i was once a questioning child
i flipped through several different labels. some so fast or so tentatively i don’t even list them when i talk about previous labels. i’m still constantly examining my identity to see if there’s anything that fits better. i’m still learning about myself while i try to unlearn cisheteronormativity.
the existence of other identities and language created by those groups had nothing to do with my questioning. those communities and the words those who identify with them use weren’t ‘forced’ on me, and it’s not the fault of those groups that when i asked about them, they answered me.
i’m getting really fucking sick of this attitude that ‘mogai tumblr is targeting lgbt youth while they’re vulnerable and making them identify as something they’re not’ because 1) just because that’s not the forever label for some doesn’t mean it won’t stick for another, and 2) there’s no shame in getting it ‘wrong’. that’s part of questioning and growing up - sometimes you find that a label you’d used before wasn’t right for you, or isn’t right anymore. and that’s fine! you don’t have to have it figured out just to use a label!
we’re trying so hard to divide up the lgbtq+/queer experience and that makes the questioning process harder than ‘too many options’ ever will. we’re all in this together, learning about ourselves and our community and how cisheteronormativity has impacted us, and that’s fine. you don’t have to have it all figured out, but if you find comfort in a part of the community you’re allowed to stick with that. you’re allowed to change your mind. you’re allowed to explore. you’re allowed to pull resources from all of us. you’re allowed to be as specific or as vague and change as many times as you want - that’s the beauty of it. we’re all under this rainbow together and we’re not just a bunch of letters with no overlap - we’re a spectrum, we’re a community. you aren’t a fool for thinking you were ace and realizing you’re actually gay, you’re not a traitor for thinking you were gay and cis and realizing you’re straight and trans. you’re just another person fighting your own battle with cisheteronormativity.
and honestly, it’s been made worse by how exclusive and hostile tumblr culture is. like the same people who are up in arms about kids ‘misidentifying’ as nonbinary or aspec are the ones demanding we flash credentials and announce our full orientations before we so much as think about finding solace in lgbtq+/queer spaces - so it’s no wonder people are jumping on labels that might not be right, they’re so rushed through questioning because you’ve destroyed the place in the community for questioning people.
if you’re a questioning kid, you’re doing alright. you’re doing better than a lot of us were. you can change labels every day if you want, you can cherry pick advice and stories from all of us. this is your experience, and the rest of us - adults, other kids, all the lgbtq+/queer community - should be here to offer you what knowledge and help we have, not making you doubt yourself further.
