#questionable murder dad

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Marry fuck kiss etc. etc. Legends "villains" style to make it difficult: eobard, Damien, EVIL Jack Harnkess (Malcom), Captain Cold, and brain washed Rip Hunter

*flails* o shit ok here are all these people now. Hello all you people. *rubs my little hands together* Time To Sort Some Motherfuckers.

Marry: Malcolm, because I already picked him by making him a Dumbass, so we might as well just hand this one to him.

Fuck: Brainwashed!Rip, I guess. By default. I don’t particularly want to have sex with any of them so I guess this is it.

Kiss: Damien, but like, on the cheek, because that’s my dad.

Cuddle: Leonard, I guess, but like only inside that big-ass warm Aesthetic Parka.

Kill: Eobard Thawne, rest in peace you little shit

(Send Me Five Names To Marry, Fuck, Kiss, Cuddle, or Kill!)

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MFK with Ray, Harry, Johnny boy, Clark, and Malcolm?

*rubs my little slutty hands together* Here We Go Kids

Marry: Clark Joseph Kent, a sweet baby who just barely beat out My Ray Of Sunshine.

Fuck: John Constantine, because I just think he’d be more comfortable with that than anything else on the list, because we all know his brand is Sad White Boy.

Kiss: SWEET RAYMOND PALMER. A PRECIOUS BABY WHO DESERVES ALL THE KISSES. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE HIM FROM ME, LEGENDS. PLEASE.

Cuddle: Harry, because maybe if I do he’ll stOP WORKING HARRISON WELLS YOU HAVEN’T SLEPT IN THREE DAYS

Kill: *side-eyes Malcolm* We all knew this day was coming you awful manipulative bastard.

(Send Me Five Names To Marry, Fuck, Kiss, Cuddle, or Kill!)

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Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Malcolm Merlyn? ❤️

Jason Todd:

Jason not only grew up in a situation where he had to fend for himself almost completely and had to live around constant abuse, not only was dead for five months and crawled his way out of his own grave, not only underwent unspeakable pain being restored by the Lazarus Pit, but then had to fight for his family’s love back, along the way losing his best friend to The Worst DC Overarching Story In Modern History, and he’s hardly gotten the help for recovery he needs.

Dick Grayson:

Dick’s need to help people out of bad situations, while not faked, is very performative in the sense that he focuses much harder on supporting other people than he shows any regard for himself. If there was such a thing as Oldest Daughter Syndrome for men, it would be Dick Grayson as the example because he so often fills in for his friends where other people fail.

Malcolm Merlyn:

First And Foremost, This Asshole Went Big Abusive On Thea And That Should Not Be Overlooked.

Ever since his wife’s death (hell, if you count the Dark Archer comic series, since childhood), he’s had an overwhelming need to control the world around him. Control his image as a wealthy do-gooder. Control his son’s view of him. Control the League’s ability to affect his life. Control his daughter, quite literally, when he’s run out of allies. Even in Legends, he’s consumed by his need to control his past and his life. He’s a classic control-obsessed narcissist.

(Kat Analyzes Fictional Men-- No One Safe)

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Clark Kent or Malcolm Merlyn

Clark Kent

Sorry Mal

Clark didn’t drug and brainwash his own child for personal gain

*yeets mic at Mal*

(Leave Me Two Characters To Choose To Date!)

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Eobard is building something. He likes to tinker. Malcolm is sipping wine, and watching crappy tv. He would rather die than admit he watches reality shows, though.

Malcolm watches The Real Housewives because they remind him of his friends

You can catch him by asking “so what’s (Not X’s Name) doing now?” and he will proceed to explain that no, that’s X, she and Y are- oh

(Home Alone Friday!)

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Tfw you’re slammed with a sudden wave of love for this mans:

And ur just like:

“????? Where did this come from where did you come from what are you doing here”

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If you hear distant screaming, it’s not me

Actually that’s a lie

It is me

Screaming and fantasizing about Arrow!Malcolm thanks to @bkwrm523

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Hey, I was wondering if you had any headcanons for Malcolm Merlyn. You're one of the few active Malcolm Merlyn fans I'm aware of on here!

Ohhhhhhh ok ok ok oh my god here we go Malcolm Headcanons live from the library. Just. Whatever pops into my head.

Mal is the most fashionable member of the Legion. This is just how it is.

Mal only lets you call him Mal. If anyone else tries to call him anything other than Malcolm or Mr. Merlyn, he gets pissy.

He primarily calls you “darling,” “my love,” “angel,” or “kitten.” 

Mal is…actually an okay cook. He’s a survival expert, so he can do some stuff pretty well. However, if you really enjoy cooking and he can tell it makes you happy, he’ll pretend to be inexperienced so you can “teach” him– he loves watching you explain the techniques to him and get enthusiastic.

When you tell him the safest place in Star City is in his arms, you almost move him to tears.

He is. Very bourgeoisie. Very money. A little bit snobby about his material things. Help him.