#questions comments criticisms

[deadinsidedressage]

I am in the 220lb range (I gained a lot of weight in the autumn mostly because it was such a shitty time for me) and I haven't ridden in months because I feel I'm too heavy for any horse...I am too scared to even think about taking lessons

120lbs is my personal “look at this skinny body!” weight (as in that’s where mainstream media would recognize me as skinny), my current goal weight is 145lbs. If you’re thinking “why is this relevant?”, well my heaviest was just a little bit more than 20lbs less than your current weight. I know for a fact that when I did finally get on a horse again I was 192-194lbs.I know how scary it is to think of riding when you’re not comfortable in your body. Especially when the weight gain comes from stress eating/comfort eating. Then it tends to feel especially shameful that we’ve “let ourselves go”. I also know that you can get back into horses and enjoy them even as an overweight person! Don’t feel guilty or ashamed or anything like that. Just let yourself feel excitement for trying to get back into a sport that brings you a lot of personal happiness! That’s the big thing! I know horses definitely help me manage stress & the dumb daily struggles that come with mental illness. Just focus on the positive, which is taking steps to live your best and happiest life– which means a life with horses in it!My biggest, best piece of advice I can offer is to make little changes that boost your confidence in your body before getting on a horse again for the first time. That might mean making sure you get those 32 ideal ounces of water a day. It might mean cutting back on calories for a 2 weeks before starting lessons. It might just mean making time to go on walks or engage in light physical activity. It’s different for every single person. Just find an easy change you can make that helps you feel empowered. Then you know what you need to do next?? Call around and look for a lesson horse! So long as you explain your situation and that you need a horse that a) you feel secure on and b) is suitable for your level, there’s going to be an opportunity to get back into the groove via lessons. Once you’re situated in lessons, stick with it because you’ve got this! Work on being an effective rider, a balanced rider, and rider with healthy habits. Slowly and overtime focus on building strength and losing the excess fluff that makes things more difficult.When I “decided” I needed to get back into horses because I wasn’t happy without them, I spent 2 or 3 weeks just cutting back my calories to what was necessary & then to what was a “diet” portion (which for me also means focusing on hydration & a healthy sleep/daily schedule). I needed to spend that time making a change that made me feel I could be successful getting back into horses. Which while it’s silly and I probably only lost 2 pounds, I felt I HAD to start losing weight before I got in the saddle. I had to convince myself that a) I could still actually lose weight & stick with a diet and b) that if I set my mind to something, I could do it.  Having spent that time is what has helped me stay with horses and overall just have a better quality of life. I set other “rules” for myself with my riding that continued to make sure I had confidence in my body before I made bigger steps in my riding. Just whatever works for you and makes you feel proud to call your body your own.I am not at all perfect, I gained roughly 7 pounds back since October (uuugh) but I am conscious of how I treat my body.In fact, you’re catching me on week one of “Emma get your damn life together and be the you you want to be”, so if you want a healthy habits buddy– message me any time. You can remind me that I don’t actually WANT to eat an entire tub of Ben & Jerry’s, I just like the idea of it; in turn I can remind you to get 8 hours of sleep or to drink water or to go on walks or whatever it is that you want to focus on as building a healthy habit that makes you feel confident and proud!All our bodies are incredibly capable and wonderful things, the biggest step is always learning to trust our bodies and have confidence in what they can do, even when we think they can.

[deadinsidedressage]

I’m working on training/first level, but I won’t have a trainer for some months. Do you have any tips for teaching yourself/making your own lesson plans?

My new thing when answering asks like this is to start with a disclaimer, so look at this neat disclaimer! In no way do I consider myself a professional, advice I offer is based on my experiences as an equestrian and the schools of thought I follow. My way of doing things is not necessarily the only “right” way to do things and is not automatically and endorsement of being anti-anything. Remember whatever advice I do give you, while hopefully helpful, cannot replace or come close to the advice you can get from a professional who is on the ground and able to see what is happening. I’d say the first step is to do your research, so congratulations on getting started there! I suggest looking up articles/books by true professionals describing what something should look/feel like to help broaden your understanding of the level you’re working at. Gain some theoretical knowledge of the levels first! One thing I do in particularly that is a brilliant if I do say so myself, is looking up the judging expo rides of the tests you are looking at riding or are in the levels your looking to school at. That way you can get a visual of what is correct for the level and! if it’s the videos from the judging clinics- you can hear immediate feedback on what is going well/not going well in the tests that can aid you in refining your eye at that level.Second, you need to make sure you have a way of getting immediate feedback on your rides in order to understand where you need to improve, to understand what is going well, and importantly to actually help develop your feel of what is correct. This can be someone who is willing to watch you ride and who knows enough to say “NICE” and “BAD” or just a camera setup. Doesn’t need to be fancy, but if you’ve got a smartphone and hit record that’s great. Even if you can’t tape your entire ride, do tape the segments that are “going well” definitely “need work” and anytime you are added something new. I often don’t tape my warm-up in order to conserve space to record me actual “workout”. What’s important is that you give yourself some kind of visual feedback, otherwise you’re going to waste your time by not ever really be sure how close you are to your goals/how close you are to getting something. Next, you don’t need to construct lesson plans so much as you need to create goals first. What are you looking to accomplish? Long term goals vs short term goals. Once you have a basic understanding of your goals beyond “I want to ride this level”, work backwards to understanding the steps you’ll need to take first to achieve those goals. For example, you’re interested in doing Training/First so: learning/teaching leg yields will start at a smaller step of refining the horse’s response to the leg and working up to moving the horse off and on a circle’s track until finally you are working up to the actual leg yield as would be preformed in a test. Remember that you need to constantly be working on developing contact, suppleness, impulsion, and obedience (I use this word in place of “responsiveness” just because idk that’s my deal) in anything you’re doing before you can put all the pieces together! Once you’ve worked backwards on your goals to isolate what you need to do in terms of steps, construct a riding schedule. You can just make 2 weeks at a time or 1 or an entire month, but lay out how you want to structure your week of rides (however many days you ride 1-7!), this is important in developing proper plan for reaching your goals. You want to schedule a program that will work on building strength, endurance, and difficulty over time. Not to mention that balances out the different activities you do with your horse (i.e.- trail riding, pole work, jumping, hacks, etc.), you’re not going to stick to a schedule that is monotonous and your horse isn’t going to excel quickly when they’re bored!From then on, it’s a ride to ride basis. Whether you have a trainer or not you should always enter ever ride with goals for that day. Whether it’s the day you’ve marked out as “dressage” or your hack day, make a list of what it is this day is supposed to be about. Trying to smash everything from one level into a single ride  isn’t ever easy or necessarily constructive. You don’t want to be hitting bullet points in terms of training/practicing things. You want to work more at a page at a time, which might mean you only get three “pages” in your ride– that is to say maybe all you manage is circles, lengthens, and moving off the leg. That’s a better approach then feeling you NEED to hit every single thing every single ride. Once you hit those goals, stop the ride. There is no need to push past the things you’ve chosen to isolate and work on that day. Always end on a good note. Not a perfect note, a good note. After every ride, revisit that list you made. Sometimes you won’t reach every single goal and sometimes you will. Or you’ll kind of hit the goal but you got to work a little bit more. Make a list of what you’ve accomplished and a list of what you’ll need to work on next time. This is important for reflective learning, which is evaluating your own performance and determining the areas you need to make improvements on. Take those last two lists you made and then go watch the video you’ve taken. You don’t “need” to tape every ride, maybe once a week is going to be enough but remember to really put that video to use in developing your eye, your feel, and in discovering where you need to improve.Oh and always, ALWAYS keep being the biggest advocate for you own learning. Just because you read one article on riding a lengthen doesn’t mean you’ve done all the work you could do. You need to keep searching for more resources the help improve your theoretical understanding in order to hopefully translate it to practical ability.Any chance you get to ride in front of someone more educated than you, take it. Whether it’s having a barn buddy evaluate you or attending clinics, do it. You learn the best from those who are better than you. Hope that is kind of the answer you were looking for and is helpful! 

[deadinsidedressage]

Wait I was always told horses like the taste of copper? D:

That’s a common misconception and marketing strategy! The same goes for “sweet iron” bits and bits which use aurigan inlays or mouth pieces which also oxidize in the mouth of the horse. The fact is copper, copper alloys (aurigan), steel alloy (”sweet iron”), and aluminum are oxygen reactive metals- meaning they undergo a chemical reaction when exposed to oxygen containing hydrogen bounded compounds (like h2o!). This is why copper/bronze (copper alloy), iron (and “normal steel”), and aluminium aren’t preferred building materials at all. They corrode when exposed to the elements (i.e. moisture)-- which is why bronze statues go green, old horse shoes rust, and aluminum builds up a black gunky outer-layer. That process that greens, rusts, and builds up on metal is what you expose your horse’s mouth to when choosing bits of those materials. If you ever heard or used the phrase “a chemically taste”. that’s a pretty darn good way to explain what tasting a chemical reaction is like. Although, I will admit not every chemical reaction tastes bad. After all there’s a whole science behind that-- baking! Sorry, I had to add my other passion in there ;). Though of course you’re dealing with sugars, proteins, lipids, and carbohydrates when baking. With bits you’re solely dealing with minerals, a substance our bodies (and the bodies of other living things) do not get any caloric value out of and therefore haven’t evolved themselves to be delicious so we spread them and our body hasn’t evolved to like their taste so we eat more of them. (Though, yes minerals are essential to healthy body function of all living things but for humans it’s something like less than half a teaspoon could fill all the minerals you eat in one day. So animals haven’t had a neccesity to develop a taste for minerals because it is easy to get your needed value by sheer chance & luck).

Stainless steel (has chromium added to make a non-reactive metal) and chrome plate (a thin layer of chromium added on top of another metal to insulate it) are the only two metals off the top of my head used in bits that are non reactive metals. They do not oxidize in the mouth which also means they do not change “taste” either. Also, it’s relevant to add that bits that cause oxidation and therefore cause a horse to salivate more (because they’re trying to get ride of the taste) and not going to insure the horse actually accepts the bit any better. Having a horse with a “soft” mouth, that is to say a moist mouth, does make it easier for the horse to take the bit but ultimately bit acceptance comes from training. When the horse engages with the bit and has a relaxed jaw, the salivation comes naturally. If a horse is really struggling with producing enough salivation to maintain a soft mouth than it could be a multitude of things worth changing like bit shape, noseband, even feed that could naturally solve the issue by helping the horse’s natural mechanisms do their job. Of course, a nice “cheaters” way of getting more salivation is as simple as giving sugar, licorice, or peppermints with the bit in. Horses tend to hold those items instead of chomp chomp swallow so they’ll start to salivate so that they can dissolve the yummy thing. There are also a couple of bit gums that stimulate the same reaction but are not edible and therefore not going to cause piggy attitude or tooth decay from overuse.People laugh, but my principle has always been to try and taste the things I am trying to feed to, give (as in medication/supplement), or use in the mouth of my horse. That way I know for sure what something tastes like instead of relying on marketing to tell me it tastes good. ((Coincidentally this is how I know that things like apple flavored dewormer are a goddamn lie and there’s a reason horses’ don’t think they taste delicious))

[deadinsidedressage]

2, 11, 23, 25

2. A famous person I’ve been compared to: Looks wise I used to get Drew Barrymore quite a bit.

11. would I rather be stranded for 10 years with someone I love or for one month with someone I hate, explain: month with someone I hate, cause like I could easily manage a month of surviving with limited resources and force myself to deal with someone I didn’t want to survive. Ten years is too damn long a time to be away from civilization, both people would go mad at some point.

23. my view on being tumblr famous: I think it’s different on Horsblr because hopefully you’re using it to give good advice and look out for people. People who take it way seriously need something else to do with their life. 

25. 5 things within touching distance: my dog, my phone, wine glass, my mom, and one of my cats.

[deadinsidedressage]

Oh okay ty for answering. I could have worded that better :/ sorry

No problem! I was only pointing it out for the irony, didn’t mean to make you feel bad!Anytime anyone is having a hard time understanding my wording or thinks it’s coming from a negative place (when I’m actually responding to things with thought-out responses not mad ones) just ask me to simplify my language! 

[deadinsidedressage]

Just wonder ( not criticising ) but why do you act like your better than everyone else when your say your opinion?

I mean, just going to go out on a limb here and say that sounds a little critical. My perception of the situation would be that I don’t act like I am better than everyone. When I state my opinion or make arguments (and I’m not talking about when I make little joke posts for my own amusement) I just hold myself to a high standard of language use. I find it makes my points more clear and precise if I make them using the same rhetoric I would use in my everyday life. I prefer to write how I speak.

[deadinsidedressage]

*complains about all the drama *goes around starting drama for no reason

I mean, accurate.

[deadinsidedressage]

You seem chill so... I have depression. I love riding and being around horses but I had to stop for a while because I moved. I've gained a shitton of weight because of my depression and now can't find a place that will let me ride or work because I'm too fat, but riding/horses is the only thing that breaks through my depression and lets me work out. so now im stuck and i dont knoq what to do and was wondering if you had any ideas...

I went through some crap in my life that took me away from horses for a short stint and caused me to put on 40 pounds. So I freaking feel you man.Our situation seems a bit different because I have been fortunate enough to always had access to horses, but I’ll let you know what I did and give some suggestions?

So, this is what I did (which are pretty straight forward and you can do too!):

My first step was to start to lose weight. This is not a necessity as there’s always going to be a horse somewhere that can safely accommodate your weight, but as someone who had never been that big before it just made me incredibly self conscious to think about riding. So, let’s just consider step one for you to be “Make Yourself Comfortable”. I think I literally lost 2-3 pounds before I started riding, so give yourself about 2 weeks to develop a good head space for riding. Even if it’s just focusing on staying properly hydrated for those first two weeks, doing things to help take care of your body will help you feel a little better! 

My second step was to set really short term goals for myself with riding, things like “I want to ride x amount of times this month!”. As much as I love horses and riding, it just wasn’t practical  for me to think I could push myself at too fast a pace. I set little goals and worked on accomplishing them first. So, once we get you sorted with a place you can ride or work with horses– just make little goals that you know you can meet at first (ex. I want to get out to the horses ONE day this week). When our brains tell us they’re sick we have to slowly work on changing their behavior over time so they feel more comfortable and capable with the changes we’re trying to make! :)

Kind of my nearly final step was to find ways to hold myself accountable. (Which I still do this).  I don’t have people I can use as riding partners, but I have friends who I can say “hey remind me that I need to ride today” and they do! So, then I use the weird rationale of “well someone told me to, therefore I must” in order to ride on the days I don’t feel well. I don’t know about most people, but I always feel so much better after riding (even after “bad rides”) but often struggle with feeling good enough to want to go and ride. For you, this can be literally anyone! Just someone who is willing to say “hey, didn’t you want to ride today?”. Heck you can message me privately and we can exchange phone numbers or add each other on facebook and I can help you with this one!

I’m massive on goals, so my last real step was just setting long term goals. 6 month and 1 year goals. Those just helped me tell my brain it was something I needed to do so I could work on not allowing myself to make excuses that kept me from something I loved. They can be totally fun goals or serious goals. Just long term things you want to work towards with horses. 

I just continue to repeat the last 2 steps as necessary! :)

Now, as far as finding you horses to work with- there’s no way to change the mind’s of people who are going to be discriminatory towards you, but at least we can take comfort knowing they’re being assholes for no reason. I never said this to myself enough, but your new weight isn’t something that makes you incapable of riding. It doesn’t make you any less of an equestrian. You still deserve your chance to enjoy horses. 

I don’t know how you are with handling rejection right now, but there’s a few options to look towards for finding a horse(s) to ride & work with:

You can always look into working student positions until you find one that takes. Due to the nature of the body shaming in the equine world, you WILL face a lot of rejection until you find someone willing to take you on. It is up to you to determine if you can handle that.

Posting on local tack/horse selling groups isn’t a bad route. You might find some sketchy people, some assholes, some nuts, but you’ll also tend to find some middle aged person somewhere who’s got their hands full and just needs someone to help out exercising horses. 

Asking old riding contacts if they have any horses/know of any horses for you to ride! This depends entirely on how comfortable you are with those people. I know sometimes we cut ties or grow distant, so don’t ever feel you HAVE to rely on people you might not feel okay around anymore.

Asking NEW riding contacts, i.e. our nice equine community members! If you’re near me you’re more than welcome to come ride with me! I know plenty of other bloggers on here feel the same way. :)

Look into finding a therapeutic riding program/horse rescue that needs some help. Honestly, these facilities are always struggling to have enough hands to make everything happen. Contact any in your area and (especially if it’s a therapeutic barn) just explain your situation and how you just want to be around horses for now. Generally, these are the kinds of sweet people who want to help people get their horse fix anyhow. Not to mention, when our brains feel sick– working with people or animals that need our help can help us to feel worthy and like we are making a difference, because we ARE worthy and making a difference! 

You can also just message me to brain storm stuff! Just stick with your goal of trying to get back into horses and the universe is going to find a way to make it happen for you. Horses are such a joy that you deserve the privilege of healing alongside them! :)