This “I’m gay not queer and that matters” essay has brought a lot of discussion and I’m sorry, but it seems to boil down to what is respectable for conservatives.
When I was first doing burlesque, I drew a very hard line between what I was doing and what strippers did in strip clubs. And then a very patient burlesque performer who had been at it for significantly longer said, “The only real difference is privilege. You are not economically dependent on burlesque so you can perform how you want to perform when you want to perform. When strip club performs set aside what otherwise might be a boundary because they are relying on a tip-based economy, it’s not because they prefer their boundaries to be more flexible; it is because they need that pay. We should want what we have for all performers who take their clothes off on stage.”
(This is a 15 year old memory but that was the thrust of her argument.)
And now back to our story, already in progress:
I want to say that while I support people identifying as they’d like, (I myself have been annoyed at being told I’m pan when I identify as Bi, but you know what? It’s actually whatever) Butfor someone to say, “I’m just gay, just not QUEER like all of the rest of you,” to me it sounds like a burlesque performer going, “Oh, but I’m not a STRIPPER.”
…I just take my clothes off for an audience.
(“But what I do is respectable , see?”)
Gurl.
You should want what you have for everyone.