#queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

im honestly so jealous of lesbians and gay men, they have their sexuality figured out, where I feel that bisexual people struggle with their sexuality so much. we get so much judgement for the gender of our partners and our sexualities get invalidated so often, even by people in our own community.

when i say i like and prefer women, my past relationships with men shouldnt invalidate my sexuality. when i openly admit i have more experience with men, it doesn't mean i'm not queer, i simply just haven't met the right woman for me. Just because i've dated mainly men in my past doesnt mean i dont want to hold a pretty girl's hand and kiss her forehead, it doesnt mean i dont want to be there for her when she needs me, that i dont want to let her know that shes my entire universe, that i dont want her to feel loved and appreciated. just because i've dated men doesnt mean i dont sit and fantasize about building a home with a girl, raising kids with her, living my life with her.

i just haven't found her yet...

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

Inductions Day

Today was my induction day, and today was so odd. I finally reached a goal I've been working on since freshman year, and now that it's finally over I don't know what to do.

In a weird way it felt like the ceremony was the start of me saying goodbye to one of the safest places I've ever known, goodbye to the long nights and early mornings, goodbye to the periods spent sleeping by the spotlights. Goodbye to the random sing alongs, the jokes made in pass that had to later be explained to someone. Goodbye to the preshow jitters, goodbye to tech week, goodbye to the mental breakdowns for every technical misshaps and the rejoice when the problems where solved. Goodbye to the smoke breaks in the bathrooms, the mental breakdowns in the work shop, goodbye to the room I would throw out my frustrations, the room where I brought other people's visions to life, where I pushed the boundaries over and over and over again. Goodbye to the place I could always go to and everything would fade away, I would become open and vunerable, goodbye to the place that gave me a place to hide in another person's personality, that gave me a place to face reality and never feel guilty for how I reacted to said reality. Goodbye to my safe space, goodbye to the place that gave me two of my closest friends, goodbye to the space that helped me discover who I am, to the place where I finally belonged.