I made a post about this last year and the year before, and thought if I did it this way it gives people and orgs something to work towards. Often people forget that disabled people aren't just wheelchair users, and even those who are, need more than just that ramp!
My first ever pride, not only as a wheelchair but my first ever EVER pride, I went in expecting to feel at home.
Obviously I wasn't, I'm disabled, so why should I?
Instead there was just a ridiculous amount of uneven flooring, a steep ramp to the disabled toilet, no sanitary towel bin in the disabled toilet (???) no allowances to be let out of the festival to fetch things from my car, no where quiet and organisers who seemed genuinely surprised to see a wheelchair user!
My next pride, three years later, I was a seller, and while they had sorted their toilet problem (still no sanitary towel bin???), the hill to get in wouod have been genuinely impossible for me to get to if I hadn't been driving to get my stall in anyway, even with someone pushing me, no quiet areas, plenty of kerbs for me to get stuck at and again, genuine surprise.
Why is it so surprising to consider disabled people might be at pride? Not only do queer disabled people exist, but parents and family of queer kids and people, vendors and even entertainers!
Hello, welcome to a non-exhaustive list of how paraplegic folks can have sex — from a para guy.
Look, let’s start this party by saying I’m a T8-T9 incomplete para. Caleb, who we will be talking about, is likely injured somewhere from T4 to T6. Now, that I’ve had a closer look at the curl of his hands, probably T4. He could have an incomplete or complete SCI. This will reflect that.
Guys, the dick probably doesn’t work on command.
It might, but odds are slim.
But he can get reflex erections! These are erections from stimulation, even though he cannot feel it. He could also use urethral suppositories to increases blood flow into his dick, causing an erection (though injections are typically more effective), or a vacuum erection device which draws blood into his dick using a hand-held pump. Then a band is placed over his dick to keep the erection.
Anyway, Caleb might have nipple sensation and nipple stimulation is always fun.
Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay, friends.
Multiple sex positions are possible (mod missionary, lap sitting, mod doggy style, spooning, sideways 69), but he will need support for his back as he cannot control any of those muscles below his nipples and has a high likelihood of just tipping over, so a sex swing is a great option, or a seat. One can fuck in the wheelchair, or in an adult tomato chair (a molded seat), but this is a lot more work to clean up and custom wheelchairs cannot always support the weight of two adults.
Caleb is likely very talented with his mouth and yes, he does struggle with hand mobility. But the curl works to our advantage here. Time for some hand PT.
He very likely has reduced anal tone as well, so if we’re going that route, just use a ton of lube anyway. But he’ll need less stretching. 🥰However, with more checks to make sure he’s okay. He can’t feel or see it.
Also do you know what’s pretty nifty about being hip height in your wheelchair? Oral sex, whenever, wherever. Caleb could have his partner lay down wherever, or have them be standing up until they go weak-kneed.
Anyway, remember: disabled people fuck. We fuck a lot.
Caleb being in a chair should not keep you from writing him fucking. (If you’re nervous about it or want to get the specifics down and you need help: my DMs are always open. Unless you’re being a creep. Don’t come into my DMs with the para kink shit. To each your own, man, but keep me out of that).
If you want to call yourself "madpunk", "cripplepunk", "neuropunk", etc, your activism better not stop at the things you find "bad". People with no empathy. People with personality disorders. People who need their aids in daily life. People who have extreme fluctuating emotions. People with paraphilias. People with dissociative disorders. Psychotic people. People who have different modes of eating, excreting, having sex, etc. Homeless people. People who wear diapers. People who have violent urges/thoughts. People who you think are "dangerous". People who use drugs. People who need medication to survive and live. People with physical deformities. People who have delusions. People who struggle with feeding themselves, cleaning, working, etc.
If you think any of these factors make someone "abusive", you are ableist. Abusers are abusive. None of the above things make someone an abuser.
Madpunk and cripplepunk aren't just "adhd and autism punk". Or "mobility aid user punk". Keep that in mind.
