My thoughts about the magicians season 4 finale
I dont know if this will help anyone but I feel like I need to get this out. In January I attempted suicide and relapsed into cutting. My brother happen to be watching the magicians and I fell in love. So I binged watched all 3 seasons and even bought live TV to catch up to season 4 and watch it in real time. I felt so connected to Quinton because he had delt with the same issues as me and I didnt feel so alone. I'm also the same age he is/was. I also shipped Quinton and eliot hard as many others have. It showed that us queer people can have love and not be afraid. It gave me something to look forward to and help distract me from my problems for a bit. Then the finale happened. I was devastated. He was spiraling into his depression I thought he would work to get out of after saving eliot, but instead he killed himself to save his friends. It felt like if he cant make it then how can I. He and eliot weren't even able to talk or have just 1 moment together after having the whole season about them being able to see each other again. I understand that it's not realistic but it's a TV show its supposed to help you escape the real world for a little bit. After the finale I had a full break down and self harmed (that's my own fault). I dont understand why they would kill the bi mentally Ill character when he was obviously helping other fans of the show. I still feel devastated and I'm still processing it. I really hope they see there mistake and fix it for the fans, but if not I hope you are all doing ok as ok as you can be. Thank you for letting me have a small rant about the finale. Giving everyone my love and support💜