#qwality qontent

[macademia-nut]

ai as the rebirth of art

I'm sitting in my office listening to some 70's revival/old bluegrass. I'm wearing a shirt with a print on it I bought at some niche site when I was 14. I don't play video games often, but when I do, it's those with an story to tell - how disco elysium is Eastern Europe The RPG. I have a controversial opinion on AI art, and all the artistic seethe it's brought about.

On the music, I have fallen down some algorithmic rabbithole after following the recommendation of my friends. On the surface, it's a post-ironic enjoyment of music created from the heart at a time when the american heart was unbothered. But the original enjoyers of this music were people in bars and concerts and getting tapes from their friends. There was heart in it, I mean to say; everyone who came into contact with it did so because someone they had an emotional dynamic with thought they should, a network of relationships going back to the original creator (the bluegrass fits that description slightly better, I'll admit). The shirt I still own because someone I cared about thought it fit my vibe. Because it was part of my phase of self-definition. Disco Elysium written to fail, but written from the heart.

'But macademia," you may say, "we're all perfectly aware of emotionality being the only true connection one has to art- what does AI have to do with it?"

Because, dear imaginary conversationalist taking my words genuinely, 70s music in the 70s wasn't actually *good*. It was cringe and weird and different. It was, dare I say it, based on the context, kind of bad. But someone sang it to someone else. Someone was talking to someone else in it.

I'm sure you've noticed that there isn't quite anything like subcultures anymore. All modern punks are posers; everyone is trying to fit a look they saw somewhere else. Sure, all creation is imitation; but through inspiration, not through complete access to replication. The internet doesn't really let you be an individual as much as you're just influenced by the thoughts of someone else; ultimately, an advertiser. The purchasing of personality, you and I know this whole bit.

Who is the professional creator in this context? The writer, the corporate artist, the movie director?

Heartless. Content-creators. They're at risk of AI generation taking their jobs because what they're doing isn't Art. Art is communication from the heart; it's ugly, it's bad, it's personal and different and cringe. It's something you show someone that they love because you made it, and the essence of you and your emotionality are visible in every line of it. Art is what you keep despite that, what you share because of it. Sure maybe these creators in hollywood are writing to their mothers or the one who got away- but the rest of us don't have any feeling for it. We're not connected to that social network.

"Okay, sure, but the AI-"

Content for the sake of content is dead.

Every random asshole can create something half-decent, play with it, manipulate it, and leave it behind without engaging in Content.

The only thing that has value is that which has heart.

"Okay, but you like DE- it was still advertised to you through something like steam, or word of mouth - it's not AI generated either- what gives? You're not personally tied to the artist's social network, you're just the target audience."

Ah, but wouldn't it be so much better if I was?

[macademia-nut]

nothing quite like seeing women your age sadgirlposting post-motherhood to make you want to get your mental together before you fuck around and end up actually married

[macademia-nut]

slowly realizing all men are just kinda autistic

[macademia-nut]

https://hindenburgresearch.com/adani/

finally some poc representation in corporate fraud 😤 taking the white out of white collar crime 💞

[macademia-nut]

of course you have mommy issues, darling, I said to him. we all do.

[macademia-nut]

for the purposes of this mental health exercise, Im going to imagine people love me unconditionally.

[macademia-nut]

Im just so afraid of doing something wrong or doing the wrong thing. Im afraid of being laughed at, made fun of for trying and failing. youre not really allowed to fail as a woman, or do badly, or just do something wrong. youre supposed to have predicted all the consequences in advance.

Im not very good at doing my best and letting myself fail. I know we're supposed to. I'm just not very good at it.

I could think up any number of reasons why Im like that. but its just this tension in my heart, of always having been weird and different as a kid, always having to protect myself from peers and adults alike

he wants to learn my language and I told him if he wants to do something meaningful, to learn about something I care about instead. theres a neat guy in my hinge dms. moreso, I know even if I am alone, I will be okay. Ill exercise, enjoy some nice soup, go to the sauna, relentlessly pursue the questions I want to see myself answer in the world.

what really scares me isnt being alone. its dizzying that people might want to be there with me for it. I dont know how to be seen, watched, observed. I dont know how to see the attention of others as anything but terrifying, a negative, a threat.

[macademia-nut]

it is with great sorrow that I must announce that this guy is kinda growing on me

hes like 12 years older and slept with some 50 something women though which is a degree of sluttiness and general age difference that is exceptionally off putting

and has a kid

but hes neat and we talk about politics

he did propose to me one time but this is to be put in the context that he was thinking he might get deployed

I dont know if hes more green or red flags. hes got good vibes sometimes but is also ocassionally sus af

also hes been kinda into me for like a year or two and says he hasnt been a ho since then which is nice of him