seen from Australia
seen from Türkiye
seen from Romania
seen from United States
seen from Singapore
seen from Türkiye
seen from Canada
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Singapore
seen from United Kingdom
seen from India
My soul is breathing. Fresh air for the first time in a century. The scars are still there. They ache sometimes. But the breeze of new days softens them.
I can’t believe it. My best friend died today. Cats mean more to me than most people do, and Archer especially. I loved him with all my heart. And now a piece of my heart is gone. I will miss you forever Archer.
So my mom usually will shut me down in any way she can when I have something to complain about. Usually it involves her complaining about me. This particular instance was remarkable though. We were having an argument about something I felt strongly about and “You’re at a dramatic age” was all she said. First, that’s not something you would usually say about my age group. Second, I’m usually not a very dramatic person. And third, you can’t just shut down my argument by invalidating it with your own set of rules. It was something I felt strongly about so of course I put emotion into what I was saying. Sorry I just needed to vent about this a little.
Whatever. First entry.
Today I remembered a time when I was in Hawaii with my parents. Most of my memories of Hawaii are good which is why this one stood out. We were arguing as usual although the subject of the argument slips my mind. My dad was furious for some reason and we were yelling at each other in a rage. I knew I was about to cry so I tried to escape into the bathroom since they wouldn’t let me out at that time of night. Instead I became cornered and I was desperate to be alone so I raised my voice further towards my mom. She started trying to strangle me as the yelling continued. Once I got her hands off my neck I used as much strength as I could to force her out of the bathroom. I finally locked it and was safe for the time being aside from the incessant screaming from my dad on the other side. He banged on the door and threatened to break it. I don’t remember what happened afterwards I just remember hours of sobbing silently in the bathroom with yelling drowning out all other noise. I was too terrified to open the door for the rest of the night.