Nov 12, 2023
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Best Goes Wrong Show Quote
“They kiss, roll credits”
“That’s the rule of Chekov’s Gun: Have a gun”
“LIVING ROOM! LIVING ROOM! LIVING ROOM!”
“Dr. Frog Script enter Dr. Frog.Look at these medical reports they’re ribbeting”
Dennis: she’s my sex life Chris: EX WIFE!
“🎶Brookshaw Corporate, even Jesus loves cash 🎶”
“YOU WILL HAVE YOUR BABY IN THE SODDING MANAGER”
“It was $4.99! For a toaster! I mean do we n e e d that?”
“The court is willing to uphold your erection - i mEAN objection”
*nervously* YOU LOOK NERVOUS
Thank you so much everyone who submitted options!!!!!! I will probably do a second one because there are so many great ones.
So many of my favorites are the visual jokes so I’ll probably try and do one for that!
nothing is better than having him in my arms and hearing his sweet little giggles as i kiss his neck <33
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
—Immanuel Kant, Kritik der reinen Vernunft, 1781
Atomic Habits~
💭 ' i think ultimately you become whoever would have saved you that time that no one did. '
.
Incorrect Omori Quotes: Volume 2! (Bread Twins Edition)
Daphne: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
Daphne: You know how I roll.
Daphne: And I’m NOT talking about that time I fell into a pile of dung at the foot of a hill!
Daphne: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.
Daphne: With great power...comes great need to take a nap, wake me up later, Bowen.
Daphne: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I messed up bad.
Daphne: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Also Daphne: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
Daphne: As Aubrey once told me, if you can’t beat them, dress better than them.
Daphne: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.
What about Bowen??
Bowen, tending to Daphne's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Daphne: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
Bowen: Can you PLEASE be serious for five minutes?!
Daphne: My record is four, but I think I can do it!
Bowen: It’s dark in here...
Daphne: Don’t worry little brother, I got this.
Also Daphne: (Stomps her feet)
Also ALSO Daphne: (Skechers light up)
Bowen: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Daphne: You and me!!!
Bowen, tearing up: Okay...!
Daphne: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Bowen: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
Daphne: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Bowen: Alright, what's 30x17?
Daphne: 47.
Bowen: That's not even close...
Daphne: But it was fast!
Daphne: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?
Bowen: Go the heck to sleep.
Daphne: What gif I don't want to??
Bowen: Screw You.
Daphne: (Laughs in Ohooooo~!)
Bowen: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Daphne, drinking toast: Why do you say that?
Sunbaked Much?
Sunny, walking home with Daphne and Bowen: So how was your day?
Daphne: We almost got surprise adopted!
Sunny: What?
Bowen: We almost got kidnapped.
Sunny: Oh, okay.
Sunny: (stops dead in his tracks) WAIT WHAT?!
Sunny: I love you guys, you're one of the best things that's happened to me.
Daphne, flattered: We're one the best things that's ever happened to you?
Sunny: Yes!
Bowen, flattered: I'm...I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.
Sunny: Basil told me what dandelions symbolize, and they symbolize everything I want to be in life.
Daphne: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Sunny: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Bowen: edible!
Sunny: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Bowen: Sunny no.
Daphne: Mistlefoe!
Bowen: Don't encourage him!
Store Worker: Would a Mx. Sunny please come to the front desk?
Sunny, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: (points to Daphne and Bowen)
Also the Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Daphne and Bowen, simultaneously: We got lost...
Sunny: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me--!
Sunny: Hmmm...what if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Daphne: Oh! The car takes a screenshot!
Bowen: For the last time, and I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, GET OUT OF THE CAR.
(Sunny and Daphne sitting in jail together)
Sunny: So who should we call?
Daphne: I’d call Bowen, but I feel safer in jail.
Sunny: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.
Daphne: The cow???
Sunny: What?!
Bowen: Daphne, W H Y?
Wait Wait Wait, add Aubrey to this Chaos
Sunny: (Screams)
Daphne: (Screams louder to establish dominance)
Aubrey: ...Should we do something?
Bowen: No, I want to see who wins.
Sunny: On a scale from “Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?
Daphne: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Aubrey?
Aubrey: Probably “road work ahead”.
Bowen: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.
Sunny: (Gently taps table)
Daphne: (Taps back)
Aubrey: What are they doing?
Bowen: Morse code.
Sunny: (Aggressively taps table)
Daphne: (Slams hands down) YOU TAKE THAT BACK-
Sunny: Daphne isn’t answering her phone!
Aubrey: I’ll call.
Sunny: Bowen and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Daphne: Hello?
Sunny, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Daphne, pulling out an Uno card: +4!
Aubrey, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Bowen, trembling: What are we playing?!
(Sunny is cooking)
Daphne: Any chance that’s for me?
Sunny: It’s for Bowen. If we're planning on making some bad choices tonight, we need him on our side.
Aubrey: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.
Sunny: You lying, cheating, idiot!
Daphne: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Sunny: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING AUBREY WITH ME!
Bowen, picking up the monopoly board: YEAH I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Sunny: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.
Daphne: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!
Aubrey: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!
Bowen: No no, self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Sunny: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.
Bowen: (Laughs in Ohooooo~)
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Sunny: Well, that sucks...
Daphne: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Aubrey: OH MY GOD BOWEN FELL OFF!!!
(Sunny, Daphne, and Aubrey are sitting on a bench)
Bowen: Why do you guys look so sad?
Sunny: Sit down with us so we can tell you.
(Bowen sits down)
Daphne: The bench is freshly painted.